Oneeydjaq 0 Posted August 26, 2006 Share Posted August 26, 2006 Evening folks.Ok, after reading about all the depression going on right now I feel it may be useful for me to share a little bit about my life and what happened to me over the past year and change.To lead in I was engaged for 2 years in a relationship that I thought the whole time was the perfect one for me. We broke things off in May of 2004, and I went into a state of depression. I found myself happy that I wasn't fighting and arguing all the time as at the end of our relationship things definitely were filled with more bad times than good. At the same time, I missed the companionship. We had become best friends and I know I missed that aspect of our relationship most. It didn't help that she called all the time, sometimes 3 or 4 times a day, not cause she wanted to get back together, but to tell me about how miserable she was, how lonely etc. This just added to my frustration. During this time I started drinking much more heavily, not so much drinking all the time, as much as binge drinking when I did drink to a point where I just passed out.Fast forward to April 2005, a few one night stands, and a few short and unfullfilling relationships later, the **** really hits the fan...I went out for an innocent night of fun with my brother and our friends, turned into a blackout drunken stooper. Ends with me cartwheel and rolling my car 3 times, an ambulance ride to the hospital where they sew my ear back to my head (I was lucky this was the extent of my injuries aside from some minor cuts and bruises, mostly from the airbag, WEAR YOUR SEATBELT). If you could have called me depressed before, I must have gone into full blown clinical depression then. I isolated myself from friends and family for about a week and really looked deep inside myself. After seeing my car post accident, I knew there was no way I should have survived much less basically walked away. After going through an experience like that, I began to question things like, why did I survive, began feeling like I should have died in that accident, and then wondering if maybe I wanted to. That thought was when things changed. I realized I was still a young man with a lot to do and eventhough life had definitely sent me some major obstacles to overcome, I wanted to do it. It was around this time that I realized just how much I actually did matter to my family. You may not think you have an impact on your family and friends as much as you really do. In august of that year I plead guilty to DUI and was sentenced to 10 days in home detention, 600$ in court costs and fines, 52 hours alcohol education and therapy, 60 hours community service, 2 years probation, and monitored sobriety. Many said that was a slap on the wrist.After my sentencing things really started to open up. I found that the stress and anxiety of not knowing what would happen to me was gone, and now I had a plan. Finish all this stuff and get your life back in the process. I realized one major thing that stood in my way was drinking to excess. Also that the random 1 or 2 month relationship was bringing me down more than helping. I stayed 100% sober for 9 months, started going to the gym, eating right, etc. It was pretty dull, but I could see things starting to come together. Then I realized what was ailing me all along. It was my self confidence, I had lost it completely somewhere in the time my ex and I broke up, and at the time of my accident. Its funny but, nothing boosts self confidence more than a positive attitude. Tell yourself you are the best, you deserve to be happy, you like/love yourself, and you will be surprised how quickly things start to improve. Even if at first you dont really believe it.That was back in about December of last year.In January I put myself out there just to see what jobs were available, I felt like I had nothing to lose, and bam got a great job that i truly love. In April a woman I had been friends with for a year and I realized we were in love with each other. Also, around that time poker really started picking up for me again, all of these things go hand in hand.The moral/point of this story is this. Being upset down a little on your luck, in a bad rut, depressed happens to everyone at some point in their life. Some have a more difficult time with it than others, and some may need help medically or therapeutically. But don't give up on yourself. Stay true to who you are, be confident, tell yourself everyday that you ARE good enough, you DO deserve to achieve your dreams, then do what you can to make it happen. Stay positive, do positive things, avoid people who bring/put you down even if they are family. Remember everything in life is cyclical and if you are on the downswing at this stage, it wont be long til you start back up the upswing.If this posts helps one person feel better, its worth it. Cheers Link to post Share on other sites
sdnuol 0 Posted August 26, 2006 Share Posted August 26, 2006 nice post. hope everything is going good for you now. you listed a few of the reasons i dont drink. i never have and dont plan on it. its not worth the chance. whenever im down i like to listen the "Float on" by modest mouseI backed my car into a cop car the other dayWell he just drove off sometimes life's okI ran my mouth off a bit too much oh what did I sayWell you just laughed it off it was all okAnd we'll all float on okAnd we'll all float on okAnd we'll all float on okAnd we'll all float on any way wellWell, a fake Jamaican took every last dime with that scamIt was worth it just to learn from sleight-of-handBad news comes don't you worry even when it landsGood news will work its way to all them plansWe both got fired on the exactly the same dayWell we'll float on good news is on the wayAnd we'll all float on okAnd we'll all float on okAnd we'll all float on okAnd we'll all float on alrightAlready we'll all float onNow don't you worry we'll all float onAlright already we'll all float onAlright don't worry we'll all float onAnd we'll all float on alrightAlready we'll all float onAliright don't worry even if things end up a bit to heavyWe'll all float on alrightAlready we'll all float onAlright already we'll all float onOk don't worry we'll all float onEven if things get heavy we'll all float onAlright already we'll all float onDon't you worry we'll all float onAll float on***************************tommorow is a new day. and we'll all float on alright Link to post Share on other sites
pckt10s 0 Posted August 26, 2006 Share Posted August 26, 2006 whut up... been away the last two days... really busy with the new job as well as some family matters... playing some poker tonight for the first time in a couple days at least... in the ftp $5 tourney that just started... Link to post Share on other sites
Golden 2 Posted August 26, 2006 Author Share Posted August 26, 2006 whut up... been away the last two days... really busy with the new job as well as some family matters... playing some poker tonight for the first time in a couple days at least... in the ftp $5 tourney that just started...What up pckts! The jobs going well? Link to post Share on other sites
pckt10s 0 Posted August 26, 2006 Share Posted August 26, 2006 What up pckts! The jobs going well?ehhh... besides the juniors and seniors in my class... paperwork... it's aiiight... I'll live... I gotta get up early tomorrow cus they got intra squad games from 9:00 to 1:00... I'll be there at 7:30am... Link to post Share on other sites
sdnuol 0 Posted August 26, 2006 Share Posted August 26, 2006 at some point in my life i plan on never waking up before 10am for the rest of my life Link to post Share on other sites
pckt10s 0 Posted August 26, 2006 Share Posted August 26, 2006 at some point in my life i plan on never waking up before 10am for the rest of my lifeyeah... I did it for the last four months... pretty sweet... Link to post Share on other sites
sdnuol 0 Posted August 26, 2006 Share Posted August 26, 2006 yeah... I did it for the last four months... pretty sweet...me too. i wish i could get that months changed to years though. Link to post Share on other sites
DMBroller 0 Posted August 26, 2006 Share Posted August 26, 2006 What the hell is up in here? Why is it quiet this early? Link to post Share on other sites
pckt10s 0 Posted August 26, 2006 Share Posted August 26, 2006 What the hell is up in here? Why is it quiet this early?GOT MY VANS ON BUT THEY LOOK LIKE SNEAKERS!!!!!!!!! Link to post Share on other sites
Golden 2 Posted August 26, 2006 Author Share Posted August 26, 2006 yeah... I did it for the last four months... pretty sweet...I'll be doing that in 4 months Link to post Share on other sites
mcsoupman 0 Posted August 26, 2006 Share Posted August 26, 2006 Any FT games to check out? Anyone see MM go bananas and blow like 180K last night? He was playing someone HU with some fake name with a monster BR. By chance could that be someone like DN working another site? Link to post Share on other sites
Golden 2 Posted August 26, 2006 Author Share Posted August 26, 2006 Any FT games to check out? Anyone see MM go bananas and blow like 180K last night? He was playing someone HU with some fake name with a monster BR. By chance could that be someone like DN working another site?I am a die-hard Chargers fan. NH Link to post Share on other sites
mcsoupman 0 Posted August 26, 2006 Share Posted August 26, 2006 I am a die-hard Chargers fan. NHYou from SD? Link to post Share on other sites
Golden 2 Posted August 26, 2006 Author Share Posted August 26, 2006 You from SD?Boston, actually. But when I was in the sixth grade (centuries ago) I decided that I would dedicate myself to a team that was terrible. The Chargers were like 2-14 that year, so they were my pick. I have been with them through thick and thin. Link to post Share on other sites
DMBroller 0 Posted August 26, 2006 Share Posted August 26, 2006 Move to Indiana. Then you can root for the home team and teams that suck at the same time. (Although I have to pick the Cubs for baseball since we don't have an MLB team) Link to post Share on other sites
Golden 2 Posted August 26, 2006 Author Share Posted August 26, 2006 Move to Indiana. Then you can root for the home team and teams that suck at the same time. (Although I have to pick the Cubs for baseball since we don't have an MLB team)Don't get me started on baseball. Link to post Share on other sites
DMBroller 0 Posted August 26, 2006 Share Posted August 26, 2006 Yeah the last few weeks for the BoSox have been rough. I heard some guy from Beantown on FSN today saying that since they dropped 5 to the Yanks the season is over. Is that really how people feel in Boston? Link to post Share on other sites
Golden 2 Posted August 26, 2006 Author Share Posted August 26, 2006 Yeah the last few weeks for the BoSox have been rough. I heard some guy from Beantown on FSN today saying that since they dropped 5 to the Yanks the season is over. Is that really how people feel in Boston?Although I hold out hope, that seems to be the consensus around here Link to post Share on other sites
DMBroller 0 Posted August 26, 2006 Share Posted August 26, 2006 I mean I understand that time is running out but there is still time. At least they didn't pwn during the regular season and then choke in the playoffs.Go Colts!! Link to post Share on other sites
CardWarfare 4 Posted August 26, 2006 Share Posted August 26, 2006 Done - a tribute to hanguk.I thought it had been a long time since a random semi-attractive asian was posted at the top of the page.If this posts helps one person feel better, its worth it. CheersYeah, between the back pages of this place and the Sick thread, you can read some of my story, it's also summed up in my blog. I don't go into great detail on my blog, since people I know are more likely to read it. Still, you can get the drift. Hasn't been a fun few weeks for CDub, and aside from me beating up the O8 games online, I really haven't done much with myself lately.I heard some guy from Beantown on FSN today saying that since they dropped 5 to the Yanks the season is over.Believe the hype. It's true. Link to post Share on other sites
sdnuol 0 Posted August 26, 2006 Share Posted August 26, 2006 I'll be doing that in 4 months what happens i n 4 month? Link to post Share on other sites
DMBroller 0 Posted August 26, 2006 Share Posted August 26, 2006 Believe the hype. It's true. I wanted to dislike you for being a Yankees fan. Then I saw somewhere that as a Yankees fan you hate 90% of Yankees fans and I got over it. Link to post Share on other sites
sdnuol 0 Posted August 26, 2006 Share Posted August 26, 2006 Boston, actually. But when I was in the sixth grade (centuries ago) I decided that I would dedicate myself to a team that was terrible. The Chargers were like 2-14 that year, so they were my pick. I have been with them through thick and thin.ive always lived in michigan so ive just been a fan of the lions even though they suck every year. i think im going to become a bengals fan because i like chad johnson. Link to post Share on other sites
CardWarfare 4 Posted August 26, 2006 Share Posted August 26, 2006 I wanted to dislike you for being a Yankees fan. Then I saw somewhere that as a Yankees fan you hate 90% of Yankees fans and I got over it.Yeah, I'll concede that the majority of Yankee fans do not know a damned thing about baseball. Anyone who boos the current AL MVP and wants to trade him bc he's having an "off" year, is just plain retarded. Link to post Share on other sites
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