sniper 0 Posted October 24, 2005 Share Posted October 24, 2005 Here we are, a day before my wife's birthday, and I have nothing.I need suggestions, preferably from ladies.Here's what you need to know:She's not a gambler.You can skip suggesting jewelry or gift certificates for massages. Done that to death.I'm looking for something original.I'll leave her age out of this, but suffice it to say she's firmly "middle-aged".My budget is $100.00.Oh yeah... our anniversary is in a couple weeks, so I'll do the romantic stuff then.Thanks in advance! Link to post Share on other sites
digitalmonkey 929 Posted October 24, 2005 Share Posted October 24, 2005 A kitten from the local SPCA. Link to post Share on other sites
buzbrad11 0 Posted October 24, 2005 Share Posted October 24, 2005 A bust of the most fearsome Pirate you can find!or barring that, make something yourself! She'll love it just because you made it. A card with macaroni glued to it should do just fine, might run you up into the $1 range though, unless your kids have paper, glue, and crayons... Link to post Share on other sites
BilliardsBoy 0 Posted October 24, 2005 Share Posted October 24, 2005 One idea would to maybe put your feelings down on paper.Write her a letter instead of a card in which you tell her how much you love her, how she helps you get thru life, what she means to you, etc.After reading something like that, she won't really care what you get her. Link to post Share on other sites
fryer98 30 Posted October 24, 2005 Share Posted October 24, 2005 Can't you get your wife the same thing you got your girlfriend? Link to post Share on other sites
Pupsta 0 Posted October 24, 2005 Share Posted October 24, 2005 Can't you get your wife the same thing you got your girlfriend?he should also buy that kid in the video glasses or contacts to correct his fucked up depth perception.WON'T SOMEONE THINK OF THE CHILDREN?!? Link to post Share on other sites
Dirtydutch 8 Posted October 24, 2005 Share Posted October 24, 2005 "This was a Christmas gift from Kelly to her parents. Good job Kelly, now pack up your shit and find a foster home. If my kids tried to pass this off as a gift, they'd come home from school and find all their shit outside in a box. What a lousy gift, seriously. You give them video games and toys, and they give you some half-assed drawing with a crooked tree. I wonder how much a gift like this would set someone back. Five, maybe ten minutes to find a napkin and some markers? F"-- Maddoxhttp://www.thebestpageintheuniverse.net/c.cgi?u=irule Link to post Share on other sites
teneight 1 Posted October 24, 2005 Share Posted October 24, 2005 be like homer and make a calender with every month having a different sexy picture of yourself Link to post Share on other sites
sniper 0 Posted October 24, 2005 Author Share Posted October 24, 2005 One idea would to maybe put your feelings down on paper.Write her a letter instead of a card in which you tell her how much you love her, how she helps you get thru life, what she means to you, etc.After reading something like that, she won't really care what you get her.Thanks for the suggestion, Billiard Boy, but I just can't handle that sensitive pussy gift shit.I'm thinking more along the lines of power tools or booze, with a feminine touch, like maybe a pink ribbon around a nice Makita sawzall.Besides, if I put my true feelings down on paper, she could use it as evidence in divorce court. Link to post Share on other sites
the red bull 0 Posted October 24, 2005 Share Posted October 24, 2005 One idea would to maybe put your feelings down on paper.Write her a letter instead of a card in which you tell her how much you love her, how she helps you get thru life, what she means to you, etc.After reading something like that, she won't really care what you get her.Thanks for the suggestion, Billiard Boy, but I just can't handle that sensitive pussy gift shit.I'm thinking more along the lines of power tools or booze, with a feminine touch, like maybe a pink ribbon around a nice Makita sawzall.Besides, if I put my true feelings down on paper, she could use it as evidence in divorce court.get her a machete. Link to post Share on other sites
digitalmonkey 929 Posted October 24, 2005 Share Posted October 24, 2005 How about a nice video? Link to post Share on other sites
BDPoolie 0 Posted October 24, 2005 Share Posted October 24, 2005 "This was a Christmas gift from Kelly to her parents. Good job Kelly, now pack up your shit and find a foster home. If my kids tried to pass this off as a gift, they'd come home from school and find all their shit outside in a box. What a lousy gift, seriously. You give them video games and toys, and they give you some half-assed drawing with a crooked tree. I wonder how much a gift like this would set someone back. Five, maybe ten minutes to find a napkin and some markers? F"-- Maddoxhttp://www.thebestpageintheuniverse.net/c.cgi?u=irule This made me laugh so hard I was crying. Hilarious! Link to post Share on other sites
Nikki_N 17 Posted October 24, 2005 Share Posted October 24, 2005 Easy: I Pod ShuffleNaughty: Hitachi Magic Wand (search ebay: It plugs in, no batteries)And as to the feelings on paper: Great idea, but don't do it in lieu of a gift. We still like something to unwrap. Link to post Share on other sites
buzbrad11 0 Posted October 25, 2005 Share Posted October 25, 2005 Take me out to the black.Tell ‘em I ain’t comin’ back.Burn the landAnd boil the sea.You can’t take the sky from meReminds me, get her the boxed set of Firefly. The best undiscovered tv show ever. Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted October 25, 2005 Share Posted October 25, 2005 If you dont buy her this, you are a fool:Amputee porn. NEVER fails. Ever. Link to post Share on other sites
custom36 4 Posted October 25, 2005 Share Posted October 25, 2005 Easy: I Pod ShuffleNaughty: Hitachi Magic Wand (search ebay: It plugs in, no batteries).Easy and naughty: Perfect. Link to post Share on other sites
Nikki_N 17 Posted October 26, 2005 Share Posted October 26, 2005 Easy: I Pod ShuffleNaughty: Hitachi Magic Wand (search ebay: It plugs in, no batteries).Easy and naughty: Perfect.I am a genius that way. And, like it was suggested earlier, the Boxed set of Firefly. Best.show.ever. Link to post Share on other sites
NortonFan 0 Posted October 26, 2005 Share Posted October 26, 2005 What did you get her? Link to post Share on other sites
sniper 0 Posted October 26, 2005 Author Share Posted October 26, 2005 Thanks for all the advice FCP'ers.I ended up getting her a spendy bottle of Chardonnay, some fancy chocolate and a better TV to replace the one in our bedroom (so we can watch that amputee porn). It felt more like the type of stuff you give for Valentines Day, but dammit, I suck at gifts, plus I'm a procrastinator.Plus, after 14 years of birthdays, anniversaries, Christmas, Valentines and Mother's Day gifts, a guy can run out of frickin' ideas.I spent more than my budget of $100.00, but I consider the TV to be as much a gift to myself.Consider this thread shut down... unless you need to flame me for my choice of gifts. Link to post Share on other sites
SAM_Hard8 50 Posted October 26, 2005 Share Posted October 26, 2005 She?s really upset with me again,I didn?t give her what she likes.I don?t know what to tell her,Don?t know what to say.Everything got funky last night.She was really bombed,And I was really blown away,Until I asked her what she wanted,And this is what she had to say:A pearl necklace.She wanna pearl necklace.She wanna pearl necklace. Link to post Share on other sites
sniper 0 Posted October 26, 2005 Author Share Posted October 26, 2005 She?s really upset with me again,I didn?t give her what she likes.I don?t know what to tell her,Don?t know what to say.Everything got funky last night.She was really bombed,And I was really blown away,Until I asked her what she wanted,And this is what she had to say:A pearl necklace.She wanna pearl necklace.She wanna pearl necklace.No birthday required for that gift!It's the gift that keeps on coming.Copyright: ZZ Top Link to post Share on other sites
Dirtydutch 8 Posted October 26, 2005 Share Posted October 26, 2005 sniper, does your wife look anything like your avitar? Link to post Share on other sites
sniper 0 Posted October 26, 2005 Author Share Posted October 26, 2005 sniper, does your wife look anything like your avitar? One night she did... after I had 13-14 Captain Cokes.Seriously though... I'd say she's a milf.I'd like her even more if I didn't have to listen to her. Link to post Share on other sites
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