Mandelbrot 0 Posted January 29, 2005 Share Posted January 29, 2005 Horn broken, watch for finger.Help wanted telepath: you know where to apply.Marriage is a three ring circus: engagement ring, wedding ring, suffering. Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted January 29, 2005 Share Posted January 29, 2005 "Stop reading the wall and go back to work..."Jeff F.Perfect. Link to post Share on other sites
scoots 0 Posted January 29, 2005 Share Posted January 29, 2005 is he the comedian who has the stand up bass going in the background? i hear him on XM 150 all the time, very funny... Link to post Share on other sites
DiverDown4 0 Posted January 29, 2005 Share Posted January 29, 2005 How about, "Murials Suck" Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted January 29, 2005 Share Posted January 29, 2005 "If we are all Gods children then what makes Jesus so special??" Link to post Share on other sites
Guest XXEddie Posted January 29, 2005 Share Posted January 29, 2005 "If we are all Gods children then what makes Jesus so special??"Because he can turn water....into FUNK!99.9% of you wont get it, but it gives me a cheap laugh Link to post Share on other sites
Duff_Man 0 Posted January 29, 2005 Share Posted January 29, 2005 Someone handed me a picture and said, "This is a picture of me when I was younger." Every picture of you is when you were younger. "...Here's a picture of me when I'm older." Where'd you get that camera man? Â I was at this casino minding my own business, and this guy came up to me and said, "You're gonna have to move, you're blocking a fire exit." As though if there was a fire, I wasn't gonna run. If you're flammible and have legs, you are never blocking a fire exit. Â These two made me laugh so hard I started to cry. I'm gonna have to check his stuff out. Link to post Share on other sites
koolromeo 0 Posted January 29, 2005 Share Posted January 29, 2005 "god have mercy on the man who doubts what he's sure of."b.springsteen Link to post Share on other sites
Randy Reed 0 Posted January 29, 2005 Share Posted January 29, 2005 we're idiots babe, it'z a wonder we can even feed ourselves... Link to post Share on other sites
Sullyarmy 0 Posted January 29, 2005 Share Posted January 29, 2005 there is too much blood in my alchohol system! Link to post Share on other sites
Lori 0 Posted January 29, 2005 Share Posted January 29, 2005 sorry cant help you. maybe if you had asked in limerick form...LMAO!! You're too funny. Link to post Share on other sites
Greenlyt 0 Posted January 29, 2005 Share Posted January 29, 2005 Some more Steven Wright:Do you live around here often?When asked how he feels, he replies: You know when your sitting in a chair and you lean back to a point right before you fall backwards and you catch yourself right at the last second? I feel like that all the time.....My friend Dave walked his dog all at once.My friend and I traveled across country together. We only had on tape to listen to.....Man I wish I could remember what it was...My friend is a midget dwarf. He is the guy that models for trophies.Some Brian Regan:Its a cup of dirt.I bought two boxen of doughnuts. Link to post Share on other sites
wrto4556 0 Posted January 29, 2005 Share Posted January 29, 2005 "If we are all Gods children then what makes Jesus so special??"Because he can turn water....into FUNK!99.9% of you wont get it, but it gives me a cheap laughYou watch to much TV. :-) Link to post Share on other sites
Guest XXEddie Posted January 29, 2005 Share Posted January 29, 2005 your point....? Link to post Share on other sites
detterz 0 Posted January 29, 2005 Share Posted January 29, 2005 Why did the monkey fall off the tree?Because he was dead.Why did the second monkey fall of the tree?Peer pressure.Maybe all you dudes here can post your best pick up lines that you've actually used! Link to post Share on other sites
AceOfSpaiDs 0 Posted January 29, 2005 Share Posted January 29, 2005 anything from the Blue Collar Comedy Tour, Dave Chappelle, George Carlin,Robin Williams, or Martin Lawrence would work "is that a ghost driving that car (talking about a short/old/slow grandma)?""NO, I see knuckles."-George Carlin Link to post Share on other sites
allinbluff35 0 Posted January 29, 2005 Share Posted January 29, 2005 Pick up lines, sure. Some have worked others haven't.If you and I were squirrels, could I bust a nut in your hole?Do you believe in love at first site or should I walk by again?That shirt is very becoming on you, I guess if I were on you I'd be coming to.Is it cold in here, or are you just smuggling tic-tacs?If your left leg was christmas and your right leg was easter, can I meet between the holidays?If I flip a coin, what do you reckon my chances are of getting head?You're like a Pringle. Once I pop ya, I just can't stop ya.And I can't think of anymore. Link to post Share on other sites
MapleLeafs 142 Posted January 29, 2005 Share Posted January 29, 2005 I love lamp. Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Anonymous Posted January 29, 2005 Share Posted January 29, 2005 The world needs ditch diggers too.What is the soup de juer? Thats the soup of the day.UMMM that sounds good. Link to post Share on other sites
sprfcta 0 Posted January 29, 2005 Share Posted January 29, 2005 Everybody's ignorant. Just about different things. Link to post Share on other sites
A3DDFAN 0 Posted January 29, 2005 Share Posted January 29, 2005 "if every wall were made to be murals, wouldn't we call walls murals?" Link to post Share on other sites
Varm 0 Posted January 29, 2005 Share Posted January 29, 2005 90 percent of poker is half mental Link to post Share on other sites
Guest XXEddie Posted January 29, 2005 Share Posted January 29, 2005 Pick up lines, sure. Some have worked others haven't.If you and I were squirrels, could I bust a nut in your hole?Do you believe in love at first site or should I walk by again?That shirt is very becoming on you, I guess if I were on you I'd be coming to.Is it cold in here, or are you just smuggling tic-tacs?If your left leg was christmas and your right leg was easter, can I meet between the holidays?If I flip a coin, what do you reckon my chances are of getting head?You're like a Pringle. Once I pop ya, I just can't stop ya.And I can't think of anymore.If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put "u" and "i" togetherAre you a parking ticket because you have "fine" written all over you(to 2 women) Excuse me ladies, I don't wanna come between you...or do I Link to post Share on other sites
Varm 0 Posted January 29, 2005 Share Posted January 29, 2005 corduroy pillows make healdines Link to post Share on other sites
thakilla 0 Posted January 29, 2005 Share Posted January 29, 2005 There are three types of people in this world...those who can count...and those who can't. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts
Create an account or sign in to comment
You need to be a member in order to leave a comment
Create an account
Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!
Register a new accountSign in
Already have an account? Sign in here.
Sign In Now