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Essay's Top Ten


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I think he really really relates to Home Alone just for the title.

So, instead of doing actual work i need to do I decided to go through and tabulate all the punishments handed down by Essay. Not counted: prelim warnings (1 each) for BigD and Rod. Also, Essay was "

I'm assuming my jokes are valued at .77 of a man's.

This is a HARD one for me. I loved the old porn stars like Christy Canyon and Nina Hartley because they were my first. But girls are so much hotter now because of fashion, hair style and working out. They changed, I changed. Love the classics and those two might make my top 10, but I'm gonna have more new than old in my list.

 

I prefer the girls that are passionate love makers, not the ones that get roughed up and make weird noises when trying to cram a dick all the way down their throat.

 

I have this weird fascination, and clearly I'm not alone since she has about 10 of these scenes out, that I've seen, but this one "older" chick with a definite workout body and a super hot/cute 21 year old chick, and they double team the guy. The older chick is giving instructions to the guy and the young girl. You get everything in those scenes. Can't remember the older girl's name. It will come to me.

 

There are too many puns in the above, and my brain short circuited.

 

BigD, I appreciate your meta--liking your own post about masturbation.

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Frautotenkinder's Things That Went Right On Wednesday, April 1st

  1. I was a reference for a former boss of mine, sealing the deal for her new fancy job. I'm really happy for her, good people getting good things--also, she'll probably make me an offer in less than a year.
  2. I started a four day weekend.
  3. Tonight, I'm going to a fundraiser with indie music, lots of LA hipsters, and my hot, black friend.
  4. There's basketball on TV, and I can watch and not wear pants.
  5. I have free passes for a new-to-me museum, and a local day-trip planned for Friday.
  6. I have five library books.
  7. Fast & Furious 7 opens!
  8. My co-worker knows I like smoky palomas, so he brings me grapefruit from his parent's yard.
  9. I went to my local place, ate Mexican food, and drank beer with chili rim last night. I'm exhausted and thin from working too much, so I'm a cheap date.
  10. I thought of a new way to piss off Essay.

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The first porn I ever saw was with Amber Lynn where she lived in a house full of women who all traded sexual favors in exchange for essential services.

The ****ed the landlord and the mechanic and the water man and at the very end, the one 'shy' roommate who up to that point had refused to participate in such shenanigans ****ed an IRS man.

 

It pretty much shaped my perspective on sexuality; that its basically all a trade and the best way to get laid is to control something a woman wants or needs.

Realizing this at 12 paid huge dividends in junior high, with the girls from the troubled youth group home down the street.

 

72405big_amberpayre.jpg

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Frau, thats ten more official warnings. Im watching you.

 

Big d is right, the last 18 year girl in her first scene is my favorite. That youthful exuberance cant be beat.

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Essay's Top Ten Movie Villains

 

 

1. Patrick Bateman, "American Psycho"

2. Gordon Gekko, "Wall Street"

3. William 'Bill the Butcher' Cutting, "Gangs of New York"

4. Calvin Candie, "Django: Unchained"

5. Detective Alonzo Harris, "Training Day"

6. Tony Montana, "Scarface"

7. Nicky Santoro, "Casino"

8. Anton Chiguhr, "No Country for Old Men"

9. Hans Landa, "Inglorious Basterds"

10. Frank, "Once Upon a Time in the West"

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Really appreciate the list. Dare I say, this thread is the best work suited has ever done. I have a new found respect.

 

 

But GOD DAMN, how do you leave off Hans Gruber? Is it a generational thing, because people my age think he's the best villain of all time.

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Really appreciate the list. Dare I say, this thread is the best work suited has ever done. I have a new found respect.

 

 

But GOD DAMN, how do you leave off Hans Gruber? Is it a generational thing, because people my age think he's the best villain of all time.

 

i actually had him on there at 10 but took him off to honor henry's amazing work in OUATITW. close call for sure.

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Also, and I hate to nit pick here, but even if your hero is an anti hero, I think the Protagonist of the movie should be excluded from the List. It's not a top ten "bad guy" it's top ten villian, aka antagonist.. and you can't argue that Scarface was an antagonist. I mean, I see what you're doing there, but he's not the antagonist. Also, I think you're spitting in Bvy's face, not having the Joker.

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ledger is getting the JFK treatment. if he was still alive nobody would be talking about that performance anymore.

 

and yes, i know what i did, but a list of only antagonists wouldn't have been as good. i need some bad guys. you aint ever seen a bad guy like this.

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