JoeyJoJo 18 Posted November 9, 2009 Share Posted November 9, 2009 Awesome Link to post Share on other sites
Nikki_N 17 Posted November 9, 2009 Share Posted November 9, 2009 you'd think so, but you won't be laughing when she goes all quadraphonic on your simian."poor george. he's not so curious anymore..."Brilliant. Link to post Share on other sites
Mercury69 3 Posted November 10, 2009 Share Posted November 10, 2009 You had me at Fig Newton Link to post Share on other sites
timwakefield 68 Posted November 12, 2009 Share Posted November 12, 2009 http://www.cracked.com/blog/the-great-2009-literary-sex-off/ Link to post Share on other sites
JoeyJoJo 18 Posted November 12, 2009 Share Posted November 12, 2009 http://www.cracked.com/blog/the-great-2009-literary-sex-off/I think he said it best when he said, "Yikes."For example, see here:“Girls, you will never walk into any garden and see any self-respecting flower chasing the bees. Picture that. They won’t do it. They know enough to stay right where they’re planted, and they blossom, and have a sweet fragrance that comes from within. The bees will come to them. Oh my, how they’ll come.“Yikes. Sounds like someone chased that bee metaphor all the way to orgasm. Link to post Share on other sites
JoeyJoJo 18 Posted November 12, 2009 Share Posted November 12, 2009 Girls, you will never walk into any garden and see any self-respecting flower chasing the bees.Upon further review, this is just such an awesome statement. "Self-respecting flower."Are there flowers that have self-esteem problems? Are there slutty flowers?And if there are slutty flowers, shouldn't those be the flowers you bring on a first date? Link to post Share on other sites
hank213 1,823 Posted November 12, 2009 Share Posted November 12, 2009 Upon further review, this is just such an awesome statement. "Self-respecting flower."Are there flowers that have self-esteem problems? Are there slutty flowers?And if there are slutty flowers, shouldn't those be the flowers you bring on a first date?I'm partial to flowers with daddy issues. Link to post Share on other sites
pezeveng 207 Posted November 12, 2009 Share Posted November 12, 2009 , I let out a cry of pleasure as she pressed a fingertip against the tight brown ring of my anus.I like this, this works. Link to post Share on other sites
LongLiveYorke 38 Posted November 12, 2009 Share Posted November 12, 2009 “Girls, you will never walk into any garden and see any self-respecting flower chasing the bees."Okay, I mean, I hate to be a stickler, but this metaphor makes little sense. Flowers are simultaneously male and female; they have both organs. So, unless this advice is aimed at hermaphrodites with insect infatuations, it's not really applicable. Link to post Share on other sites
mrdannyg 274 Posted November 13, 2009 Share Posted November 13, 2009 I'm partial to flowers with daddy issues.Nice work.Okay, I mean, I hate to be a stickler, but this metaphor makes little sense. Flowers are simultaneously male and female; they have both organs. So, unless this advice is aimed at hermaphrodites with insect infatuations, it's not really applicable.I am flabbergasted that a bee/flower sex metaphor was not completely apt.That sounds like I'm making fun of you. I'm not. Partly because I know I'd get my e-ass e-handed to me, but mostly because you're definitely a top-3 poster on this site in terms of quality, and I love you in every way. Kind of like...a bee and a flower? Link to post Share on other sites
speedz99 145 Posted November 13, 2009 Share Posted November 13, 2009 Ng-hey! I mean, I hate to be a stickler, but oh good glayven, this metaphor makes little sense. Flowers are simultaneously male and female; they have both organs for the courting and the sexing and the flaaaaayven! So, unless this advice is aimed at hermaphrodites with insect infatuations, it's not really applicable. Mm-hai bw-ha whoa-hoa!Frink'd Your Post Link to post Share on other sites
Sal Paradise 57 Posted November 13, 2009 Share Posted November 13, 2009 Frink'd Your Post great googly moogly this was good. Link to post Share on other sites
JoeyJoJo 18 Posted November 13, 2009 Share Posted November 13, 2009 you're definitely a top-3 poster on this site in terms of qualityI've got him more in the 11-15 range.Frink'd Your Post Now that's a top three poster. Link to post Share on other sites
LongLiveYorke 38 Posted November 14, 2009 Share Posted November 14, 2009 I've got him more in the 11-15 range.Yeah, but remember that one time that I said that really funny thing? You know, that thing? It made Ron Mexico laugh, I think. Link to post Share on other sites
Southern Buddhist 1 Posted November 15, 2009 Author Share Posted November 15, 2009 I was doing a crossword the other day and to my delight the answer was ... SQUELCH!!!So nobody would name a punk band "mouthful of vulva"?In answer to NikkiN, "how did this get published?" is exactly what I'm wondering. As I've discovered, at least half a dozen people see a book prior to publishing -- the writer, deluded though he/she may be; presumably an editor, and a few different people who are responsible for layout, design, cover, and printing. Now, a porn publisher may be a little more streamlined, but I still have to think at least three or four people saw this, and it blows my mind to think that not one of them said, "No, wait, stop...this isn't porn, it's porn FAIL." Link to post Share on other sites
Nikki_N 17 Posted November 15, 2009 Share Posted November 15, 2009 I was doing a crossword the other day and to my delight the answer was ... SQUELCH!!!So nobody would name a punk band "mouthful of vulva"?In answer to NikkiN, "how did this get published?" is exactly what I'm wondering. As I've discovered, at least half a dozen people see a book prior to publishing -- the writer, deluded though he/she may be; presumably an editor, and a few different people who are responsible for layout, design, cover, and printing. Now, a porn publisher may be a little more streamlined, but I still have to think at least three or four people saw this, and it blows my mind to think that not one of them said, "No, wait, stop...this isn't porn, it's porn FAIL."The author shouldn't be paid for this work. He/she should be fined. Link to post Share on other sites
hank213 1,823 Posted November 15, 2009 Share Posted November 15, 2009 I was doing a crossword the other day and to my delight the answer was ... SQUELCH!!!So nobody would name a punk band "mouthful of vulva"?In answer to NikkiN, "how did this get published?" is exactly what I'm wondering. As I've discovered, at least half a dozen people see a book prior to publishing -- the writer, deluded though he/she may be; presumably an editor, and a few different people who are responsible for layout, design, cover, and printing. Now, a porn publisher may be a little more streamlined, but I still have to think at least three or four people saw this, and it blows my mind to think that not one of them said, "No, wait, stop...this isn't porn, it's porn FAIL."because the smut industry has such exacting standards. Link to post Share on other sites
Nikki_N 17 Posted November 16, 2009 Share Posted November 16, 2009 because the smut industry has such exacting standards.As consumers of smut, we should demand a higher quality of filth. Link to post Share on other sites
Southern Buddhist 1 Posted November 16, 2009 Author Share Posted November 16, 2009 As consumers of smut, we should demand a higher quality of filth.True dat. Link to post Share on other sites
Sick Boy 0 Posted November 16, 2009 Share Posted November 16, 2009 Pretty intense lol i just had there.Thanks for that/ Link to post Share on other sites
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