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The Humor Of Homosexuality

keith crime

By keith crime,
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keith crime

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The humor of homosexualityI sincerely hope this doesn’t make me sound like Anita Bryant or an Army General. I lived in San Francisco for ten years and once saw six huge guys all walking in a row dressed as Marge Simpson, sure it was Halloween but that could totally have been a coincidence out there. I loved going to the Gay Pride Parade and seeing the show, but only when I had a girl to go with because I didn’t want to get caught on CNN and have my parents think I was coming out. I have zero problems with homosexuals or anything they do. Live it up. Anyone who isn’t spitting our babies left and right, and in fact want to adopt the spawn of decades of Jerry Springer guests are saints in my book. Like most guys, the very idea of doing similar so disgusts us that we’re completely convinced that you would have to be born that way to want to do that stuff (am I protesting too much?). Nevertheless, I’d call my self homo-friendly.A friend of mine and I went to the premiere XFL game in Los Angeles together – I can’t defend this, although I’m pretty sure the tickets were free. Actually, I probably went to like 5 that one special year. I would have felt like a loser but it was hard to because the poor sap who always sat next to us was the biggest loser in the Country. Dude went to XFL games alone. He was overweight. He’d clearly never even hugged a girl. One week he let slip that he was in three(!) XFL fantasy leagues and our mouths dropped agape for at least fifteen minutes. Ladies and Gentlemen, we’ve found him the most pathetic dude on the planet. This is maybe the only guy alive who would have become a homosexual as a social choice. Anyway, another guy in our group, had already drawn our fire for actually being excited about the football game that day. He was basically the only guy not checking out the hot tub and yelling at women to take their tops off. We found out why when someone seated near him said the word “fag” and he snapped back “for all the fags here why don’t we agree not to use that word.” See straight males’ problem is that we love that word. Doug Stanhope has said that it’s such a good word that he’ll gladly suck your **** for the right to use it. There is really no better way for straight male friends to bond than to accuse them of having been involved in the grossest act of love between two men that we can possibly conceive. Go ahead and accuse me of being secretly desirous of such an encounter, for all I know you’d probably be right. I’m not trying to defend myself and my friends, I’m just reporting on the state of the scene. I admit it’s a huge parade of penis jousting, but I don’t think we mean any harm. I just hope to God that there aren’t 17 year old kids out there crying because my buddy enjoys calling me up and asking me how much **** I’ve been sucking. A lot of straight males don’t even think of homosexuality when they use the word fag, you’ve probably seen the less eloquent of them in documentaries around the world. To those guys they just think it means someone who exhibits the least possible amount of manliness. Like Stanhope, they want to claim the word for themselves, and have everyone else forget the original concept. We’re pardoning you guys, but we’re going to recycle the word for other stuff. You’re gay? “Cool, how’s that working out for you?”You’re straight? “Hey, dude how much **** you been sucking out there!”Not buying it, huh. You’re right, I can’t intellectually defend any of this behavior. In fact, I think I’m sorry that I’ve even brought it up.

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SuitedAces21

SuitedAces21 2,722

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The humor of homosexualityI sincerely hope this doesn’t make me sound like Anita Bryant or an Army General. I lived in San Francisco for ten years and once saw six huge guys all walking in a row dressed as Marge Simpson, sure it was Halloween but that could totally have been a coincidence out there. I loved going to the Gay Pride Parade and seeing the show, but only when I had a girl to go with because I didn’t want to get caught on CNN and have my parents think I was coming out. I have zero problems with homosexuals or anything they do. Live it up. Anyone who isn’t spitting our babies left and right, and in fact want to adopt the spawn of decades of Jerry Springer guests are saints in my book. Like most guys, the very idea of doing similar so disgusts us that we’re completely convinced that you would have to be born that way to want to do that stuff (am I protesting too much?). Nevertheless, I’d call my self homo-friendly.A friend of mine and I went to the premiere XFL game in Los Angeles together – I can’t defend this, although I’m pretty sure the tickets were free. Actually, I probably went to like 5 that one special year. I would have felt like a loser but it was hard to because the poor sap who always sat next to us was the biggest loser in the Country. Dude went to XFL games alone. He was overweight. He’d clearly never even hugged a girl. One week he let slip that he was in three(!) XFL fantasy leagues and our mouths dropped agape for at least fifteen minutes. Ladies and Gentlemen, we’ve found him the most pathetic dude on the planet. This is maybe the only guy alive who would have become a homosexual as a social choice. Anyway, another guy in our group, had already drawn our fire for actually being excited about the football game that day. He was basically the only guy not checking out the hot tub and yelling at women to take their tops off. We found out why when someone seated near him said the word “fag” and he snapped back “for all the fags here why don’t we agree not to use that word.” See straight males’ problem is that we love that word. Doug Stanhope has said that it’s such a good word that he’ll gladly suck your **** for the right to use it. There is really no better way for straight male friends to bond than to accuse them of having been involved in the grossest act of love between two men that we can possibly conceive. Go ahead and accuse me of being secretly desirous of such an encounter, for all I know you’d probably be right. I’m not trying to defend myself and my friends, I’m just reporting on the state of the scene. I admit it’s a huge parade of penis jousting, but I don’t think we mean any harm. I just hope to God that there aren’t 17 year old kids out there crying because my buddy enjoys calling me up and asking me how much **** I’ve been sucking. A lot of straight males don’t even think of homosexuality when they use the word fag, you’ve probably seen the less eloquent of them in documentaries around the world. To those guys they just think it means someone who exhibits the least possible amount of manliness. Like Stanhope, they want to claim the word for themselves, and have everyone else forget the original concept. We’re pardoning you guys, but we’re going to recycle the word for other stuff. You’re gay? “Cool, how’s that working out for you?”You’re straight? “Hey, dude how much **** you been sucking out there!”Not buying it, huh. You’re right, I can’t intellectually defend any of this behavior. In fact, I think I’m sorry that I’ve even brought it up.
That was Keith. On the weekends, Keith does stunts for Little Richard in gay movies
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SteveR

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from tucker max

The gay guys are flamboyant and entertaining, real thin, drink bright colored drinks, and wear dazzling, shiny clothes. The straight guys wear tight shirts and hang out in packs, waiting for opportunities to hit on the numerous hot girls that go to those clubs "just to dance."Not in Chicago. In Chicago, the gay guys look and act just like straight guys, except they accessorize and dress better. And suck ****.
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