Cool Story Please Read!

[ILOVECOOLTHINGS 0]

Ok, so here is the possibly the coolest and most revealing story ever to be told about the mysterious place that is known to us as "The Hell House!." Ok, so my story starts out with me and three of my closest amigos and we decided one night to find the most scariest and insane place on this side of the mississippi. So we asked ourselves "Dude, where can we go??!?" my buddy replies with "Man lets goto to this cool place called hell house in ellicot city MD." I said "Dude we live in boston." He said "No problem son." So we began our one day journey from boston mass to the land of the enchanted forests in the wonderful state of MD. We ended up making a pit stop in PA, but thats a different story. Ok. Now to the good stuff. We begin our journey down the ol' bonnie branch road and what do we see? an old woman walking down the street at 1 am. WOW. Starting out strange already I thought to myself. My buddies obligied. We continued until we saw the most craziest looking place ever on the side of the road. but it wasn't hell house it was a paper mill, and I digress. We then See the hell house on the top of the hill. I saw wooow what a wonderful and mysterious place. This is nothing like Boston, MA. So we drive around and find ourselves at the driveway of this wonderful specimen. We park halfway up the driveway and wonder off into the hills and up the driveway. I must say the feeling you get from this place is mmmmmiiiighty wierd and i HONESTLY felt like I was being watched with every step i take.Ok, so me and my associates make our way to the top, and stop and gaze at the wonderful moonlight glaring and beaming through the most beautiful wall I have ever seen in my life. Ok, so we come up with a great plan to split up and go on our marry ways and meet up at exactly 0:700 hours. So I make my way through the building and duck and dodge all of this wonderful artwork. I find my way to the basement, and what do I see? I see a table and a young man staring, and gazing, and lovingly looking down at me. So what is a young man of my stature to do? What else but say “Shuffle up and deal young man for we will play a game of epic proportions for a game for the most valuable prize known to man.” Now what it that you say? Well of course we were playing for our lives. But of course he had the upper hand because he was already dead. So I pull out a deck of cards and he begins to deal. For chips we used bricks that were laying around the basement. I found about 73 and a half bricks which would equate to about $2 million euros. He of course started with the lower chip stack of only 44 bricks ($234 million yen). Of course I made him have the smaller stack because we were playing for our lives but he was already in the dirt. THE GAME IS ON!!! I limp from the small blind with the mighty 7 3 offsuit and he checks behind in the Big blind. We see a flop of 7 7 7, obviously this is a good sign for me because in the 7th year of my life I had 77 different pairs of shoes, 7 times in 7 months. And of course I had the absolute nuts with quads… right? Well he raises me all in and I take 30 minutes to call (PLAYING FOR MY LIFE HERE!?!?!!!). He slams his hand on the table and shows ACE ****ING SEVEN….. WHAT? HOW CAN THIS BE? I HAVE QUADS ALSO. He beats me and I began to run away from this obvious cheat, I ran for the car because I have my life on the line here. Afternote, once home I looked up this young cardplayer and saw he was the biggest cheat in the state in the 1930’s. His name was Clifford “The three legged sideshow” Willard.Ok now to my buddies stories, this gets good. My first buddy saw he ran into an angel in the swimming pool. He played volleyball with her in the pool, but the odd things was there was no water there the next day. Weird huh? We wondered why he woke up with scrapes and bruises the next day. But I digress, my next buddy ran into the devil with taking a piss in the local woods. The devil was a very strange, or so I was told. The devil asked my young buddy, pal what he was doing pissing on his land. He said sorry bro I gotta piss. So the devil laughed like a hyena while spitting his devil juices into his eyes, which later caused blood to drip from my buddies anus. Weird ****, no lie. My third amigo or companion whichever you prefer, he’s my buddy from back in the day (which was a Wednesday I might add, cool) his name is frank, but what else is weird is that day we took this fateful journey to the wilderness of the brisk cold winds that are in Ellicott city MD, was also a Wednesday. Very eerie from my point of view. So, Frank aka DAT KID aka ill ******* your bro aka that nigga you know aka timdawg, is on the prowl to find some little girl who supposedly haunts this area. So he begins with a long and strenuous hike down some steps that led to the train tracks. In the shadows he saw a little girl waving to him and he chases this little chickenhead down the meanest and worst railroad ever, period. He travels through the underworld and ends up in the town of Ellicott city. He sees the girl on the corner and she signals for him to follow. He maneuvers thoroughly through the crowded and tough streets known as the EC or Ellicott city. He follows her up a hill where she stops and he gos over to talk to this little girl. She says if you can beat me in a series of strenuous evenst you and your buddies can leave my town and have your souls back to keep FOR LIFE. So timdawg, says yo son holla at me if you wanna battle. She replies the obvious answer of you will DIE. The games to be played were chutes and ladders, jump rope, a three mile run, and Russian roulette ( WITH AN UZI, WHICH IS NOT SAFE, DO NO TRY AT HOME.) She said to pick two out of the four and battle to the death. So that nigga you know says “ I choose da chutes and ladders and the jump rope, because your dead you little cheater.” So we play the first match of chutes and ladders and dAT kid whoops dat ***, as he put it , in some chutes and ladders. The pressure is know on the little girl, we will refer to her as lafawnda. So ill *** **** your bro, asks lafawnda to grab the jump rope and the first one to mess up loses. This was an epic battles of skill, wit, and stamina. This battle of epic proportion lasted for nearly 4 ½ hours. Frank aka dat kid, lost in the ropes. This now comes down to the best game of rock, paper, scissors ever played to this day in the history of planet earth. Frank won the best 5/7 series and lafawnda lets timdawg and us keep our souls for the night atleast. WHEW THOUGHT I WAS A GONER FO SHO.We all meet up at 0:700 and go have coffee at the local wawa, and talk about how crazy our nights were. Wow I must say that night was nuts. My personal experience at the Hell house was not a good one, frankly it scared the piss outta me. While driving in my car on the way home I see sirens in my mirror. I stop and he asks if we had just returned from hell house. I said “why yes officer, we did, and we ARE SCARED!!>!>!11!.” At this point in time I heard the most horrific laugh and the cop turned into a miniature version of jesus who told us to never go back there. Wow I was confused at this point. I mean come on…. JESUS, THE MAN WHO SAVED US THE FROM THE DEVIL WOW COOL F’IN STUFF? I said thanks and please forgive me for ever going there and please tell Clifford “ the three legged sideshow” to fall in a grease fire and or step in a beartrap. But jesus said, “ My son for he who is not living cannot step in bear traps or fall into fires, my child follow me as I lead you to the promise land where you can live off of the vines and fruits that grow on my planet in the sky. At this moment……………………………… I woke up………………………. in a cold……………….. ****ing sweat. I tried to remember what happened the night before and if I really went to the hell house. At this point in time, I realized I had done 43 hits of acid and smoked a half pound of methamphetamines three days prior to this experience. Needless to say I ****ing made this all up for real, But I do plan on traveling there sometime in the distant future, because honestly I DON’T EVEN LIVE IN BOSTON!! HAHAHA HOW FUNNY WAS THAT STORY? TRUE FACTS!!!! So I beg of thee to please pass on this story of horrendous tales to all of the little kiddies around this years Halloween alive. And also please tell them if they want the same affect, do as many drugs as I have done and this will happen sometime tonight. ANYMORE HORROR STORIES WANTED? HOLLA @ A PLAYA

[Dirtydutch 8]

Based on your skill with the font sizer and the use of the emoticons, I see no reason to abandon my princibles and read a first post that's more than two sentences.

[gkunit20 1]

Okay, who is this?

[kidpkrJR 0]

too long

[thehidden 0]

people need to stop trying to steal reggiekrays thunder

[timwakefield 68]

Obviously a fake account. OMG OMG SIMPLY AWESOME sounds fishy to me, and the heart seals it.

[ShakeZuma 585]

For REALZ?!

[CrackofmyACE 1]

for some reason I enjoyed this

[ILOVECOOLTHINGS 0]

I am not a fake account which I will prove to you later with the obvious Auto-biography (MUCH SHORTER!!!!). Stay Tuned.I will also be handing out my bangin advice on 44 card omaha later also. Please stay tuned for that. I am very good at hold them and 44 card omaha.

[gkunit20 1]

I am not a fake account which I will prove to you later with the obvious Auto-biography (MUCH SHORTER!!!!). Stay Tuned.I will also be handing out my bangin advice on 44 card omaha later also. Please stay tuned for that. I am very good at hold them and 44 card omaha.

OH well, in THAT case, you CAN'T be a joke account(I really hope I don't need the sw)

[timwakefield 68]

I am not a fake account which I will prove to you later with the obvious Auto-biography (MUCH SHORTER!!!!). Stay Tuned.

Nobody in real life capitalizes AND hyphenates 'autobiography.'

[gkunit20 1]

Something is telling me this is turd.

[tuckermitchell 1]

whoever it is should stop stealing dane cooks jokes and sayings. it is very lame to do so and try to pass them off as your own interesting little musings and quips.just serious

[pockets 0]

whoever it is should stop stealing dane cooks jokes and sayings. it is very lame to do so and try to pass them off as your own interesting little musings and quips.just serious

I can't believe anyone read the original post.

[76clubs 0]

I can't believe anyone read the original post.

I know I didn't.

[tuckermitchell 1]

I know I didn't.

I didn't have to.After one paragraph it was far to obvious that 1. he was making a terrible attempt at making a parody of the kray stories, which for what it's worth, are only okay to begin with and2. he really likes to steal others jokes, especially those of Dane Cook, which were the most obvious to me