The Pizza Boy Diaries

[Dirtydutch 8]

Are you going to create a new blog for this?

Yeah, I'll start one up later in the week. This is really more for my friends than it is for here, and most of them are too lazy to find this thread.

[halcyon1234 0]

Funny thread.I'd say that the number one rule would be to do no harm. In the end, you don't want to deprive someone of a pizza. That's just cruel. =)How about this: When you go out on a run, take two pizza boxes. Cut the bottom out of one of them, and put it inside the actual pizza box, ala-false bottom. When they open the box, they'll think they didn't get a pizza. (bonus points if you put some half-eaten crusts in there). If they don't figure it out, they might even call the pizza place back-- only to be told to actually look in the box. (After all, it's heavy enough for a pizza, right?).If they check the box before paying you, you can have some extra fun with it. Rig the box so that you can open it AND the false bottom at the same time.Customer: (opens box) Hey, there's no pizza in here!you: Let me see. (you open box and lift false bottom at same time) What are you talking about? It's right here! (show customer and close box, resetting the lid)Customer: Oh. I... that's weird. (opens box, but sees false bottom) What the-- it's gone again!You: (look at "empty" box). What the hell are you talking about? There's a pizza RIGHT THERE (point at empty box). Cheese, pepperoni, anchovies. Are you high?

[HangukMiguk 8]

i just realized something.theredpill's getting insulted.

[Dirtydutch 8]

http://thepizzaboydiaries.blogspot.com/No updates yet, but I'll be posting later in the week.

[mrdannyg 274]

Dutch Carlton Witherspoon IVhttp://cgi.ebay.com/ebaymotors/RUSSIAN-MIL...1QQcmdZViewItemhttp://cgi.ebay.com/ebaymotors/Old-Flying-...1QQcmdZViewItem

[tobytobey 0]

Dutch Carlton Witherspoon IVhttp://cgi.ebay.com/ebaymotors/RUSSIAN-MIL...1QQcmdZViewItemhttp://cgi.ebay.com/ebaymotors/Old-Flying-...1QQcmdZViewItem

If we are voting, I pick the Russian goggles.

[mrdannyg 274]

If we are voting, I pick the Russian goggles.

oh, i don't think it's really a choice. those are awesome.

[brvheart 1,752]

Nice pic...I couldnt help but notice that it was in black&white....When did you graduate anyway?I hope the photographer wasnt burned when the gunpowder flash went off....Sorry... I'm an EOJ (equal opp jokester)

In all my yearbooks the only color pictures are of the seniors. Everyone else is B&W.

Short answer; yes.It's just that I'm so indifferent to racial pride that don't really think of it as one way or the other. I think this is becoming a much welcome norm.

I agree that this is happening and that it's a very good thing.

you should go with "The Angry Pizza Boy" for when you get a ridiculously small tip, just keep mumbling things under your breathe like "wow, a whole dollar, now I can buy a can of soda"or give it back and say, "its obvious you need this more than I do" or"you're Canadian?"orwhen a black person gives you a small tip (it will happen) nevermind, I wouldn't say a word, chances are they're packing a heater.

Everything you say is funny.

dude, people aren't supposed to tip at Paneras

Everything.

[mcsoupman 0]

This thread is so funny it will probably be better than the actual thing. Dutch could just keep stringing us along and we wouldn't care because we can all picture how crazy this would be, and EVERYONE of us wishes we could be part of it. Costume IdeasDress as a bum with a shopping cart and all. Pretend you walked it over there.Take a second pizza, then when they open the door, you could either be taking a bite of the pizza or "accidentily" drop it on the ground. Pick it up and put it back like nothing happened.Fake sick and puke in their bushes. Mention something about the bad pepperoni.

[Dirtydutch 8]

I've actually got butterflies.

[theresa113 0]

Delivering pizzas... I really miss that job. Trust me, you will have more to write about the people who actually answer the door than any antic you could come up with.

[eYank 0]

ha good luck manthis seems like it will be hillarious

[Dirtydutch 8]

This is going to end badly, I think. I hope in a funny way, but if I can't it awesome, I'll have wasted a lot of time. I'm not sure how I can even end this. I'm not doing it for more than a couple months.

[kers2 0]

This is going to end badly, I think. I hope in a funny way, but if I can't it awesome, I'll have wasted a lot of time. I'm not sure how I can even end this. I'm not doing it for more than a couple months.

Every time you try to get out the thrill of delivering pizzas will pull you back in

[digitalmonkey 929]

You're gonna be a lifer Dutch.

[Dirtydutch 8]

You're gonna be a lifer Dutch.

Even if I lost all other income, I believe I could maintain my current life-style as a pizza boy. Somehow it would seem a lot more depressing that way.

[digitalmonkey 929]

I'm not sure if you get free pizza at the end of the night, but if you do, go to a random house and act like someone from that house ordered a pizza. Lower the price until they accept it. You can make some decent money on the side.

[Dirtydutch 8]

Day one was pretty uneventful, as expected. I took my mom's Mercedes, which will be my default throughout this project. No one said anything about it until we went on our first run, and my new pizza mentor asked me "how a pizza boy could afford a Mercedes?" I told him I was an up-and-coming rapper, but I spent my advance on "fast cars and fast ladies." I don't know how he took it.The "he" I was referring to was this hippy dude, with whom I did my ride-along, Jy. I asked him a lot of questions, mostly about nailing sexy housewives. He claims he's never been laid on the job, but he's prolly just being modest. I'm not sure if this is common, but we have GPS units, which is kinda' cool, although the Mercedes already has it. I'm not on my own until Thursday.

[Suited_Up 2]

They have to TRAIN you to deliver?I was a delivery guy before this new job, and my training was basically... "Do you know where this is? Ok, go ahead and give it a shot"

[Dirtydutch 8]

They have to TRAIN you to deliver?I was a delivery guy before this new job, and my training was basically... "Do you know where this is? Ok, go ahead and give it a shot"

They can't trust a guy like me alone with the pizzas until they've seen I'm solid.

[pckt10s 0]

Day one was pretty uneventful, as expected. I took my mom's Mercedes, which will be my default throughout this project. No one said anything about it until we went on our first run, and my new pizza mentor asked me "how a pizza boy could afford a Mercedes?" I told him I was an up-and-coming rapper, but I spent my advance on "fast cars and fast ladies." I don't know how he took it.The "he" I was referring to was this hippy dude, with whom I did my ride-along, Jy. I asked him a lot of questions, mostly about nailing sexy housewives. He claims he's never been laid on the job, but he's prolly just being modest. I'm not sure if this is common, but we have GPS units, which is kinda' cool, although the Mercedes already has it. I'm not on my own until Thursday.

got me laughing already... keep up the awkward questions...

[Dirtydutch 8]

I think I'm going to get a cooler of Digiornos, and offer the come in and make them one for half price. It's not delivery...

[pckt10s 0]

I think I'm going to get a cooler of Digiornos, and offer the come in and make them one for half price. It's not delivery...

I'm sure the possibilities are endless with the digiornos...

[Suited_Up 2]

I'm sure the possibilities are Delicious with the digiornos...

FYP

[HangukMiguk 8]

I think I'm going to get a cooler of Digiornos, and offer the come in and make them one for half price. It's not delivery...

you complete me.also, you should tell them double the price of the delivered pizza, so when they get flipped out about the cost, you can offer to make the digiorno for half price.