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I Called In Sick Today


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and after 3 days, he is risen!

If you are paying $20 for a haircut, I imagine people assume you did it yourself anyway.

Pocket change cost me my first and only black girlfriend.   It was in the middle of a roaring poker boom and I was flush in ways most men don't even bother dreaming of. Money, it was like dirt to me

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Since Hank did one, I'll do one:

 

Left Wednesday afternoon and got in at about 5:30 Vegas time. Staying at Luxor. Unpacked and wen to our friends room and had some drinks. Went to BLT Steak for dinner, got there about 8:30. Lady and I played a little slot action and got some cocktail waitress drinks. Went into the restaurant and ordered more drinks. One guy ordered oysters, another got some bacon thing and I got steak tartar for apps. All very good but obviously portions too small for the price but you expect these things. Got a 22 ounce ribeye for main course which was the best steak I done ever had. Had banana cream pie for desert, also the best I ever had. Totall bill for me and the lady was $175ish Lehigh isn't bad for such a good dinner in Vegas. Gambled a little bit more at Luxor and got a few more drinks. Lady hit some shit on the gremlins machine for like 60 bucks and we went to the room, had some average naked time and went to bed since we was exhausted.

 

Woke up and met lady's cousin and we walked over to the T-Mobile arena because they wanted to see the press conferences and weigh ins for the tuf finale I just wanted to see inside and left them there and went to nyny to play blackjack and Pai gow. Lost 50 playing blackjack and won 100 playing Pai gow for about 3 hours. Met back up with them and went back to Luxor. They all played their stuff and I played blackjack. Had an awesome dealer who was hilarious and let me ring the bell every time I tipped him and won about 400. Went to the mirage buffet for dinner with our free myvegas buffets and ate like kings. My favorite buffet in Vegas. My girl follows MMA_roasted on Twitter and got comped vip tickets to his comedy show at the stratosphere. I went and played blackjack while they went to get tickets. Lost like 29 then got texts saying to hurry up. Got up there and everyone was already in and had gotten wristbands for 20 dollar unlimited drinks for the show. I didn't know about any of that so I never bought one but the bartender brought me whatever I wanted for free like I had one anyway. Winner. Hilarious show. Heard that there was a bunch of UFC fighter at top golf so we went there. 2 hour wait to play. Didn't play but girl found out all the fighters were on the top level so her and I snuck up there. She got her picture with cerrone who is her man crush, Luke rockhold, Chris weidman and some dude she like but I never heard of. There was only about 20 of us up there so it was pretty cool. Got a couple good long islands and went back to Luxor. She was wasted and horny from meeting cerrone so we had that good, filthy sex right in the hotel room window.

 

Friday we had free myvegas mgm breakfast buffets and tore that up. Don't remember what we did between that and tuf finale. Went to that and found out it was 14 dollars for a 25 ounce Budweiser. Can't beat that deal. Met some awesome British dude sitting behind us. Hung out with him several times more during the trip. Fights were good. My parlay on it got killed but Joanna was a beast and that was an awesome fight. Went to Diablo for food at about 11:00 since we hadn't eaten since breakfast and had a few margaritas. Ran into our new British friend at Excalibur and talked with him for about 2 hours about everything from politics to culture differences and everything in between. Awesome dude. Called it a night finally about 2:00.

 

Saturday our group had rented a cabana at the Luxor pool. Girl and I gambled a little. I had a $50 free play from myvegas points that I turned into 150. Went to the cabana and started ordering drinks. You could get an initial 32 ounce drink for 22 and refills were like 16. Started with a margarita and refilled with another margarita. Then decided a 32 ounce Long Island was a good idea. Went to the pool to play basketball and me and my buddy wound pup in a 2 on 2 game with 2 white boys who as it turned out were actually division 1 basketball players. We lost 11-4, 11-5 so we held our own I guess. Got a refill of another Long Island. At this post am on 1 full gallon of hard mixed drinks and no food yet. We had a free Luxor buffet and went there. Completely blacked out there other than knowing I for sure ate one tamale. Was told that I said I had to go poop. I do remember waking up from a little nap that I took sitting in the toilet. Went back to the table and the guys were already gone and the girls were wondering where I'd been. I lost them in the walk back to the pool and decided to go to the room. Crashed for 2 hours. Was going back to the pool but ran into my girl coming off the elevator. She was as fcked up as I had been 2 hours prior so I tucked her in for a nap. Went and broke even on some blackjack. Went up to the room about 8:00 to wake her up. Got her going and we went to the m&m shop and then gambled some more til about midnight. Back to the room and went to bed since we had to get up at 4:30 for our 6:45 flight and flew back to beautiful Wisconsin.

 

A lot of fun, probably a boring read. Wish we had another day or two and won a little more. I was about exactly even on gambling but spent quite a bit on food, drinks, etc. but it's Vegas so anytime you come back with money in your wallet it's a success.

 

Fin.

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Oh! And I almost forgot. Mostly for mexi-melt, but our cocktail waitress at our cabana was Effin bangin. Her name was Roxsy. ENORMOUS real knocks according to her. Round, just perfectly jiggly ass. Super nice personality. Even as we descended into absolute drunken stupidity. I made my girl turn around and show her her ass and she agreed that my girl has a great ass. But GD I loved me some Roxsy. We're all very nice guys though and didn't push anything too far even with the alcohol. Me and one of the guys went to a strip club here in Milwaukee once and spent the night complimenting the strippers so much that they all kept calling us the best, nicest guys that they've ever had there. That kind of attitude will not get you stripper ass but he's married and I'm 2 years deep in a relationship so we'd rather make them feel good I guess since we're neutered.

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what's a cabana run? I thought about going to the pool at MC but looking at the layout from a deck above it looked like a lot of the chairs where nowhere near a decent pool view. Combine that with the fact that I'm so white I'm practically translucent and I knew I'd need some shade readily available but would feel jipped if I didn't get to ogle some chicks. pretty much equals cabana.

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So the guys on a poker forum, that went out to Vegas during the WSOP, ended up playing zero poker.

 

 

Sounds like fun all around. I love Vegas and the wife enjoys it as well, but I'm not sure that I'm jonesing to go anytime soon. I have been three times, seen a few shows. Probably wouldn't play a ton of poker because you're out there as a couple. I like couples activities. Don't want to ditch her for 4 hours to play cards. Maybe I need a guys trip out there, or something

 

I love a nice pool and beach these days, plus I hate huge crowds. I'm bout dat chill. And, we are working on saving money for retirement and household remodel projects. So, priorities change, unfortunately.

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I think I could never go to Vegas again and be OK.

 

You've been? Who did you go with? Where did you stay? What did you do? Did you have money or were you broke trippin it? Why didn't you get a hooker?

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Been twice

 

The first time I was with two friends and an acquaintance on a road trip to Phoenix. We were ahead of schedule so we drove to Vegas for the evening. We basically walked the strip and I went and played some poker while they did other stuff. Gambled a little bit. We left the next day.

 

The next time was with seven other dudes and we were out there for four days, including St. Patrick's. I was flush with poker money at the time but I spent all 4 days drinking and gambling. Didn't do any clubs or pools or anything. We stayed at the Imperial Palace (RIP) both times.

 

I did not get a hooker but I should have.

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I'm not sure any hooker would go into the IP

 

Good on you.

 

I'd never done the club thing out there. And only did the Mandalay pool thing, not a pool party.

 

I wouldn't mind playing swim up blackjack, but those table limits gotta be high, right? $50 min at least. Too rich for my blood. I like a $10 table and I can choose to bet more.

 

I think right now I care too much about the money to gamble, and you can't do that

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I still care about the money too much to gamble. CEO was telling me about one of his buddies, a fellow business owner who is worth $20mm, that has nightly $100k blackjack swings. I don't think I could ever do that. I mean, maybe, I don't know, I'll never know what it's like to have $20mm in today's dollars.

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That's how I feel. And the fact that almost every casino is now 5/4 blackjack on the low limit tables and I feel like I heard they've reduced some craps odds, too. Not to mention more watered down drinks.

 

If I was a beautiful and/or rich person than Vegas would probably be more appealing to me.

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I played a lot of poker when I was there. At the bellagio.

 

Lost two real big hands that swung me down 800 instead of up 2000. Not any bad beats just hands that played themselves. I had aces with the ace of spades. A guy raised to 15, I made it 50, he called. Flop is 10 6 3, all spades. He bets, I raise, he shoves, I call. He had 10s. No spade.

 

Other hand I had tens. Same thing, a raise to 15 and I made it 50. Flop was J 7 9 rainbow. Checked to me, I bet 75. He calls. Turn is the 8. He checks, I bet 125. He shoves. I call. He has 8s. Jack on the river.

 

He should have folded that flop I think, but it's not terrible or anything.

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I mean, you have to have AK there like 40% of the time for that to make sense for him. Idk, I guess it's not as bad as I thought. I doubt he did that math though and just assumed you had AK and he had a pair + straight draw because I've found that most people with a pair automatically assume you have AK because there's no way they're not ahead with a pocket pair.

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Yeah he must have thought I had AK, if he's thinking at all. But he's got a pair and a gutter. And the table was pretty loose. I had been playing a lot of hands too, as I usually do. So it's not the worst thing ever.

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Cabana was 350 for the 10 hours the pool was open. Pricey but we split it among the 5 of us. I wasn't technically asked to chip in but I can't spend several hours there without contributing my share. My girl and I love to gamble so we will keep going back to Vegas. As a couple you need to both enjoy gambling and be able to be by yourself at times for it to work. It works well for us. I don't even play poker anymore, although I'd like to again. I love me some blackjack and I've definitely won more than I've lost in my storied career

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I took Mack to the local lake the other day to play fetch and went to an out of the way place because you're not supposed to let dogs off leash but whatever. He'd never been swimming before so when I threw his frisbee he was scared to go get it so I had to wade in with him. That water felt so good. Just the right temp. I could have stayed for hours but you're not supposed to swim outside the roped area and I was very much outside the roped area.

How many leeches?

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