Balloon guy 158 Posted September 19, 2007 Share Posted September 19, 2007 Questions?I'm kinda curious as to what exactly God's defense will be? I didn't do it? Err, I did do it but I can and you can't. Can he ask for a change of venue? I mean really, what's a speedy trial to God?How the fck do you serve and subpoena him? Or her? Or it?What if he claims he's not a resident of this country?I know if I was God's attorny what I'd do.No questions your honor, nope no rebuttal, no witnesses, just the closing statement:Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, who you going to side with? This senator? or the Supreme Being that determines your rivercards for the rest of eternity? I rest my case. Link to post Share on other sites
fighter 4 Posted September 19, 2007 Share Posted September 19, 2007 of course God can't lose, he's got johnny cochran on his side nowI dont think a lawyer has ever gotten into heaven. If the senator was sueing the devil...... Link to post Share on other sites
speedz99 145 Posted September 19, 2007 Share Posted September 19, 2007 its a null issue. the case is going to be dismissed when hinduism is proven to be the worlds only true religion.If that happens there will just be a longer list of defendants. Link to post Share on other sites
ShakeZuma 585 Posted September 19, 2007 Share Posted September 19, 2007 If that happens there will just be a longer list of defendants.yeah but they all have diplomatic immunity Link to post Share on other sites
speedz99 145 Posted September 19, 2007 Share Posted September 19, 2007 yeah but they all have diplomatic immunity I'm not sure what this caption means, but whatever. Link to post Share on other sites
simo_8ball 0 Posted September 19, 2007 Share Posted September 19, 2007 I'm not sure what this caption means, but whatever. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kaffir_(ethnic_slur)In the movie Lethal Weapon 2, South African criminal Arjen 'Aryan' Rudd (played by Joss Ackland) calls detective Murtaugh (Danny Glover) a "kaffir". His partner detective Riggs (Mel Gibson) is also referred to as a "kaffir-Lover" and his right hand man Pieter 'Adolph' Vorstedt (played by Derrick O'Connor) also calls Murtaugh a "kaffir" along with his followers. At the end of the movie when, Riggs and Murtagh kill off the bad guys, Murtagh says they were "de-kaffirnated." Link to post Share on other sites
God 0 Posted September 19, 2007 Share Posted September 19, 2007 2 words: Johnny Cochran...BIAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!! Link to post Share on other sites
dna4ever 2 Posted September 21, 2007 Author Share Posted September 21, 2007 http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2007/09/21/...in3284577.shtml"God" Responds To Lawsuit: No Jurisdiction(AP) A legislator who filed a lawsuit against God has gotten something he might not have expected: a response. One of two court filings from "God" came Wednesday under otherworldly circumstances, according to John Friend, clerk of the Douglas County District Court in Omaha. "This one miraculously appeared on the counter. It just all of a sudden was here - poof!" Friend said. State Sen. Ernie Chambers of Omaha, a Democrat, sued God last week, seeking a permanent injunction against the Almighty for making terroristic threats, inspiring fear and causing "widespread death, destruction and terrorization of millions upon millions of the Earth's inhabitants." Chambers, a self-proclaimed agnostic who often criticizes Christians, said his filing was triggered by a federal lawsuit he considers frivolous. He said he's trying to makes the point that anybody can sue anybody. Not so, says "God." His response argues that the defendant is immune from some earthly laws and the court lacks jurisdiction. It adds that blaming God for human oppression and suffering misses an important point. "I created man and woman with free will and next to the promise of immortal life, free will is My greatest gift to you," according to the response, as read by Friend. There was no contact information on the filing, although St. Michael the Archangel is listed as a witness, Friend said. Brilliant! Link to post Share on other sites
Spademan 94 Posted September 21, 2007 Share Posted September 21, 2007 Not so, says "God." His response argues that the defendant is immune from some earthly laws and the court lacks jurisdiction. It adds that blaming God for human oppression and suffering misses an important point. "I created man and woman with free will and next to the promise of immortal life, free will is My greatest gift to you," according to the response, as read by Friend. Brilliant!Not really.The senator dude already took care of the "court lacks jurisdiction" part with "He can be sued in Douglas County, the legislator claims, because He's everywhere."And free will has been shown over and over to be pathetically inept as defense against "the problem of evil", and certainly does nothing to defend biblegod against the old testament atrocities the fable ascribes him him.Nice attempt at humor, but far short of brilliant. Link to post Share on other sites
CBass1724 1 Posted September 21, 2007 Share Posted September 21, 2007 Link to post Share on other sites
dna4ever 2 Posted September 21, 2007 Author Share Posted September 21, 2007 Not really.The senator dude already took care of the "court lacks jurisdiction" part with "He can be sued in Douglas County, the legislator claims, because He's everywhere."And free will has been shown over and over to be pathetically inept as defense against "the problem of evil", and certainly does nothing to defend biblegod against the old testament atrocities the fable ascribes him him.Nice attempt at humor, but far short of brilliant.The prosecution rests Link to post Share on other sites
Spademan 94 Posted September 21, 2007 Share Posted September 21, 2007 On the 7th day, the prosecution rests.Fix'd. Link to post Share on other sites
chrozzo 19 Posted September 21, 2007 Share Posted September 21, 2007 The prosecution rests Fix'd. Link to post Share on other sites
mtdesmoines 3 Posted September 21, 2007 Share Posted September 21, 2007 I think in order to help God have the best selection possible, we should kill all the lawyers.Very classically done.****God has has been run through the human justice system before, just so you know. Link to post Share on other sites
Spademan 94 Posted September 21, 2007 Share Posted September 21, 2007 God has has been run through the human justice system before, just so you know. Link to post Share on other sites
mtdesmoines 3 Posted September 21, 2007 Share Posted September 21, 2007 I see what you did there. Link to post Share on other sites
ShakeZuma 585 Posted September 21, 2007 Share Posted September 21, 2007 this could be the funniest thing I've ever seen Link to post Share on other sites
chrozzo 19 Posted September 22, 2007 Share Posted September 22, 2007 this could be the funniest thing I've ever seenagreed Link to post Share on other sites
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