Dutch Factor Updated

[Dirtydutch 8]

Global Warming = Sexy TansAs of late, a lot of my blogging attention has been redirected to Friendly John, and of course the fan favorite, Project Lindsey. All that slumming on Myspace has given me new appreciation for blindness. So, I consulted the Boy Scout Handbook for way to achieve this magnificent end, and headed out to the Walgreens to pick up a few supplies. While trying to determine how much Nair I would need for the back of my hands, I saw someone trying to be seen using one of the things in life that I find least desirable or interesting: a cell phone with limited Internet access, e.g.: email (almost as retarded, and almost the same thing, as text messaging). Sweet-- because the only thing more pleasant than receiving nine phone calls on the way home from work telling you what brand of mayonnaise to pick is having the same exchange, but trying to thumb-type it in, with AIM shorthand, while steering with your knees. Kick-*** invention guys, is that what's been holding back the flying car? Anyway, this got me thinking-- everything that you like, fear, or dwell on is probably completely stupid and worthless. I've made a list of these types of things, because I can't think of anything else to fill space.Things That Don't Especially Concern or Interest Me: * "Smart"phones – we covered that * Camera phones – ideal for taking shirtless picture of yourself in the mirror. "Hey, Blair's left-handed, and he must workout!" No, he's just a vane little homo, with no friends. (On a side note, if the picture wasn't taken it a mirror it's even gayer, because it shows that his friends WERE their for this little amateur Playgirl test shoot. Eegh * Mud Wrestling - Mud Wrestling isn't even almost hot. Seriously. * Global Warming – assuming Global Warming is real, I don't give a ****. Every generation gets a little shittier, anyway. At this rate my grand kids will invent a new key board, featuring only A, E, I, O, U, Y, R, H, Z, the exclamation point, and a six-period ellipsis key. If 103 degree summers don't get 'em, open-mouth showering will. * Apocalyptic meteor strike – the apocalypse in general isn't a big concern of mine. In addition to it being an asinine thing of which to be afraid, I'm pretty much immortal. One time when I was eleven I crashed my bicycle down a huge hill. I slid all the way to the bottom. After I stopped sliding, I got up, brushed the dirt off, and realized that I hadn't broken a bone or even skinned a knee. No, instead Denver won the Super Bowl. That's right, every time something happens to me that would harm a mortal, an aging, superstar athlete achieves glory, and I get off without a scratch. It's kinda' weird. * Ghosts – if you're afraid of ghosts, you're probably an *******. The worst are people who believe in ghosts but are also born-again Christians. I think the Bible is pretty clear that people's soles aren't scattered about random *******'s duplexes, so unless the abyss is located directly beneath your kitchenette, that "back massager" must've made its way "under the opposite side of the sink" by one of the other black arts, you loose kooched harpy. Also, even crazy people don't claim they were attack by ghosts-- they just "saw" them. Having ghosts is no worse than having an ill-mannered roommate who leaves the lights on and plays music while you're sleeping. At least ghost music is all ominous and cool-- some even jingle chains an' ****. That would be heli-relaxing. That's it, I'm getting a ghost roommate.

[Royal_Tour 0]

I find it interesting that you constantly create topics.thats all

[Dirtydutch 8]

I find it interesting that you constantly create topics.thats all

Do you find it interesting that I continue to POOP ON YOUR EGGMCMUFFIN?

[Royal_Tour 0]

Do you find it interesting that I continue to POOP ON YOUR EGGMCMUFFIN?

you're infringing on my teams name Poo Poo McMuffins, My lawyer advised me to notify you of this, and the possibilty of penalties.P.S. can u sum up the dutch is on myspace thread for me, looks too long to read now

[Dirtydutch 8]

you're infringing on my teams name Poo Poo McMuffins, My lawyer advised me to notify you of this, and the possibilty of penalties.P.S. can u sum up the dutch is on myspace thread for me, looks too long to read now

Dutch starts a Myspace site. Hillarity ensues. Dutch starts another Myspace site. This time, Dutch is awarded the title: King of the Internet, and rides off into the sunset with Natalie Portman.

[BigDMcGee 3,353]

Sorry to tell ya this dutch, but Portman is a hot chick, and as such will be detained on Tiger island for the near future. I'll be sure to send her your way when she turns 30.

[Dirtydutch 8]

Sorry to tell ya this dutch, but Portman is a hot chick, and as such will be detained on Tiger island for the near future. I'll be sure to send her your way when she turns 30.

I can't go 4 years, 2 months and 13 days without her. I'll see you on the battle field. But you won't see me, because I'm, all stealthy 'an shit.Also, I don't really know her birthday, so I made those numbers up.

[BigDMcGee 3,353]

I can't go 4 years, 2 months and 13 days without her. I'll see you on the battle field. But you won't see me, because I'm, all stealthy 'an shit.Also, I don't really know her birthday, so I made those numbers up.

Good luck stealthing through the tiger grass...

[Dirtydutch 8]

Good luck stealthing through the tiger grass...

All joking aside, I need your opinion, D. Years ago, when Natalie was at Harvard, I went up to pay her a visit-- you know, following her at a distance, calling her, that sorta' thing. Anyway, She got all spooked, and I went home embarrassed. I really need to figure out a way to get her attention. You think shooting Reagan would do it?

[BigDMcGee 3,353]

All joking aside, I need your opinion, D. Years ago, when Natalie was at Harvard, I went up to pay her a visit-- you know, following her at a distance, calling her, that sorta' thing. Anyway, She got all spooked, and I went home embarrassed. I really need to figure out a way to get her attention. You think shooting Reagan would do it?

I suggest a sex change, I think she's a dyke.

[mrdannyg 274]

you're infringing on my teams name Poo Poo McMuffins, My lawyer advised me to notify you of this, and the possibilty of penalties.P.S. can u sum up the dutch is on myspace thread for me, looks too long to read now

a few posts are mine, so if you had any doubts, its worth it.i've actually shown the thread to friends outside FCP, so in a way, i think its the best thread on FCP. and i'm pretty f'ing amazing, so thats a pretty solid recommendation.

[Dirtydutch 8]

I suggest a sex change, I think she's a dyke.

What makes you thing I'm a man? You know, other than the fact that there's no way in hell any woman is as horrible and cruel and conceded and misogynistic and course and what not, as I am?

[BigDMcGee 3,353]

What makes you thing I'm a man? You know, other than the fact that there's no way in hell any woman is as horrible and cruel and conceded and misogynistic and course and what not, as I am?

Well, you're literate, for one thing.

[Dirtydutch 8]

Well, you're literate, for one thing.

One of us had to go there.

[GrinderMJ 0]

i don't think i'm smart enough to figure out why your jokes are funny

[mrdannyg 274]

* Mud Wrestling - Mud Wrestling isn't even almost hot. Seriously.

i don't think i'm smart enough to figure out why your jokes are funny

:worried face:

[nell789 0]

a few posts are mine, so if you had any doubts, its worth it.i've actually shown the thread to friends outside FCP, so in a way, i think its the best thread on FCP. and i'm pretty f'ing amazing, so thats a pretty solid recommendation.

taking the spademan starter course?

[mrdannyg 274]

taking the spademan starter course?

nice, though i did implicitly admit there was a world outside FCP. with turd and spademan (kind of) gone, someone's gotta step up and be the first in there with decent newbie-flames. not me though, though no one could do a more amazing job than me.

[DMBroller 0]

so unless the abyss is located directly beneath your kitchenette, that "back massager" must've made its way "under the opposite side of the sink" by one of the other black arts, you loose kooched harpy.

This is my favorite thing today.

[nell789 0]

nice, though i did implicitly admit there was a world outside FCP. with turd and spademan (kind of) gone, someone's gotta step up and be the first in there with decent newbie-flames. not me though, though no one could do a more amazing job than me.

I was referring more to your arrogance, seems to have been stepped up a bit lately.I agree with the newbie flaming part, FCP has gotten way too soft. We need to start some sort of group that dedicates time to flaming newer posters.

[BigDMcGee 3,353]

I used to flame noobs all the time... man, i should dig up this one thread, where i ripped on Iowa's finest for 5 pages solid, then I went afk for several hours, and several more pages of IF ripping by others had insued.. i think the topic of the thread was gambling in north caralona or something.. lol

[custom36 4]

Dutch, have I ever told you you're my hero?

[Dirtydutch 8]

Dutch, have I ever told you you're my hero?

No, but I think that might just make it in my next sig change.And McGee, I believe this is what you were looking for. Nice work, but I like K-Dawg work best.

[BobHope 6]

No, but I think that might just make it in my next sig change.And McGee, I believe this is what you were looking for. Nice work, but I like K-Dawg work best.

Thanks... for the memories.

[Suited_Up 2]

I used to flame noobs all the time... man, i should dig up this one thread, where i ripped on Iowa's finest for 5 pages solid, then I went afk for several hours, and several more pages of IF ripping by others had insued.. i think the topic of the thread was gambling in north caralona or something.. lol

Yeah... it's the one Dutch just posted.I had just dug that up for the worst poster thread a few days back.