Room Mates Suck

[Dirtydutch 8]

As many of you know, I’m a dedicated amateur legislator. There are a lot of problems with our country, and every one of them can be fixed with a crazy new law. In the last few weeks I’ve come up with a crazy new law to fix every problem ever. But the most needed, most important new law of all will take care two of the most emotionally devastating problems that I’ve ever encountered. Under this law, the following offences will be punished, without trial, by death: - Scooping disproportionate amount of certain flavors from a carton of Neapolitan ice cream -Using more than one icing packet for a single Toaster StrudelThe latter, in particular, should be treated as high treason, and all offenders should be subjected to unmentionable forms of sodomy.

[allinbluff35 0]

the disproportionate scoopage of ice cream annoys me greatly, i agree.i've never had a toaster strudel before, so i can't comment on that.

[pckt10s 0]

how about:-leaving drops of milk or whatever beverage in a carton and putting it back in the fridge...

[Dirtydutch 8]

how about:-leaving drops of milk or whatever beverage in a carton and putting it back in the fridge...

I do that.

[pckt10s 0]

I do that.

well don't... j/k... I used to do it too... now I make sure there's enough for one more serving or finish it off...

[chrozzo 19]

i am my own roomate, i can walk around naked, play poker naked, leav the door open when i go bathroom and do basically do whatever i want

[Mike Matusow 0]

i am my own roomate, i can walk around naked, play poker naked, leav the door open when i go bathroom and do basically do whatever i want

Big deal, I won 1 million dollars. . .MM

[chrozzo 19]

Big deal, I won 1 million dollars. . .MM

i ran out of coke, do you still have that stash i gave you to hold for me?

[pckt10s 0]

"chi chi... chi chi get the yeyo"

[ajs510 122]

Annoying things my roommates have done over the years (I've rented out parts of my house to various people for the last 7 years or so):Left the front door standing wide open all night while they were passed out drunk on the couch. In February. In Rochester. Paid their rent in singles. The only reason it was singles? The renter couldn't find a bank willing to sell $300 worth of pennies. Gotten arrested in my backyard for attempted rape (charges thrown out).Bled all over the couches and floor after a disagreement and subsequent fight about (ironically) ice cream. Thrown beer bottles through at least 4 windows. Set the kitchen on fire, rather than dealing with the situation appropriately (PUT IT OUT YOU FAT ******!), came running to get me to deal with it. Left my dog outside for a weekend after he got sprayed by a skunk, rather than giving him a bath so he could come back in the house. I wasn't home. I wasn't happy either. Invited a random coke dealer back to the house with the full intention of rolling him for whatever money and/or drugs he may have had on him. Luckily I was there at the time. Ran out of dishwasher detergent, decided that Soft Scrub was the same thing and used that instead. Bubbles. Lots of them. Everywhere. I'll add more if I can think of any, these are the lowlights though :)It's amazing that I haven't killed and quietly buried anyone yet.

[dms26 3]

It's amazing that I haven't killed and quietly buried anyone yet.

how do we know you haven't?

[ajs510 122]

how do we know you haven't?

Shush you...

[dEv~ 19]

i am my own roomate, i can walk around naked, play poker naked, leav the door open when i go bathroom and do basically do whatever i want

i heard it's pretty much the same if you're Turd Ferguson's roommate.

[Dirtydutch 8]

ajs510, if any of those are true, it's awesome. I would rather have all of those things happen, though, than have some d1ckless little sh1t fuc k with my Toaster Strudels.

[JBradburn6 0]

i heard it's pretty much the same if you're Turd Ferguson's roommate.

Replace "can" with "have to" and you got it. Greatest year of my life living with Turd...

[ajs510 122]

ajs510, if any of those are true, it's awesome. I would rather have all of those things happen, though, than have some d1ckless little sh1t fuc k with my Toaster Strudels.

Every word actually happened. My roommates can mess with Toaster Struedels all they want, but if they touch my Pop Tarts I'll feed them to the pigs.

[dEv~ 19]

Every word actually happened. My roommates can mess with Toaster Struedels all they want, but if they touch my Pop Tarts I'll feed them to the pigs.

Now someone is finally making some sense.

[CrackofmyACE 1]

i am my own roomate, i can walk around naked, play poker naked, leav the door open when i go bathroom and do basically do whatever i want

This is why I bought a 1 bedroom condo a few months ago. F*ck roommates.I had roommates in college that were fricken slobs... aside from not cleaning (ever) they would throw food in the garbage to rot when we had a working garbage disposal in our sink. Then they'd never take the trash out so our place smelled like a dumpster. I refused to take out the trash every fricken time, so in protest I would put the full trash bags in front of the exit before I went to bed so their only option would be to either move the bag upon exit or take it with them. The results of that experiment varied depending on the severity of the odor coming from the bag. I had this one roommate who would eat tuna every single day and never wash out the can before he tossed it in the garbage... I told him a dozen times that was the reason our place stank like a Mary Jane's rotten crotch but it never sank in. God help these people.

[chrozzo 19]

I had this one roommate who would eat tuna every single day and never wash out the can before he tossed it in the garbage... I told him a dozen times that was the reason our place stank like a Mary Jane's rotten crotch but it never sank in. God help these people.

yeow man, thats horrible...tuna sux anyways, but that funky smell lingers bad!

[MisterB 2]

-When you bring home a 12-pack of coke and only get to drink one and all of the sudden theres 11 empty cans and noone seems to have any idea who drank them and refuse to replace them...-Pissing on the seat...it goes up for a reason-Feeling a need to bring down the xbox to play on the living room tv at a critical moment in (x) -insert any show here--leaving plates with food on them next to the sink which has the trash can underneath-The thing with the toaster strudel is so true...as well as leaving the milk with only a couple drops in it-Standard stuff

[gkunit20 1]

This is why I bought a 1 bedroom condo a few months ago. F*ck roommates.I had roommates in college that were fricken slobs... aside from not cleaning (ever) they would throw food in the garbage to rot when we had a working garbage disposal in our sink. Then they'd never take the trash out so our place smelled like a dumpster. I refused to take out the trash every fricken time, so in protest I would put the full trash bags in front of the exit before I went to bed so their only option would be to either move the bag upon exit or take it with them. The results of that experiment varied depending on the severity of the odor coming from the bag. I had this one roommate who would eat tuna every single day and never wash out the can before he tossed it in the garbage... I told him a dozen times that was the reason our place stank like a Mary Jane's rotten crotch but it never sank in. God help these people.

Geez, I can see and smell that and it makes me want to throw up. Still living at home rules.

[InsanityCubed 0]

Rommate cooking with a Foreman in his room.... at 5AM. This roommate happens to work in a kitchen. Yet he seems surprised when the smoke detector goes off twice.