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pandemonic (Vernon)try reading this thread without laughing...you cant http://forumserver.twoplustwo.com/29/news-...ys-room-557714/
didn't even crack a smilethen
The complete military history of France --- Gallic Wars- Lost. In a war whose ending foreshadows the next 2000 years of French history, France is conquered by of all things, an Italian. [Or at ths time in history, a Roman -ed.]- Hundred Years War- Mostly lost, saved at last by female schizophrenic who inadvertently creates The First Rule of French Warfare; "France's armies are victorious only when not led by a Frenchman." Sainted.- Italian Wars- Lost. France becomes the first and only country to ever lose two wars when fighting Italians.- Wars of Religion- France goes 0-5-4 against the Huguenots- Thirty Years War- France is technically not a participant, but manages to get invaded anyway. Claims a tie on the basis that eventually the other participants started ignoring her.- War of Revolution- Tied. Frenchmen take to wearing red flowerpots as chapeaux.- The Dutch War- Tied- War of the Augsburg League/King William's War/French and Indian War- Lost, but claimed as a tie. Three ties in a row induces deluded Frogophiles the world over to label the period as the height of French military power.- War of the Spanish Succession- Lost. The War also gave the French their first taste of a Marlborough, which they have loved every since.- American Revolution- In a move that will become quite familiar to future Americans, France claims a win even though the English colonists saw far more action. This is later known as "de Gaulle Syndrome", and leads to the Second Rule of French Warfare; "France only wins when America does most of the fighting."- French Revolution- Won, primarily due the fact that the opponent was also French.- The Napoleonic Wars- Lost. Temporary victories (remember the First Rule!) due to leadership of a Corsican, who ended up being no match for a British footwear designer.- The Franco-Prussian War- Lost. Germany first plays the role of drunk Frat boy to France's ugly girl home alone on a Saturday night.- World War I- Tied and on the way to losing, France is saved by the United States [Entering the war late -ed.]. Thousands of French women find out what it's like to not only sleep with a winner, but one who doesn't call her "Fraulein." Sadly, widespread use of condoms by American forces forestalls any improvement in the French bloodline.- World War II- Lost. Conquered French liberated by the United States and Britain just as they finish learning the Horst Wessel Song.- War in Indochina- Lost. French forces plead sickness; take to bed with the Dien Bien Flu- Algerian Rebellion- Lost. Loss marks the first defeat of a western army by a Non-Turkic Muslim force since the Crusades, and produces the First Rule of Muslim Warfare; "We can always beat the French." This rule is identical to the First Rules of the Italians, Russians, Germans, English, Dutch, Spanish, Vietnamese and Esquimaux.- War on Terrorism- France, keeping in mind its recent history, surrenders to Germans and Muslims just to be safe. Attempts to surrender to Vietnamese ambassador fail after he takes refuge in a McDonald's.
laughed for like 10 minutes
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May I haz one?Something entertaining I saw last night was a 'Washington Mutual' building, except part of the sign was burnt out and it sad 'Was Mutual'I loled. Did you?

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Pickup line: First, I'd like to kiss you passionately on the lips, then, I'll move up to your belly button.Mulchick (Auckland)
i asked a girl if i could buy her a drink. she said "i have a boyfriend."i replied, "i have a goldfish."she says, "what?"i said, "oh im sorry, i thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter."glglgl to your horses
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i asked a girl if i could buy her a drink. she said "i have a boyfriend."i replied, "i have a goldfish."she says, "what?"i said, "oh im sorry, i thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter."glglgl to your horses
YOU ARE MY NEW FAVORITE PERSON
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i asked a girl if i could buy her a drink. she said "i have a boyfriend."i replied, "i have a goldfish."she says, "what?"i said, "oh im sorry, i thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter."glglgl to your horses
:club: How about: That's a nice shirt. Can I try it on after we have sex?
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i asked a girl if i could buy her a drink. she said "i have a boyfriend."i replied, "i have a goldfish."she says, "what?"i said, "oh im sorry, i thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter."glglgl to your horses
:club:
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