scram 1 Posted September 3, 2007 Share Posted September 3, 2007 Have you ever played against people so bad that you didn't even have to look at your cards?Two nights ago I got dragged to this retarded NLHE bar tournament by a couple of guys I know who suck at poker. I was supposed to be the 'ringer' (which, compared to these idiots, I definitely was)Anyway, by mid tourney, there was a stretch of about 20 hands where I wasn't even looking at my cards anymore. The play of the competitors was so transparent- even the "good" players were so ABC that taking down pots was simply a matter of feeling like it and doing it, rather than needing the right hand. I can't even count how many times I check raised with absolutely nothing and took down multi way pots. When I got near the bubble (still pretty early on in relation to the blinds), I started making it 5X the BB to go, every hand, completely in the dark. If I got a caller and the flop came down raggy, instant 3/4 or full pot sized bet without a second thought... Fold, fold, fold, fold. One time, the guy C/R'd me all in and I tossed, but I had picked up so much free money that it didn't mean crap.Me and some butch lesbian HU at the final table. I keep pounding and pounding, a few 2nd bullets, one big (and reckless, in hindsight) third bullet, she buckles every single time... She's feeling desperate. Dealer deals, she gets a real serious look on her face when she looks at her hand. If her spiked diesel-dyke lesbian hair wasn't already glued upright, it probably would've been standing up on it's own accord. I figured aces or kings. She slowly and carefully completes her small blind. I threw my cards into the muck and tossed her my big blind without even taking a flop. "I don't want to play this hand. You win"She goes nuts, turns over her aces, appeals to the dealer, then the bar guy, insisting that I what I did was wrong and that I have to forfeit. She was so shook up and filled with bitter lesbian man-hatred rage that finishing her off was pretty easy.TID, here's what I wonPimpest pimpy pimp mack daddy grill ever. I bought $200 worth of wholesale meat and I'm having this huge barbecue next week and I don't even have any friends. Me and the dog are going to be SO obese once this is done and over with... Next week they're giving away a new oak dining room set, so if anyone in FL needs a free dining room set, let me know. Link to post Share on other sites
VernonME 0 Posted September 3, 2007 Share Posted September 3, 2007 Haha, dude, your great! Nice grill, find some friends asap for that bbq, or for life in general Link to post Share on other sites
BeaverStyle 1 Posted September 3, 2007 Share Posted September 3, 2007 Wow. I would have at least seen the flop and tried to catch up. But wow, can't say I've ever done something like that. Nice grill. Poker is +eb (+expected barbecue.) Link to post Share on other sites
gibler321 1 Posted September 3, 2007 Share Posted September 3, 2007 Me and some butch lesbian HU at the final table. I keep pounding and poundinglol you pounded a butch lesbowhere in fl Link to post Share on other sites
Freddec 0 Posted September 3, 2007 Share Posted September 3, 2007 funny read........pounding butch lesbians must have been a thrill............nice grill by the way Link to post Share on other sites
Veener Schnitz 0 Posted September 3, 2007 Share Posted September 3, 2007 LOL good story and nice win! Link to post Share on other sites
Incubus77546 0 Posted September 3, 2007 Share Posted September 3, 2007 Funniest thing poker related I've read in awhile now. Also congrats on the win, and the grill.But seriously before I opened this thread I thought you were gonna be talking about the grills like lilholdem wears! Link to post Share on other sites
chgocubs99 0 Posted September 3, 2007 Share Posted September 3, 2007 Pimpest pimpy pimp mack daddy grill ever. I bought $200 worth of wholesale meat and I'm having this huge barbecue next week and I don't even have any friends. LOL Link to post Share on other sites
Bearw8 0 Posted September 3, 2007 Share Posted September 3, 2007 Pimpest pimpy pimp mack daddy grill ever. I bought $200 worth of wholesale meat and I'm having this huge barbecue next week and I don't even have any friends. I live in FL, and im hungry. Link to post Share on other sites
scram 1 Posted September 3, 2007 Author Share Posted September 3, 2007 If I wasn't so deeply anti-social, I'd definitely invite you over.I don't even know WTF I'm going to do with all this meat.I have this industrial sized package of steaks that's the size of my leg.Racks of ribs, lamb chops, fresh ground lean burgers... I'm going to the store tonight to pick up some packages of Vienna and Nathans all beef hot dogs.I figure I'll cook it all up, lay it out on a table nicely arranged and make some sort of PETA / PWNED picture. Link to post Share on other sites
Bearw8 0 Posted September 3, 2007 Share Posted September 3, 2007 If I wasn't so deeply anti-social, I'd definitely invite you over.I don't even know WTF I'm going to do with all this meat.I have this industrial sized package of steaks that's the size of my leg.Racks of ribs, lamb chops, fresh ground lean burgers... I'm going to the store tonight to pick up some packages of Vienna and Nathans all beef hot dogs.I figure I'll cook it all up, lay it out on a table nicely arranged and make some sort of PETA / PWNED picture.Where the hell can you find vienna beef hot dogs down here? I haven't seen them since I moved from Chicago! Link to post Share on other sites
chgocubs99 0 Posted September 3, 2007 Share Posted September 3, 2007 Where the hell can you find vienna beef hot dogs down here? I haven't seen them since I moved from Chicago!Move from Chicago, why would you do such a thing. Link to post Share on other sites
Bearw8 0 Posted September 3, 2007 Share Posted September 3, 2007 Move from Chicago, why would you do such a thing.Tell me about it....After I took down the 55k a couple weeks ago (day after my b-day) I decided to give myself a present and go see 3 Cubs games. We took over 1st place and I saw the blue flag go to the top while I was there....I wanna move back at some point, I had a hell of a time. Link to post Share on other sites
theinvestor 0 Posted September 3, 2007 Share Posted September 3, 2007 Tell me about it....After I took down the 55k a couple weeks ago (day after my b-day) I decided to give myself a present and go see 3 Cubs games. We took over 1st place and I saw the blue flag go to the top while I was there....I wanna move back at some point, I had a hell of a time.obvious brag post Link to post Share on other sites
James D 0 Posted September 3, 2007 Share Posted September 3, 2007 If I wasn't so deeply anti-social, I'd definitely invite you over.I don't even know WTF I'm going to do with all this meat.I have this industrial sized package of steaks that's the size of my leg.Racks of ribs, lamb chops, fresh ground lean burgers... I'm going to the store tonight to pick up some packages of Vienna and Nathans all beef hot dogs.I figure I'll cook it all up, lay it out on a table nicely arranged and make some sort of PETA / PWNED picture.Too much food... too much food.This can only end in disaster. Link to post Share on other sites
scram 1 Posted September 3, 2007 Author Share Posted September 3, 2007 Where the hell can you find vienna beef hot dogs down here? I haven't seen them since I moved from Chicago!I don't know. I haven't ever tried to buy them in any place other than Chicago.They don't have them in FL? It's going to be a big, gay letdown if the only hot dogs at my one man barbecue party are stupid Nathans. Link to post Share on other sites
chgocubs99 0 Posted September 3, 2007 Share Posted September 3, 2007 I don't know. I haven't ever tried to buy them in any place other than Chicago.They don't have them in FL? It's going to be a big, gay letdown if the only hot dogs at my one man barbecue party are stupid Nathans. Another Chicago defect to Florida? What's YOUR story? Link to post Share on other sites
SuitedAces21 2,722 Posted September 3, 2007 Share Posted September 3, 2007 Scrammy, are we friends now? Im not sure. Would it help if I told you I find you immensely attractive? Link to post Share on other sites
AAsnake88 0 Posted September 3, 2007 Share Posted September 3, 2007 Get the Hebrew National 1/4 pounders. I generally don't like hot dogs but I've been eating these far too often lately.Oh, and nice score! Link to post Share on other sites
Royal_Tour 0 Posted September 4, 2007 Share Posted September 4, 2007 Not trying to bring down your victory, only putting down your prizeworst grill ever.weber is complete crap when it comes to grills.Trust me, I know grills. and weber is like the chevy cavalier of BBQ's Link to post Share on other sites
grocery_mony 8 Posted September 4, 2007 Share Posted September 4, 2007 I read the title wrong, i thought you "won a girl" in a tourney. so needless to say this thread didnt deliver for me. Link to post Share on other sites
scram 1 Posted September 4, 2007 Author Share Posted September 4, 2007 Not trying to bring down your victory, only putting down your prizeworst grill ever.weber is complete crap when it comes to grills.Trust me, I know grills. and weber is like the chevy cavalier of BBQ'sI know absolutely nothing about Grills; in light of this new information, I still maintain this is the best grill ever, even if there are other grills that purport themselves to be functionally superior. When compared to *this* grill, they are lesser no matter how much better they really are. Link to post Share on other sites
Balloon guy 158 Posted September 4, 2007 Share Posted September 4, 2007 I know absolutely nothing about Grills; in light of this new information, I still maintain this is the best grill ever, even if there are other grills that purport themselves to be functionally superior. When compared to *this* grill, they are lesser no matter how much better they really are.I got a Weber for my wedding from my parents, it lasted 12+ years.I bought an Austrailian Beef Eater with a custom install blah blah blah $4500 set up. Not half the bbq the Weber was.You got a good one, and the tears of a lesbian may make the hot dogs a little, I don't know...sweeter Link to post Share on other sites
theinvestor 0 Posted September 4, 2007 Share Posted September 4, 2007 I got a Weber for my wedding from my parents, it lasted 12+ years.I bought an Austrailian Beef Eater with a custom install blah blah blah $4500 set up. Not half the bbq the Weber was.You got a good one, and the tears of a lesbian may make the hot dogs a little, I don't know...sweeterMy Weber that I grilled on tonight is almost 12 years old. My parents have used the same one for 23. Link to post Share on other sites
Balloon guy 158 Posted September 4, 2007 Share Posted September 4, 2007 I got a Weber for my wedding from my parents, it lasted 12+ years. My Weber that I grilled on tonight is almost 12 years old.Am I you? Link to post Share on other sites
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