I Called In Sick Today

[Ron_Mexico 4,219]

but you gotta try.

 

 

Who wrote this?

[InternetExplorer 2,609]

just judging by his lyrics, he seems like he'd be one of the best at handling instant celebrity-hood. that shit would absolutely destroy me. I have trouble keeping my composure in the face of moderate success.

[InternetExplorer 2,609]

Who wrote this?

guy that desperately wants to screw over the VP who has deemed it necessary to keep his most valuable employee in an entry level spot for as long as possible.

 

when I say most valuable, I mean like, some kind of lower upper tier player who is on a ridiculous value contract. Nathan Horton for $1mm/year. I'm not the best outright.

[ShakeZuma 585]

She isnt on the pill

 

why? does she think it's 1943?

 

Historically the hard part has been finding an opening and getting the face to face, which usually takes a couple days at least.

 

yeah, that pretty much your experience too strat?

[InternetExplorer 2,609]

yeah, that pretty much your experience too strat?

my experience is that it's really hard not to be a worthless stupid ****ing piece of shit that should get out of your office immediately

[Ron_Mexico 4,219]

 

 

why? does she think it's 1943?

 

We've covered this. We're both over 40. It's not like I'm working with Lochte and Phelps in my balls

[speedz99 145]

Let's be honest, Ron doesn't really care what is down there when he's doing work.

Also, I'm not totally sure which discussion this post is supposed to go with.

 

Pretty sure you could follow any of Ron's posts over the past howevermany years with that and be ok.

 

Why....do you know this.

 

Is it unusual for me to know that? Anyone else?

[Ron_Mexico 4,219]

Just gonna mosey in and toss daggers my way, huh Doc Hollywood for yorkie-poos

[InternetExplorer 2,609]

Is it unusual for me to know that? Anyone else?

should be common knowledge, even if you never talk about these things with your partner. even just occasionally having laundry duty... you know, I'm not sure I want to talk about this anymore.

[ShakeZuma 585]

but I mean you pull out because she isn't on the pill. if you're sure that your swimmers aren't good then don't pull out. if you think there's a chance they can make it then she should be on the pill so you don't have to pull out. jesus, I can't even believe this discussion is happening. there's nobody else that thinks pulling out feels the same, right? ron I just don't know about you sometimes.

[Tiltinagain 973]

He is pretty full of himself that guy. Acting like he knows about vaginal seepage and all.

[YonYonson 156]

Once I get back in there I'm never pulling out.

[Ron_Mexico 4,219]

but I mean you pull out because she isn't on the pill. if you're sure that your swimmers aren't good then don't pull out. if you think there's a chance they can make it then she should be on the pill so you don't have to pull out. jesus, I can't even believe this discussion is happening. there's nobody else that thinks pulling out feels the same, right? ron I just don't know about you sometimes.

 

It wouldn't be the end of the world if a kid was created, I guess is the point, but I'm not gonna go out of my way to try.

 

And some women don't like the pill. Maybe all the whores you date need it because they're as fertile as Iowa soil. Or some place with good soil. I'm sure brv or napa will chime in about the soil quality or some shit.

 

My buddy is married, has two kids and has to wear condoms to fck his wife. That seems awful. Wouldn't a pull out be better there?

 

Whatever, I don't know why that's been my move. I like to see my finished product? I was raised on porn from age 13? I'm damaged goods? Where's Hank and TG when I need them? Real men.

 

Strat would pull out but he needs to leave the room to do it.

[speedz99 145]

should be common knowledge, even if you never talk about these things with your partner. even just occasionally having laundry duty... you know, I'm not sure I want to talk about this anymore.

 

I'm not sure I want you to either.

 

but I mean you pull out because she isn't on the pill. if you're sure that your swimmers aren't good then don't pull out. if you think there's a chance they can make it then she should be on the pill so you don't have to pull out. jesus, I can't even believe this discussion is happening. there's nobody else that thinks pulling out feels the same, right? ron I just don't know about you sometimes.

 

I mean, I understand the enjoyment of a porn-style finish, but not every time.

[iTommyGavin81 288]

I either wear a condom or plant my seed inside of the pill takers or iud wearers. Haha I never wear a condom. My ex wife had the mirena as does the new lady. All the others in between were on the pill. I think. I guess ill know for sure within the next year. Once I'm going I don't have any interest in stopping and pulling out. I can keep going for a few minutes after completion so if I haven't quite finished her off this is valuable. I feel like once you pull out its end game.

[speedz99 145]

My buddy is married, has two kids and has to wear condoms to fck his wife. That seems awful. Wouldn't a pull out be better there?

 

Not if having a third kid would destroy what's left of his soul

 

Just gonna mosey in and toss daggers my way, huh Doc Hollywood for yorkie-poos

 

Hey man, I meant that as a compliment. Your sexual...can't find the word...not "prowess"...not "liberation"...shit, I don't know. You're not afraid to get dirty and I like it.

 

Also, for the record, at least 50% of my cases, probably 60-65%, are much closer to Grady than Hollywood.

[hank213 1,823]

 

my two best qualities (personality and manbits) are pretty much hidden completely from the opposite sex in every interaction I have with them.

 

but they don't have to be I think is kinda Ron's point.

 

let "you" out of the box man. magnify. go big enough to appear own the movie screen.

 

and if showing them your dick doesn't work, win the bitches over with your sardonic wit.

[Theraflu 1,035]

Strat, has this Stanley Cup Final been enjoyable for you? I don't know if you hate one or both teams, I just meant as a hockey fan.

[InternetExplorer 2,609]

just based on what I've seen/heard, I thought chicago would win easily. so yeah, pleasantly surprised, don't especially dislike either team. I haven't watched any hockey this year... I'm pretty much not a fan anymore. but I've got this keeper league, so I have to keep going.

 

the only teams I actively dislike are the canadian ones outside of edmonton/calgary. every other canadian franchise can S a D for various reasons. the habs wouldn't be so bad except for all the goddamn idiots that they make happy by winning games. GOD I hate people from montreal.

[InternetExplorer 2,609]

I picked nathan horton as my example because he was relatively noteworthy in both florida and boston. genius tier FCP posting.

[Tiltinagain 973]

Not if having a third kid would destroy what's left of his soul

 

 

I think it would destroy my soul more to have to buy and wear condoms to have sex with my wife. Luckily my wife hates condoms so within a couple weeks of when we moved in together she got on the pill. She got fixed after the last kid so even better.

[JubilantLankyLad 1,957]

LG and I are still friends despite her being a completely unreasonable bitch.

 

haha, just kidding.

You're not really friends?

 

I have heard that it helps with avoiding STDs, but I mean, wear a goddamn rubber? why do we have to bring out the knives and risk a lifetime of pain? not that I have a botched circumcision but I have seen some painful looking shit.

I missed the earlier post about being cut so I thought this was a post about how you're so big you need to cut the rubber off once you're done, and how risky that is. I mean, I still think that's true, but I no longer think you're bragging about it.

 

When I sold cars I used to tell people you screw the owners wife on the hood of car in the show room floor and not get fired if you sold enough cars.

 

One time I had just moved to a Nissan dealer my previous manager recruited me to. Over the last week of the month and the first 2 1/2 weeks of the next month I was on a crazy roll. Seemed everyone I talked to bought a car. Even had 2 different times where a customer bought 2 cars during the same deal. Went 14 days in a row selling a car at one point. Well, then came a family camping/skiiing trip that had been planned for months. I really wanted to go but figured since I just started they wouldn't let me take the time off.

 

So, of course, I went without telling them I'd be gone for a week. The following Monday I showed up for my shift like nothing happened. I got a bit of an ass chewing from the General Sales Manager then he told me to go sell some cars because another salesman was within a car and a half of catching me for salesman of the month.

 

I hung on for salesman of the month but never again had a run even close to that. Manager chewed my ass many more times for "going on a runner when you were on a roll like that". Good times.

Better to ask for forgiveness than permission.

 

So, the old girlfriend who was into other girls used to flirt with this younger hot blonde (by younger I mean 30ish, she was about 40) at the tanning bed place, mostly to make her uncomfortable. You know, she'd say things like, "I'll be in her mastubating if you want to join in". She used to tell me about it, mostly to get me hot I suppose. And then low and behold I get a call at work and she says, "Hurry home tonight, have I got a surprise for you!!!".

Look at uncle Randy, already practising his "tell me about a time that you had to go above and beyond to satisfy your customer" stories.

[Sickinfo2 291]

what am I supposed to be fuming over?

 

 

 

It just a running joke, sir...

 

 

 

I strive to stay neutral on all serious fronts but reserve the right to poke fun at any sickie who has been successfully teased in the past for the same situation. Ive been waiting for the perfect basement jab for a while now. Shake get the most of my shit due to the fact he makes fun of himself more than I could. Mex is next cause at heart he knows hes just as much of a buffoon as I am. Rando is way the **** out there as well... same deal. Like I may have said previously, in real life I can size up someone within seconds and either make an insulting remark or shake their hand and merely say hello. Others I would insult knowing there would be a problem just to stir up trouble. Those guys have a chip on their shoulders and deserve to be ****ed with. Tough for me to do in the world of ones and zeros

 

 

 

Since I haven't staggered across one of the last category on the "net" so far...at least in here anyway.... its safe to conclude I mean no harm in anything I comment about at all....

 

 

 

Mainly because its no fun. In person I can see them get all upset and out of sorts. Nothing is finer than slapping a guy across the face with an insult who actually deserves it and watch the squirm for a rebuttal. The best is when a jerk is abusing their girlfriend/wife in front of strangers and its apparent she takes the abuse on a regular basis. Out of all the "incidents" in bars or casinos Ive been in over the years that is the overwhelming reason for them. Got a stalker or five for it from the gals and been interviewed by the authorities in the past, but always have had several "backers" in the form of bystanders or fellow culprits on the scene that vouch I was "in the right"

 

 

 

Man... inhaling twok fumes and downing sours really have me spilling my guts these days...

 

 

 

Im sure the adderall, xanax, and large doses of steroids have little to nothing to do with it

 

 

 

 

 

People usually throw implements in, which can cost a few hundred fit a box scraper up to 5k for a tiller or flare mower.

 

Fords are shit. New Hollands are still Fords but easier to flip. Think we may have bought one Case before.

 

The funniest thing is watching a recently retired teacher who just bought 3 acres and who wants to garden, climb up and down on different rigs asking his wife which one he looks the best on.

 

 

 

Yep... brush hogs are by far the moneymakers around here. At one point I had four five footers that I traded for. The older fords with the tubular frame are money around here. Especially if the sheetmetal is rot-free. You can tell if someone owned it that knew how to use it if the rear wheel was missing. Nobody that can use the three point lift in rocky country leaves them on within minutes of bringing it home...

 

 

 

In the larger sized market, the five eighties and the like, the fords, new hollands, and case are the same tractor now. At least a couple years ago they were. All owned by fiat. Owns ferrari. Anyway, a buddy bought a new holland "LL" which is the same as a five eighty case with a mulit angle box blade on the ass instead of a backhoe. It was exactly like my L in construction except it was yellow. Sounded the same so I imagine it had the same engine as well

 

 

 

Speaking of fiats, I was fueling up a truck yesterday when I spied a hippie looking gal gassing one up one of their new vehicles beside me. Dressed in tight shorts with a ripped up low cut top barely covering tip worthy boobs. Small round purple specs on. Wild child as I call em. Anyway, I peeked over and quizzed her if the rig was fun to drive. Smiled back and reported it sure the hell was. Was just about to request a test drive when the wife rolled the window down and told me to hurry up. Damn cockblocker...

 

 

 

...and in the future you need a variety of hats to offer as a deal maker. Bring a mirror as well. Get out there and sell that shit, son

 

 

 

what's the cost on transporting one of those things beans? seems like most on the trader sites are all over the country. and even if I found one moderately locally I'm sure it'd take a little transporting. they go like a regular truckload of freight or is it more to it?

 

and if I bought one of those, well then I'd have to buy a dump truck too obviously. hell maybe I should just become a contractor. you can just "become" a contractor, can't you?

 

 

 

 

 

Whoah...

 

 

 

Lets be serious here. You dont want to be buying something like a backhoe out of inspection range if you dont plan on taking a serious financial risk in the process

 

 

 

There are several things to take in consideration. None of which can be determined by a description in an auction catalog. They arent like cars where you assume the condition by the mileage and a photograph. Ive been burned on those many times, but if a clutch is slipping on a vette I can change one out in the shop for a couple hundred bucks....

 

 

 

You buy a five eighty from Nebraska and once it gets delivered you find the brakes are shot... plan on spending three grand plus. Reason being they are "wet" brakes that are contained totally inside the rear end/transaxle assembly. Have to take the rear tires off, remove the transaxle, and tear the whole thing apart just to get at them. Cooooostly. Plus each moving point in the backhoe/loader sections have hardened pins rotating inside bushings that are pressed into the swing/boom/dipper/bucket assemblies. Imagine several close tolerance connections between three thousand pounds plus of ductile iron reaching out twenty feet plus. Probably cant. Well, visualize a bicycle chain held sideways. Even a new one "sags" downward. Now imagine a worn out one. Will point to the ground like your peter in shame standing next to strat at an orgy. See... I only make fun of the ones that do themselves. Or the mass majority. Im drunk but still make sense I hope. Suited wont get to enjoy none of this. Lucky bastard.

 

 

 

The point is, if anyone has got this far that is, you need to know what to look for. If a five eightys brakes are good they will stop straight within a short distance when both pedals are pressed. Yes, they have a pedal for both sides. Only losers lock them together. Reason being when the front bucket is down and the front wheels are floating off the ground you use differential braking to steer it. Just like an airplane. Also within five minutes of unlocking the boom and playing with the ass end you can tell if the bushings are good. Stretch it out and swing it side to side... when you release the pedal the bucket should stop within a foot or so...any more and its "loose"

 

 

 

You can delay your movements to adjust for play in the boom of course. Every backhoe has a varying degree of it, even brand new. What you dont want is one that is so worn that you have to give opposite swing to "catch" it from overshooting the ditch youre digging. That means the pins/bushings are so worn that they are wearing into the surrounding ductile iron. That cant be welded. Bad news. Older tractors like the C's, D's, and E's were made of steel which can be arc or tig welded back in specs pretty easily.

 

 

 

Plus there are other factors like the servos that control the forward/reverse shuttle and differential lock, which when pressed makes both rear tires 'lock" together and spin at the same time. Is only supposed to be used when loading gravel when the tractor is moving straight ahead. If some numbskull presses it and turns sharply on concrete or asphalt it can put serious stress on the gears inside the rearend...

 

 

Long story less long... buy one locally. Hunt down someone who runs one and buy the chap a couple cases of beer to inspect it for you. Hell, take a ten minute vid of someone operating it and post it. Within a beer or two Ill size it up for ya. If the pins/bushings are good,moves forward/backward without hesitation, and brakes left/right equally with both pedals its almost always a keeper. The only ones you have to watch for is ones that have had a jackhammer mounted on the ass or have been severely neglected. My testing advice will eliminate both of those

 

 

 

Keep me posted if you find one within driving range of you or me. Ill assist through pic/vids on your end and take a full cooler and spend a day on mine finding you one...

 

 

 

Holy hell I just tyoped this all out without a fresh beer

[Sickinfo2 291]

hahaha...I got a glance of mexi saying back to this pulling out thing....

 

 

 

If I didnt need to go back to the shop and do some things Id make some hilarious sickening true to life comments about it

 

 

 

 

And als always avoid twitter like the plague anyone that hasnt already unfollered me... you dumbarses yous

[ShakeZuma 585]

My buddy is married, has two kids and has to wear condoms to fck his wife. That seems awful. Wouldn't a pull out be better there?

 

one of them has herpes.

 

Keep me posted if you find one within driving range of you or me. Ill assist through pic/vids on your end and take a full cooler and spend a day on mine finding you one...

 

well it would be at the very minimum a year before I'd even begin to look for one really. would have to have the farm and the additional attached piece in my name and ready to go, plus the miracle of me finding a job that pays more than mcdonalds would be a huge requirement too. first part pretty likely, second part nearly impossible.

 

I did talk to my aunt last night and she's quite interested in selling both properties (I did mention the second right? it's a ~3 acre piece adjoining the 86 acres that has road frontage; would be good since the main land only has the easement.) but it sounds like she might be looking for more than I can afford. she's gonna call an appraiser today but it's the woman that used to work with my uncle/her husband, so I have to imagine the figure will come in a bit high. thinking I should call another local appraiser and get a second opinion but I'm not sure where to start (yes I am aware of google you faggots). would be much nicer to have an inside guy.

 

but anyways, back to the tractor... I mean, you understand I have absolutely zero tractor driving experience, right? are these things moderately easy to learn? I mean I'm not a moron, well not too much of one, but I also don't have much of any alternative driving experience. did drive a forklift for an hour once. that's about it. never even owned a stick shift. yeah that's embarassing. shut up. and not only the driving thing, I have zero knowledge of maintenance. I feel like that's something one should know a little about before owning one. is it a learn as you go thing? I don't know, like I said, the likelihood that I could afford one of these things and the land is so ridiculously small that there's almost no point in discussing it, but I guess I'm still curious.

 

 

 

 

so anyways... going to see the old lady this thursday. she's been at the beach with her family all week. this will be the first time I've met any of them save for one of her brothers. little nervous. but hopefully they'll all be drunk by the time I get there. hell I might be too. first impressions!