ShakeZuma 585 Posted January 18, 2006 Share Posted January 18, 2006 Man, I gotta start posting my legendary failures. I'm just gonna be sitting around feeling sorry for myself, listening to depressing music, and doing some Soduku or something, so I think I'll jot down a few memoirs in my spiral ring notebook later tonight and see if I can post them tomorrow.I'm the king of striking out. About a year ago, I was near suicide when I botched a SURE threesome, which was a once in a lifetime opportunity for a guy like me. The next night, I ruined a guaranteed Beej by refusing to allow the girl I was hooking up with to play John Mayer. Sweet back-to-back performance, Wang. I'll get on these and put everyone to shame. How on Earth are you "technically" not in highschool, Burg? Prison? Or something cooler?i've had two threesome's in my life, surely the situation will arise at another point in time.I've never had a threesome, and to be honest, I don't think I want to.I mean come on, I can barely satisfy one woman, why do I need to dissapoint more at the same time? Link to post Share on other sites
allinbluff35 0 Posted January 18, 2006 Share Posted January 18, 2006 i've had two threesome's in my life, surely the situation will arise at another point in time.they weren't with satan and saddam, were they?no Link to post Share on other sites
CrackofmyACE_FTP 0 Posted January 18, 2006 Share Posted January 18, 2006 Wang, I used this in college and it worked wonders. Any time you see a really hot chick and youre nervous about approaching her, picture her taking an absolutely disgusting dump on the floor in the middle of the bar and all of a sudden you OWN her. You'll find yourself laughing at anything she says, not because of what she's saying but rather the hilarious image in your mind, and she'll adore your seemingly invincible confidence. CrackofmyACE Link to post Share on other sites
allinbluff35 0 Posted January 18, 2006 Share Posted January 18, 2006 I've never had a threesome, and to be honest, I don't think I want to.I mean come on, I can barely satisfy one woman, why do I need to dissapoint more at the same time?that's why the other chick is there, I think the highlighted point of both of them can be summed up with this one line, "have your friend fuck your cunt with that dildo while you suck my dick." Link to post Share on other sites
speedz99 145 Posted January 18, 2006 Share Posted January 18, 2006 Wang, I used this in college and it worked wonders. Any time you see a really hot chick and youre nervous about approaching her, picture her taking an absolutely disgusting dump on the floor in the middle of the bar and all of a sudden you OWN her. You'll find yourself laughing at anything she says, not because of what she's saying but rather the hilarious image in your mind, and she'll adore your seemingly invincible confidence. CrackofmyACEWouldn't work for me...poo turns me on. Link to post Share on other sites
dEv~ 19 Posted January 18, 2006 Share Posted January 18, 2006 Man, I gotta start posting my legendary failures. I'm just gonna be sitting around feeling sorry for myself, listening to depressing music, and doing some Soduku or something, so I think I'll jot down a few memoirs in my spiral ring notebook later tonight and see if I can post them tomorrow.I'm the king of striking out. About a year ago, I was near suicide when I botched a SURE threesome, which was a once in a lifetime opportunity for a guy like me. The next night, I ruined a guaranteed Beej by refusing to allow the girl I was hooking up with to play John Mayer. Sweet back-to-back performance, Wang. I'll get on these and put everyone to shame. How on Earth are you "technically" not in highschool, Burg? Prison? Or something cooler?i've had two threesome's in my life, surely the situation will arise at another point in time.I've never had a threesome, and to be honest, I don't think I want to.I mean come on, I can barely satisfy one woman, why do I need to dissapoint more at the same time?JERRY: I can't. I'm not an orgy guy. GEORGE: Are you crazy? This is like discovering Plutonium ... by accident!!!JERRY: Don't you know what it means to become an orgy guy? It changes everything. I'd have to dress different. I'd have to act different. I'd have togrow a mustache and get all kinds of robes and lotions and I'd need a newbedspread and new curtains I'd have to get thick carpeting and weirdo lighting.I'd have to get new friends. I'd have to get orgy friends.... Naw, I'm not ready for it. Link to post Share on other sites
mk 11 Posted January 18, 2006 Share Posted January 18, 2006 that's why the other chick is there, I think the highlighted point of both of them can be summed up with this one line, "have your friend censored your cunt with that dildo while you suck my dick."dude, you are hardcore. Link to post Share on other sites
JBradburn6 0 Posted January 18, 2006 Share Posted January 18, 2006 Now, Â you get her attention for the next few minutes, and get a chance to impress her with your charm and wit. Â Or you get smacked, and glared at disgustingly by her friends. Â Like I said, it's a coinflip. Â Shimmering WangIs it really a coinflip? I picture this being more like 70/30 against, guess I'll have to check CardPlayer's winning percentages.Although, target selection I'm sure is very key, and when used successfully can probably get it to a coinflip. Link to post Share on other sites
RhinestoneCowboy 2 Posted January 18, 2006 Share Posted January 18, 2006 Repeat after me:"I have a 6" tongue and can breathe through my nose." Link to post Share on other sites
digitalmonkey 929 Posted January 20, 2006 Share Posted January 20, 2006 Repeat after me:"I have a 10" tongue and can breathe through my ears."fyp Link to post Share on other sites
digitalmonkey 929 Posted January 20, 2006 Share Posted January 20, 2006 Hi, I'm Dale. I noticed you standing here and I was trying to think of a line to break the ice and introduce myself, but then I figured that someone as beautiful as you has probably heard every possible line there is so I just decided I was going to approach you and inform you in some clever way that I don't have any pickup lines, but then I thought that you might think that was a pickup line, so I finally decided just to come over here and say, Hi I'm Dale. Can I buy you a drink? Link to post Share on other sites
mrdannyg 274 Posted January 21, 2006 Share Posted January 21, 2006 Hi, I'm Dale. I noticed you standing here and I was trying to think of a line to break the ice and introduce myself, but then I figured that someone as beautiful as you has probably heard every possible line there is so I just decided I was going to approach you and inform you in some clever way that I don't have any pickup lines, but then I thought that you might think that was a pickup line, so I finally decided just to come over here and say, Hi I'm Dale. Can I buy you a drink?you're pick-up line is paradoxical.i love it.i hope you pick up lots of sexually repressed philosophy majors with it. Link to post Share on other sites
76clubs 0 Posted January 21, 2006 Share Posted January 21, 2006 Ive said it before, Ill say it again,I WANG! Link to post Share on other sites
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