Nikki_N 17 Posted June 8, 2009 Author Share Posted June 8, 2009 How bout the power.... to move you?You take the high road. I'll take the low.You have to buy them 50 at a time so they live in their little cricket container and just do their cricket talking.Note to self: No lizards. Link to post Share on other sites
bleacherbum3 9 Posted June 8, 2009 Share Posted June 8, 2009 Morning. Link to post Share on other sites
dolfan 0 Posted June 8, 2009 Share Posted June 8, 2009 So I saw a commercial for FullBar this weekend and I was shocked at how retarded this is. Basically, it's a diet plan that was "invented" by a doctor who's done a bunch of those stomach stapling surgeries. He has this bar, which is never described in the commercial and looks basically like a Kashi granola bar. His diet plan is this:30 minutes prior to a meal, eat one of these bars and drink a glass of water. Then, miraculously, you won't eat as much during your meal 30 minutes later!They actually give a scientific explanation in the commercial, too, with one of those diagrams of the human body where you can see the organs. He explains that this plan works, essentially, because YOUR STOMACH IS ALREADY FULLER FROM HAVING CONSUMED FOOD 30 MINUTES PRIOR TO A MEAL. I was dumbfounded by this whole thing. It takes a doctor with a granola bar and a completely obvious idea to have a diet plan now? Link to post Share on other sites
goldie79 0 Posted June 8, 2009 Share Posted June 8, 2009 You have to buy them 50 at a time so they live in their little cricket container and just do their cricket talking.The ex had reptiles, and those crickets annoyed me everynight, chirping away. I used to flush them all down the toilet and in the morning there would be one swimming, somehow managed to survive the flush.The chirping sound came from the large mofos with wings, one way to make them stop was to pull their back legs and wings off.So happy I'm done with that crap. Link to post Share on other sites
lvpro 0 Posted June 8, 2009 Share Posted June 8, 2009 So I saw a commercial for FullBar this weekend and I was shocked at how retarded this is. Basically, it's a diet plan that was "invented" by a doctor who's done a bunch of those stomach stapling surgeries. He has this bar, which is never described in the commercial and looks basically like a Kashi granola bar. His diet plan is this:30 minutes prior to a meal, eat one of these bars and drink a glass of water. Then, miraculously, you won't eat as much during your meal 30 minutes later!They actually give a scientific explanation in the commercial, too, with one of those diagrams of the human body where you can see the organs. He explains that this plan works, essentially, because YOUR STOMACH IS ALREADY FULLER FROM HAVING CONSUMED FOOD 30 MINUTES PRIOR TO A MEAL. I was dumbfounded by this whole thing. It takes a doctor with a granola bar and a completely obvious idea to have a diet plan now?At least it's got a super awesome and clever name. Link to post Share on other sites
goldie79 0 Posted June 8, 2009 Share Posted June 8, 2009 So I saw a commercial for FullBar this weekend and I was shocked at how retarded this is. Basically, it's a diet plan that was "invented" by a doctor who's done a bunch of those stomach stapling surgeries. He has this bar, which is never described in the commercial and looks basically like a Kashi granola bar. His diet plan is this:30 minutes prior to a meal, eat one of these bars and drink a glass of water. Then, miraculously, you won't eat as much during your meal 30 minutes later!They actually give a scientific explanation in the commercial, too, with one of those diagrams of the human body where you can see the organs. He explains that this plan works, essentially, because YOUR STOMACH IS ALREADY FULLER FROM HAVING CONSUMED FOOD 30 MINUTES PRIOR TO A MEAL. I was dumbfounded by this whole thing. It takes a doctor with a granola bar and a completely obvious idea to have a diet plan now?Speaking of diets, I have managed to lose 16 lbs in the last 3 weeks. Link to post Share on other sites
dolfan 0 Posted June 8, 2009 Share Posted June 8, 2009 Speaking of diets, I have managed to lose 16 lbs in the last 3 weeks.That's admirable, but I'll bet you didn't know that you'll eat less if you feel full. Link to post Share on other sites
goldie79 0 Posted June 8, 2009 Share Posted June 8, 2009 That's admirable, but I'll bet you didn't know that you'll eat less if you feel full.Strange how the human body works. Link to post Share on other sites
Nikki_N 17 Posted June 8, 2009 Author Share Posted June 8, 2009 So I saw a commercial for FullBar this weekend and I was shocked at how retarded this is. Basically, it's a diet plan that was "invented" by a doctor who's done a bunch of those stomach stapling surgeries. He has this bar, which is never described in the commercial and looks basically like a Kashi granola bar. His diet plan is this:30 minutes prior to a meal, eat one of these bars and drink a glass of water. Then, miraculously, you won't eat as much during your meal 30 minutes later!They actually give a scientific explanation in the commercial, too, with one of those diagrams of the human body where you can see the organs. He explains that this plan works, essentially, because YOUR STOMACH IS ALREADY FULLER FROM HAVING CONSUMED FOOD 30 MINUTES PRIOR TO A MEAL. I was dumbfounded by this whole thing. It takes a doctor with a granola bar and a completely obvious idea to have a diet plan now?I think the bar is made of straw or something basically non-digestible so instead of absorbing calories, you just shit out something that looks like it came from a horses ass. This is my speculation.The ex had reptiles, and those crickets annoyed me everynight, chirping away. I used to flush them all down the toilet and in the morning there would be one swimming, somehow managed to survive the flush.The chirping sound came from the large mofos with wings, one way to make them stop was to pull their back legs and wings off.So happy I'm done with that crap.That was pretty horrific. Link to post Share on other sites
bleacherbum3 9 Posted June 8, 2009 Share Posted June 8, 2009 Okay, since he didn't come in here and tell it, I will.We were practicing in the yard (with most of the team). Andy was throwing up balls for us to practice pop flies. It's Dave's turn. His ball, on its way down, hits a power line and changes trajectory. At this point the damn thing must have speeded up, and now he didn't have time to adjust his glove so he caught it with his face. It split his upper lip (on his left side) wide open. I mean wide open. We went to emergency thinking they'd throw a couple of stitches in and we'd be on our way. It turns out he needed an oral maxillofacial surgeon to sew it up because it was very deep and involved some muscle tissue. We had to go to another ER because the one we went to couldn't get anyone to come in on a Saturday night. It happened around 6:30 and we got home at 3:00 am. It took ten stitches (some inside and some outside) and it should heal up just fine with minimal scarring. He didn't even have to shave of his mustache.Ouch. Almost sorry I asked. That hurt just to read.Definitely not as good as Tim threatening people during the game.Heal up well and soon Dave. Link to post Share on other sites
babyangel 0 Posted June 8, 2009 Share Posted June 8, 2009 Crickets were the worst part of the Anole we had.. if it were up to me to feed it, the poor thing would have starved to death. That was TOTALLY Chris's job..Sam and I would both like him to starve to death but we can't bring ourselves to kill him. He's a mean ass lizard too. Plus we didn't buy him, and have been raising him for like two years. I've put him on kijiji and everything, no one wants this stupid lizard. Link to post Share on other sites
bleacherbum3 9 Posted June 8, 2009 Share Posted June 8, 2009 MMM....12 hours of sleep.I feel better.Isn't sleeping in all the time nice? Link to post Share on other sites
goldie79 0 Posted June 8, 2009 Share Posted June 8, 2009 Sam and I would both like him to starve to death but we can't bring ourselves to kill him. He's a mean ass lizard too. Plus we didn't buy him, and have been raising him for like two years. I've put him on kijiji and everything, no one wants this stupid lizard.Let your cat play with it. My cat killed the ex's lizards, the top was left off the tank and the cat jumped in swatted the thing around. Link to post Share on other sites
bleacherbum3 9 Posted June 8, 2009 Share Posted June 8, 2009 PS.. How do I find you on twitter? I found you, now go to your followers and follow me.See my sig. Link to post Share on other sites
dolfan 0 Posted June 8, 2009 Share Posted June 8, 2009 I think the bar is made of straw or something basically non-digestible so instead of absorbing calories, you just shit out something that looks like it came from a horses ass. This is my speculation.Well, that's definitely an upside. I'm gonna order me a whole case. Link to post Share on other sites
bleacherbum3 9 Posted June 8, 2009 Share Posted June 8, 2009 Okay, so I was thinking that if the angels all get an angel tat of some sort and then we are stalked and slayed by a mystery killer that it will be like television crime solving where they find out that all of our tattoos are linked somehow and that the international murder spree is all connected by fcp.The return of crazyIvan? Link to post Share on other sites
bleacherbum3 9 Posted June 8, 2009 Share Posted June 8, 2009 The killer is obviously Ivan, so it's going to be pretty anticlimactic.Fucking shit. Link to post Share on other sites
dolfan 0 Posted June 8, 2009 Share Posted June 8, 2009 The return of crazyIvan?I knew I couldn't possibly be the only one who thought that. Link to post Share on other sites
tall0n 1 Posted June 8, 2009 Share Posted June 8, 2009 Sam and I would both like him to starve to death but we can't bring ourselves to kill him. He's a mean ass lizard too. Plus we didn't buy him, and have been raising him for like two years. I've put him on kijiji and everything, no one wants this stupid lizard.Um..... seriously?Step 1. Open back door.Step 2. Pick up container with lizard in it.Step 3. Walk through open back door.Step 4. Put container on ground in backyard.Step 5. Open lid to container.Step 6. Let lizard do what lizards do naturally, Live in the wild! Seriously!?! Link to post Share on other sites
bleacherbum3 9 Posted June 8, 2009 Share Posted June 8, 2009 Afternoon.Hello protein.Lucky Sam. Link to post Share on other sites
jeff_536 3 Posted June 8, 2009 Share Posted June 8, 2009 Isn't sleeping in all the time nice? actually, I went to bed at 9, up at 9. Catching up from my poker weekend.Um..... seriously?Step 1. Open back door.Step 2. Pick up container with lizard in it.Step 3. Walk through open back door.Step 4. Put container on ground in backyard.Step 5. Open lid to container.Step 6. Let lizard do what lizards do naturally, Live in the wild! Seriously!?!Yes, he can go play with all his new lizard friends because Canada has quite the population of lizards.sheesh Link to post Share on other sites
bleacherbum3 9 Posted June 8, 2009 Share Posted June 8, 2009 Sam and I would both like him to starve to death but we can't bring ourselves to kill him. He's a mean ass lizard too. Plus we didn't buy him, and have been raising him for like two years. I've put him on kijiji and everything, no one wants this stupid lizard.Send it to Dustin, he can feed it to the alligator at work. Link to post Share on other sites
Nikki_N 17 Posted June 8, 2009 Author Share Posted June 8, 2009 Speaking of diets, I have managed to lose 16 lbs in the last 3 weeks.Damn! WTG! Link to post Share on other sites
dms26 3 Posted June 8, 2009 Share Posted June 8, 2009 Send it to Dustin, he can feed it to the alligator at work.They trapped it and took it away Link to post Share on other sites
Jadaki 0 Posted June 8, 2009 Share Posted June 8, 2009 They trapped it and took it away Fun haters Link to post Share on other sites
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