loogie 115 Posted March 21, 2007 Share Posted March 21, 2007 On March 27, I'll be in Minneapolis at the Acme Comedy Club giving the judges my "best two minutes". I will now open the floor to any suggestions on my strategy, joke submissions, odds of me making it past the first audition, clothing choices, and any other comments you feel like volunteering. Link to post Share on other sites
zimmer4141 0 Posted March 21, 2007 Share Posted March 21, 2007 From what I've seen, in the short audition they look for quality material and something that would distinguish yourself from everybody else. Not like weird distinguished, but something that would make you different from every observational comic. Link to post Share on other sites
Shimmering Wang 1 Posted March 21, 2007 Share Posted March 21, 2007 On March 27, I'll be in Minneapolis at the Acme Comedy Club giving the judges my "best two minutes". I will now open the floor to any suggestions on my strategy, joke submissions, odds of me making it past the first audition, clothing choices, and any other comments you feel like volunteering.What kind of comedy do you do? Post some of your stuff so I can read it, and then realize how hard standup is. Link to post Share on other sites
RodReynolds 90 Posted March 21, 2007 Share Posted March 21, 2007 As long as you consistently and aggressively maintain that you are in opposition to most forms of disease and pestilence, I think you'll do just fine. No judge is going to kick the guy out who hates disease and pestilence more than him. Of this I'm fairly certain.For example, I'd open with this joke: "Who really hates cancer?" Follow this with 30 seconds of silence, and then say, "cause I sure do!" That's the joke.I have no idea what I'm saying anymore. Link to post Share on other sites
tobytobey 0 Posted March 21, 2007 Share Posted March 21, 2007 Here's an idea I thought of a few days ago. I am by no means a joke writer or any sort of commedian, but I think this might make an amusing topic.For those of you who have dogs, are they crate trained? In case you didn't know the term crate means the same as cage. At what point did it become politically inncorrect to call it a cage? Does the dog feel better about being in a crate as opposed to a cage?Thats all I got, but you could probably expand on the idea to include other non PC scenarios involving animals.Good luck! Link to post Share on other sites
iloveplaypokr 0 Posted March 21, 2007 Share Posted March 21, 2007 you need to tailor your comedy to your personality or it'll come off sounding completely fake. so start there. Link to post Share on other sites
Shimmering Wang 1 Posted March 21, 2007 Share Posted March 21, 2007 Great advice so far, guys. I'm sure loogie's in front of his computer right now with a pad of paper and a pen, scribbling furiously. "Oh, this is gold. GOLD." Link to post Share on other sites
Theraflu 1,035 Posted March 21, 2007 Share Posted March 21, 2007 Great advice so far, guys. I'm sure loogie's in front of his computer right now with a pad of paper and a pen, scribbling furiously. "Oh, this is gold. GOLD."Commodore, not everyone is as Wangtastic as you. Link to post Share on other sites
loogie 115 Posted March 21, 2007 Author Share Posted March 21, 2007 People say crate trained? I did not know this. Wild, wacky stuff.My dog is barrel trained.That's gold, Jerry! Gold! Link to post Share on other sites
ShakeZuma 585 Posted March 21, 2007 Share Posted March 21, 2007 You do a lot of that "you ever notice" stuff?dude you're the funniest person on this site. taking comedy cues from us would be like me taking tips on banging women from mrdannyg. Link to post Share on other sites
loogie 115 Posted March 21, 2007 Author Share Posted March 21, 2007 What kind of comedy do you do? Post some of your stuff so I can read it, and then realize how hard standup is.It's difficult to type out material since so much of it is timing and expression. But here's a joke joke I wrote that I've performed onstage exactly one time. I like it, though.Did you hear about the dysfunctional family of terrorists?Dad blew up at dinner. Link to post Share on other sites
Balloon guy 158 Posted March 22, 2007 Share Posted March 22, 2007 I hang out at a Hooka Bar sometimes with a guy that was the manager of The Improv in LA for like 15 years, funny guy. We talk alot about comedy etc.One set I've asked his help on is a play off the old ..you might be a redneck line of Jeff Foxworthy.But it goes more along the lines of comparing Metrosexuals vs homosexuals.Start off with the : Ladies I just want to help you out cause I'm all about helping the ladies. You go out go to a club and see a hot guy you got to ask: "Is he gay, or is he metrosexual?"So I'm going to give you some pointers to help save you some embarressing moments:If he watches American Idol and knows all the contestants, He's probably just metrosexual.If he crys when describing them, he's gay.That's the set up, plenty of easy material, you are welcome to own it and make it your own since I failed after three bad jokes. Link to post Share on other sites
Balloon guy 158 Posted March 22, 2007 Share Posted March 22, 2007 It's difficult to type out material since so much of it is timing and expression. But here's a joke joke I wrote that I've performed onstage exactly one time. I like it, though.Did you hear about the dysfunctional family of terrorists?Dad blew up at dinner.How about reading a secret copy of "How to be a terrorist" handbookDon't use dysfunctional familesDon't strap explosives to your dog, they tend to follow youDon't strap explosives to your wife, she'll worry that they make her look fat. Link to post Share on other sites
zimmer4141 0 Posted March 22, 2007 Share Posted March 22, 2007 Honestly for a nationally televised show, I'm not sure if terrorist jokes would go over too well.If you're going to rattle off one-liners ala Mitch Hedberg, then it's all about delivery.I'm convinced you could make a 3-minute bit out of a family of dysfunctional terrorists though. Link to post Share on other sites
loogie 115 Posted March 22, 2007 Author Share Posted March 22, 2007 Honestly for a nationally televised show, I'm not sure if terrorist jokes would go over too well.If you're going to rattle off one-liners ala Mitch Hedberg, then it's all about delivery.I'm convinced you could make a 3-minute bit out of a family of dysfunctional terrorists though.I am in no way planning on using that joke for the show. However, I am considering using a bunch of Richard Jeni's material. I mean, it's up for grabs. Right? Link to post Share on other sites
digitalmonkey 929 Posted March 22, 2007 Share Posted March 22, 2007 I am in no way planning on using that joke for the show. However, I am considering using a bunch of Richard Jeni's material. I mean, it's up for grabs. Right?"It's always been up for grabs."~Carlos Mencia Link to post Share on other sites
digitalmonkey 929 Posted March 22, 2007 Share Posted March 22, 2007 How about a bit on the absurdity of banning online poker vs. the enormous amount of beastiality available online (or so I've heard).You can incorporate the famous dogs playing poker picture and how it's now more acceptable if they're f*cking.Just brainstorming... Link to post Share on other sites
Shimmering Wang 1 Posted March 22, 2007 Share Posted March 22, 2007 I am in no way planning on using that joke for the show. However, I am considering using a bunch of Richard Jeni's material. I mean, it's up for grabs. Right?This would be a funny joke. I don't know if they'd get it, but you could find a more well-known Richard Jeni bit, deliver it, and then say it's totally fine that you stole it because you called dibs or something. Link to post Share on other sites
Kuge 0 Posted March 22, 2007 Share Posted March 22, 2007 Hmm...quite the interesting post....I might head over there to give it a shot...have my dreams shattered...and never attempt to do stand-up ever again.PS: You are one of the funniest people who post here, good luck in auditioning. Also, is there a site that shows where all the auditions are going to be held? Link to post Share on other sites
Dirtydutch 8 Posted March 22, 2007 Share Posted March 22, 2007 This would be a funny joke. I don't know if they'd get it, but you could find a more well-known Richard Jeni bit, deliver it, and then say it's totally fine that you stole it because you called dibs or something.This is funny to us, but I'm sure LCS is looking for something a bit more...broad...and terrible. Link to post Share on other sites
Dirtydutch 8 Posted March 22, 2007 Share Posted March 22, 2007 Oh, also, for anyone wondering, Jeni was, in the prime of comedy, a hack -- and even compaired to the **** we have now, mediocre at best. Link to post Share on other sites
loogie 115 Posted March 22, 2007 Author Share Posted March 22, 2007 Also, is there a site that shows where all the auditions are going to be held? Last Comic Standing auditions Link to post Share on other sites
digitalmonkey 929 Posted March 22, 2007 Share Posted March 22, 2007 2 minutes...wow!You could sing the theme from Mighty Mouse. Link to post Share on other sites
SuperJon 175 Posted March 22, 2007 Share Posted March 22, 2007 2 minutes...wow!You could sing the theme from Mighty Mouse.Throw in some some wrestling with women, get cancer, and you'll be a comedic legend. Link to post Share on other sites
navybuttons 15 Posted March 22, 2007 Share Posted March 22, 2007 i had to do stand up comedy twice for a writing class. the first time i killed cause everyone was drunk. the second time i bombed cause everyone was sober and they all laughed at this girl's jokes about her life as a christian.my favorite joke was "i've never raped a girl, but i have been accused of rape, which has all the negative aspects and none of the positives. (audience silent) i'm just kidding there's nothing funny about rape... well there is but you had to be there."i think i was the only one in the room laughing. Link to post Share on other sites
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