Balloon guy 158 Posted May 1, 2006 Share Posted May 1, 2006 Newswire May 1st, 2006by: S. Tart Mcrumor In a intensive 2 hour search this reporter has uncovered shocking evidence that may destroy the fragile blanket of secrecy that has clouded the FCP Head's Up Tournament since it's inception just 4 short weeks ago. Many unknowing poker players are being set up for a sting opperation that has at it's core greed, power and attempts at total domination of the online poker craze. It all started many years ago when a young poker player who we will name 'kidpocket' found himself on vast amounts of money and a need for more. After winning more money than most Canadians will see in their lifetime, 'kidpocket' began juicing. Uncovered in a rough draft of the tell all book about Barry Bonds, this reported has found vague references that has allowed him to take journalistic license to bring about this shocking allegation. This web of lies traces itself all the way back to his female accomplish who we will name 'mom'. Bringing these 'lunches' supplied by 'mom' 'kidpocket' was able to focus better, read his opponents, and feel the flow of the game better than his opponants. By using this enhancing formula created by 'mom' from recipes brought over from a former Soviet Union country, 'kidpocket' has dominated the poker world and is in danger of dominating the FCP Head's Up Tournament. Although the poker commisioner could not be reached for comment, it is believed he would have said; " A full investigation will be undertaken to find out more of this wrongful attempt at poker domination." Further more he would have added; "Kidpocket must be stopped" This unfair advantage first revealed it's ugly head when RhinestoneCowboy was defeated in his first ever heads up match against 'kidpocket'. "I didn't know how I lost, I was calling with second best hand and fell for a couple traps sure, but it was like the whole thing was broccoli." It's no wonder Rhinestone feels confused, he easily defeated the best player in his division the next week by not falling for traps and only calling with the best hands. How could it be possible for him not to have beaten 'kidpocket', when he was able to upset the Cigar Lovers you ask? That's what this reporter is trying to find out. 'Kidpocket' could not be reached for comment since he sleeps till like 6 p.m. everyday, a possible side effect of his 'juicing'. But this reported feels sure he would have responded by saying; " I didn't do nothing wrong' (sic). A double negative, you can see he is setting himself up for a legal battle. He is currently holing up out of the country as this epic battle begins, reportedly seeking to recruit another young player into his world of 'juice' and poker. Further investigations will be forthcoming in the weeks ahead, but after making 3 players 'disappear' last night, this reporter is feeling a little afraid for his poker life. Is 'kidpocket' juicing? Will there be any chance of a fair battle in the Head's Up Tournament on FCP? Why did jayboogie shave his legs? All this and more is enough to cast a shadow of fear and uncertainty on the lives of the 31 unsuspecting captains and their teammates in this first year of FCP Head's Up Tournament. Stay tuned for more shocking discoveries as this reporter stops at nothing to uncover the truth as he sees it. Link to post Share on other sites
The Czar 0 Posted May 1, 2006 Share Posted May 1, 2006 I had no idea, but after being presented all the facts, I'm sickened over what has happened in our sport. Despite passing a grueling WPT drug test, I still have my suspicions. Keep us updated on this. A possible season forfeit is forthcoming. Link to post Share on other sites
fleung22 1 Posted May 1, 2006 Share Posted May 1, 2006 Kidpocket!LOL...that's awesome!! Link to post Share on other sites
XX44466XX 0 Posted May 2, 2006 Share Posted May 2, 2006 Thank God someone had the stones to blow the whistle!(There's gonna be a new sheriff in town... and his name is gonna be sloshr!) Link to post Share on other sites
Oziumrules 0 Posted May 2, 2006 Share Posted May 2, 2006 Pud Selig has teamed up w/ the Senator from Kentucky to investigate the FCP/Falco steroid scandel. Link to post Share on other sites
j2k99 0 Posted May 2, 2006 Share Posted May 2, 2006 this 'kidpocket' needs to be banned for at least 5 tourneys. Link to post Share on other sites
Balloon guy 158 Posted May 2, 2006 Author Share Posted May 2, 2006 Looks like he'll need more than enhancers to dominate the STU UNGER Division. Link to post Share on other sites
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