SuitedAces21 2,722 Posted March 19, 2009 Share Posted March 19, 2009 I like how to cleverly came in this thread to rip on yourself. Well played.i wasnt trying to be an ass or make any jokes (this time). i just dont understand this shit. Link to post Share on other sites
BigDMcGee 3,352 Posted March 19, 2009 Share Posted March 19, 2009 i wasnt trying to be an ass or make any jokes (this time). i just dont understand this shit.Hmmmmm You're the boy who cried Irony, Suited. Link to post Share on other sites
SuitedAces21 2,722 Posted March 19, 2009 Share Posted March 19, 2009 Hmmmmm You're the boy who cried Irony, Suited.thanks, man. Link to post Share on other sites
Potomophobia 17 Posted March 21, 2009 Share Posted March 21, 2009 i think it bothers me because whenever i hear this sort of thing in real life i am forced to pretend i care. sometimes i do, but most of the time i dont. and i have to pretend i do because otherwise people will think me heartless and they wouldnt be wrong, but i cant have people thinking that. what if i need something from them later? You are a sick and twisted SOB.I bust balls and make some somewhat tasteless jokes at times. But that last statement was truly frightening.The only reason you can come up with for showing any empathy is that you may need to use someone in the future?I hope you die poor and alone after many years of suffering. Link to post Share on other sites
rcgs59 15 Posted March 21, 2009 Share Posted March 21, 2009 i just dont understand how telling the story of your mother dying is supposed to make DN feel better. you think he didnt realize that no one else in the world had ever lost a parent and now that he knows he'll be okay with it? his pain is his. yours is yours. mine is mine. lets keep it that way.its just for me, if i'm suffering a family death, the last thing i care about is what happened to you. but thats just me. i dont take comfort in the fact your mom died 4 years ago. doesnt make it any easier. but thats just the way i see it.Austin if you also notice Daniel often talks about his family and the stresses he feels, and the personal things in his blogs to us. That is who Daniel is so at times like this he needs to know we care and that we also offer support back to him. Some people reach out to others, some people keep it to them selfs. I worry about the ones who keep it inside as it not a very good coping stragery. As for Daniel right now he needs to be with his family. Poker will always be there. Daniel you have support of many here. You need to take care of your self and things at home. I hope and pray it all works out in the most calm and peaceful fashion. If you need anything I am just a short drive away. Link to post Share on other sites
SCYUKON 0 Posted March 21, 2009 Share Posted March 21, 2009 I have been away at work but after reading DN's blog about the Guitar Hero I was going to post a message along the lines of "I know it is tough but you really need to be with your mother right now..." and then I see this thread is already here.Nutz - very sorry to hear that you are now going through what I went through in Jan and Feb - my thoughts and prayers go out to you and your family. DN - Nutz knows of what he speaks - and at risk of offending Suited (although I don't really care if I do), I saw the impact of both methods of dealing with my Mom's illness, the first method being there with her as much as possible (which I did) and the second not being there (which is what my brother did by going away to a course in Washington for a week, and ultimately not being there when she passed, and further staying in Washington until the night before the funeral).I was thankful for the remaining time that I was able to spend with my Mom, making sure she was comfortable, tell her that I loved her, and make sure she got whatever she wanted, even if it was just another pillow or some ice water. My brother, I think, carries a fair bit of guilt of not having had the opportunity to say goodbye, and being away when she passed.So I am not sure from the above messages if you have left for Toronto yet, or if you are holed up at home playing Guitar Hero, but my advice as well is to get to Toronto ASAP and spend as much time there as you can. That is one of the luxuries that you have given your profession - you don't have a boss asking when you will be coming back in to work. Take advantage of that, you won't be sorry.D. Link to post Share on other sites
vbnautilus 48 Posted March 22, 2009 Share Posted March 22, 2009 Solipsism, autism, or just human nature ... we're all helpless in the face of another's pain. We can't feel it, any more than we can feel any other one of their emotions. Funerals make me feel profoundly alienated. I'm aware of the physical space around me in a weird way and I slip into the observer consciousness that both watches the service and also watches myself watching the service. Even the most heartfelt words feel like platitudes. So we come up with bizarre rituals to soothe our most animal instincts. We put the dead on display (aka "the viewing"), so we can creep up, sniff around like Neanderthals, and make sure the dead are the dead and the living are the living. After the viewing, if you're from the urban Northeast, or Irish, you go get shit-faced because you couldn't stand it if you didn't. [southerners don't drink, but pig out.]It's strangely easiest at those moments to feel nothing, when we know we're supposed to be feeling terrible, when we know people we care about are feeling terrible. You're not alone in this, although you might be a little more honest than most in expressing it.But ultimately, we are story-telling animals. Stories knit us together. When we don't know what else to do, we bring food and share stories. Since we can't bring food to the forum, we come to share stories.Not to dismiss the social awkwardness of the situations where we are supposed to feel pain and don't -- I do know what you and SA are talking about -- but I just wanted to point out that we do indeed have a great capacity for feeling one another's pain. The bolded line struck me in particular, because this is getting very close to my field of study, which involves understanding how our brains are set up to empathize with each other. It turns out that when we see someone else experience pain, we activate in our own brains the circuitry for experiencing pain. In other words, the same brain structures are underlying my own experience of pain, and my observation of your pain. (some really interesting recent studies have shown that the extent of this resonant activity depends upon how much you like the person you are observing!) So in a very concrete way we do experience each other's pain. Link to post Share on other sites
Nimue1995 1 Posted March 22, 2009 Share Posted March 22, 2009 Not to dismiss the social awkwardness of the situations where we are supposed to feel pain and don't -- I do know what you and SA are talking about -- but I just wanted to point out that we do indeed have a great capacity for feeling one another's pain. The bolded line struck me in particular, because this is getting very close to my field of study, which involves understanding how our brains are set up to empathize with each other. It turns out that when we see someone else experience pain, we activate in our own brains the circuitry for experiencing pain. In other words, the same brain structures are underlying my own experience of pain, and my observation of your pain. (some really interesting recent studies have shown that the extent of this resonant activity depends upon how much you like the person you are observing!) So in a very concrete way we do experience each other's pain.I know this is true because whenever I read about or see on TV, the abuse of a child or an animal, I literally get sick to my stomach. Link to post Share on other sites
BigDMcGee 3,352 Posted March 22, 2009 Share Posted March 22, 2009 You are a sick and twisted SOB.I bust balls and make some somewhat tasteless jokes at times. But that last statement was truly frightening.The only reason you can come up with for showing any empathy is that you may need to use someone in the future?I hope you die poor and alone after many years of suffering.overlydramatic much? Link to post Share on other sites
vbnautilus 48 Posted March 22, 2009 Share Posted March 22, 2009 overlydramatic much?he was just teaching SA how to be empathic. Link to post Share on other sites
SuitedAces21 2,722 Posted March 22, 2009 Share Posted March 22, 2009 You are a sick and twisted SOB.I bust balls and make some somewhat tasteless jokes at times. But that last statement was truly frightening.The only reason you can come up with for showing any empathy is that you may need to use someone in the future?I hope you die poor and alone after many years of suffering.just being honest here, man. sorry if that sickens you. but i'm not afraid of the truth. people use people every day. you've done it. you'll do it again. Link to post Share on other sites
rcgs59 15 Posted March 23, 2009 Share Posted March 23, 2009 just being honest here, man. sorry if that sickens you. but i'm not afraid of the truth. people use people every day. you've done it. you'll do it again.I think Austin it's sad if you really think people use other people here in that way, in this thread. Sharing some stories about times of stress and pain actually show others going though it that there not alone, and that others do care. People do react differently at times of stress and pain, that is why it's best to talk with your family and friends or someone you trust. If not you could talk to your doctor or a therapist. I do agree that people use people at times when they are at a disadvantage but here I would hope that would not happen, that the thoughts and stories for Daniel and Scott are from the heart and soul and are meant to ease the stress and to show we care.I do not dislike you at all Austin I feel sad for you, actually deep down I think you must of been hurt very deeply by something or someone to act the way you do. Link to post Share on other sites
Nimue1995 1 Posted March 23, 2009 Share Posted March 23, 2009 I think Austin it's sad if you really think people use other people here in that way, in this thread. Sharing some stories about times of stress and pain actually show others going though it that there not alone, and that others do care. People do react differently at times of stress and pain, that is why it's best to talk with your family and friends or someone you trust. If not you could talk to your doctor or a therapist. I do agree that people use people at times when they are at a disadvantage but here I would hope that would not happen, that the thoughts and stories for Daniel and Scott are from the heart and soul and are meant to ease the stress and to show we care.I do not dislike you at all Austin I feel sad for you, actually deep down I think you must of been hurt very deeply by something or someone to act the way you do.Or he's a serial killer Link to post Share on other sites
Fleur 0 Posted March 23, 2009 Share Posted March 23, 2009 Or he's a serial killer I agree with the guy. Might I be a serial killer too then? That would be ironic: a criminologist-serialkiller. Scary stuff, that. Link to post Share on other sites
SuitedAces21 2,722 Posted March 23, 2009 Share Posted March 23, 2009 Or he's a serial killernot yet. Link to post Share on other sites
Nimue1995 1 Posted March 23, 2009 Share Posted March 23, 2009 I agree with the guy. Might I be a serial killer too then? That would be ironic: a criminologist-serialkiller. Scary stuff, that.Sounds like a great movie plot or maybe a horror film? Link to post Share on other sites
SCYUKON 0 Posted March 24, 2009 Share Posted March 24, 2009 I agree with the guy. Might I be a serial killer too then? That would be ironic: a criminologist-serialkiller. Scary stuff, that.Dexter FTW Link to post Share on other sites
JanieAnn 0 Posted March 31, 2009 Share Posted March 31, 2009 My prayers are with you and your family Daniel. Have faith and spend as much time with your mom as you can.. You'll be glad you did. Link to post Share on other sites
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