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Meth-addled alleged masturbator taken down by 15 cops

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That reminds me of a youtube video I once saw: Human glider
You could not pay me to do this http://www.collegehumor.com/video:1800512
Tat's just *CRAZY* stupid. I got sweaty palms just watching him do that.
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this is a real microsoft commercial for a real product.
I'm sorry, I tried to watch it long enough to figure out what it is, but it's just too painful. Those two are an argument for capital punishment.
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Life goes on around body found frozen in vacant Detroit warehouseDETROIT -- This city has not always been a gentle place, but a series of events over the past few, frigid days causes one to wonder how cold the collective heart has grown.It starts with a phone call made by a man who said his friend found a dead body in the elevator shaft of an abandoned building on the city's west side."He's encased in ice, except his legs, which are sticking out like Popsicle sticks," the caller phoned to tell this reporter."Why didn't your friend call the police?""He was trespassing and didn't want to get in trouble," the caller replied. As it happens, the caller's friend is an urban explorer who gets thrills rummaging through and photographing the ruins of Detroit. It turns out that this explorer last week was playing hockey with a group of other explorers on the frozen waters that had collected in the basement of the building. None of the men called the police, the explorer said. They, in fact, continued their hockey game.Before calling the police, this reporter went to check on the tip, skeptical of a hoax. Sure enough, in the well of the cargo elevator, two feet jutted out above the ice. Closer inspection revealed that the rest of the body was encased in 2-3 feet of ice, the body prostrate, suspended into the ice like a porpoising walrus.The hem of a beige jacket could be made out, as could the cuffs of blue jeans. The socks were relatively clean and white. The left shoe was worn at the heel but carried fresh laces. Adding to the macabre and incongruous scene was a pillow that gently propped up the left foot of the corpse. It looked almost peaceful.What happened to this person, one wonders? Murder in Motown is a definite possibility. Perhaps it was death by alcoholic stupor. Perhaps the person was crawling around in the elevator shaft trying to retrieve some metal that he could sell at a scrap yard. In any event, there the person was. Stone-cold dead.A symbol of decayThe building is known as the Roosevelt Warehouse, once belonging to the Detroit Public Schools as a book repository. Located near 14th Street and Michigan Avenue, the warehouse burned in 1987 and caused something of a scandal as thousands of books, scissors, footballs and crayons were left to rot while Detroit schoolchildren -- some of the poorest children in the country -- went without supplies.The building was eventually sold to Matty Moroun, the trucking and real estate mogul who is worth billions of dollars and is the largest private property owner in the state of Michigan. Among other properties, Moroun owns the decrepit Michigan Central Rail Depot that squats directly next to the warehouse. The train station has become the symbol of Detroit's decay. Like much of his property in southwestern Detroit, Moroun's warehouse and the train station are gaping sores.The warehouse is so easily accessible, a person in a wheelchair could get in with little effort. There are holes in the fence and in the side entrance. The elevator shaft is wide open. It appears no one has ever tried to close the bay doors.A colony of homeless men live in the warehouse. Wednesday morning a few fires were burning inside oil drums. Scott Ruben, 38, huddled under filthy blankets not 20 paces from the elevator shaft."Yeah, I seen him," Ruben said. The snow outside howled. The heat from the can warped the landscape of rotting buildings and razor wire.Did he know who the dead person was?"I don't recognize him from his shoes."Did he call the police?"No, I figured someone else did," he said."There's lots of people coming through here with cameras and cell phones. I don't got no phone. I don't got no quarter. Things is tight around here."His shack mate, Kenneth Williams, 47, returned at that point with an armload of wood."Yeah, he's been down there since last month at least."He was asked if he called the police."No, I thought it was a dummy myself," he said unconvincingly. Besides, Williams said, there were more pressing issues like keeping warm and finding something to eat."You got a couple bucks?" he asked.Waiting for a responseThere are at least 19,000 homeless people in Detroit, by some estimates. Put another way, more than 1 in 50 people here are homeless.The human problem is so bad, and the beds so few, that some shelters in the city provide only a chair. The chair is yours as long as you sit in it. Once you leave, the chair is reassigned.Thousands of down-on-their-luck adults do nothing more with their day than clutch onto a chair. This passes for normal in some quarters of the city."I hate that musical chair game," Ruben said. He said he'd rather live next to a corpse.Convinced that it was indeed a body, this reporter made a discreet call to a police officer."Aw, just give 911 a call," the cop said. "We'll be called eventually."A call was placed to 911. A woman answered. She was told it was a reporter calling. The operator tried to follow, but seemed confused. "Where is this building?"She promised to contact the appropriate authorities.Twenty minutes or so went by when 911 called the newsroom. This time it was a man."Where's this building?"It was explained to him, as was the elevator shaft and the tomb of ice."Bring a jack-hammer," this reporter suggested."That's what we do," he said.Nearly 24 hours went by. The elevator shaft was still a gaping wound. There was no crime scene tape. The homeless continued to burn their fires. City schoolchildren still do not have the necessary books to learn. The train station continues to crumble. Too many homicides still go unsolved.After another two calls to 911 on Wednesday afternoon (one of which was disconnected), the Detroit Fire Department called and agreed to meet nearby.Capt. Emma McDonald was on the scene."Every time I think I've seen it all, I see this," she said.And with that they went about the work of recovering a person who might otherwise be waiting for the warm winds of spring.

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Surgeons remove healthy kidney through donor's vagina (CNN) -- In what is being heralded as a "first-ever procedure," surgeons removed a healthy kidney through a donor's vagina, the Johns Hopkins Medical Center has announced.Although the procedure has been previously done to extract cancerous and nonfunctioning kidneys that threatened a patient's health, the January 29 surgery was the first time it was done for donation purposes, the center said in a news release issued Monday."The kidney was successfully removed and transplanted into the donor's niece, and both patients are doing fine," Dr. Robert Montgomery, chief of transplant surgery at Johns Hopkins, said in the release.The surgery is considered less invasive and could pave the way for an increase in organ donations, it added."Removing the kidney through a natural opening should hasten the patient's recovery and provide a better cosmetic result," Montgomery said.He told CNN on Tuesday, "We want to make it easier for people to donate, to have less impact on their lives, [be] in hospital a shorter amount of time and get back to their lives quicker."The woman was chosen to be the first donor to undergo the procedure because a previous hysterectomy enabled doctors to operate without a uterus obstructing their efforts, he added.The three-hour procedure typically allows the donor to return home within 24 hours.The more traditional surgery requires a 5- to 6-inch incision through the abdominal wall and generally is followed by two or three days of hospitalization."If you asked our patient, she said it was like getting a tooth removed. She was walking that night and left the next day," Montgomery said.The procedure is done by inserting "wand-like cameras and tools" through small incisions in the abdomen and navel.Doctors then insert a hollow tube through the vagina with a bag at the end.Once the kidney is cut loose, surgeons use video from the cameras to guide them as they maneuver the bag around the organ, place it in the tube and pull it out through the vaginal opening, Montgomery said.A kidney weighs approximately one pound and is roughly the size of a clenched hand.In an effort to ensure a more sterile procedure, the vagina is treated with Betadine, a sterilizing solvent commonly applied during surgery.But some physicians wonder how clean the procedure can actually be."It's good to take such [sterilization] measures," said Dr. Jihad Kaouk, director of laparoscopic and robotic surgery at the Cleveland Clinic. "But the tube touched the vagina. And the bag touched the tube. And the bag touched the kidney"He added, "delivering a kidney from the vagina, which is not sterile -- is it a potential risk or a real risk? We'll find out now."Kaouk also expressed concern over the quality of the kidney once it has been squeezed into a tube."The concept of minimizing incisions and decreasing pain after surgery is always a good idea, but we should always check at what price," he said.

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Air pistol up the bum - GBHA German steel foundry worker has been given a nine months jail sentence after poking an air rifle up his friend's bottom and firing it - causing his intestines to explode.Denis Schwarz, 25, said he'd only wanted to help his pal who had complained about sweaty buttocks from working in the Halberg Guss factory where molten metal kept temperatures soaring.He said he had jokingly offered to help his friend cool down by blowing some air over him and said: "We often played around with air rifles - it was just a bit of fooling around - I said I was going to shoot him in the bum. He said he didn't care and I pulled the trigger and he just collapsed."The Court in Leipzig, which gave him a suspended sentence, heard that the high pressure air blast had ruptured the man's intestines and he had almost died.His victim said: "I suddenly felt this incredible pain - you can't imagine it. I couldn't breathe it hurt so much, you can't know how happy I was when I got to hospital and they gave me an anaesthetic."Prosecutors told the court: "The blast of air burst his intestines causing massive internal bleeding. It was an emergency operation which the victim almost died from. He was in intensive care for 11 days. A big section of his large intestine was removed and he had to have a bag fitted to collect waste."
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