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Have to go old school Jackie mason on ya.... (think about his voice when reading)Guy walks upstairs at lunch and finds his best friend in the world Vinnie on top of his wife screwing away....he looks at his friend and says:"Vinnie, I have to,,,but you?"LOLbasshuntr on FTbassinstud on AP

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A - I'm a stake whore, that's why.Q - Why did you post in this thread without a funny joke, or picture or anything to make me laugh?
i didn't post in here-- oh, wait. i get it.(no stake for me, thanks. best of luck to your horsies!)
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A very loud, unattractive, mean acting woman walked into Wal-Mart with her two kids, yelling obscenities at them all the way through the entrance. The Wal-Mart greeter said pleasantly "Good morning and welcome to Wal-Mart. Nice children you have there. Are they twins?"The ugly woman stopped yelling long enough to say " Hell no they aint!" "The oldest one's 9 and the other one's 7, why the hell would you think they're twins???. Are you blind or just stupid?""I'm neither blind nor stupid, Ma'am" replied the greeter. "I just couldn't believe you got laid twice." "Have a good day and thank you for shopping at Wal-Mart!"

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Why we split up! She told me we couldn't afford beer anymore and I'd have to quit. Then I caught her spending $65.00 on make-up. And I asked how come I had to give up stuff and not her. She said she needed the make-up to look pretty for me. I told her that's what the beer was for. I don't think she's coming back.

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alright chorrzo will get one, ryland will get one, stupid kid gets one, not cause of his post but cause of his carlton dance avatar, and the psu2 guy will get one.....PM me with FTP names and tourny u want to play, make it for tomorrow cause im tired as **** and havent slept since i woke up yesterday and im gonna crash
tyvm sir...im chrozzo on FTwill look for a tourne in a bit and let u know...it will be NLH for sure
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I ordered a pizza tonight. A while later they call and say they are outside. I look and don't see them...wtf?! So I go back in. They call again, say they are outside again...First I'm like why don't they just knock on the door/ring the bell? I wait a minute and don't hear the door, so I give up and go outside. As I'm closing the door, I realized I don't have my keys, or cell on me. Of course the doors locked. And there is still no pizza guy anywhere in sight! Luckily, my brother was there, I'll just ring the bell and he'll answer the door right? Nah of course not, cause he expects me to answer it...I ended up having to just break down and yell that I locked myself out loud enough for him to finally hear me...in front of half my neighbors.

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I ordered a pizza tonight. A while later they call and say they are outside. I look and don't see them...wtf?! So I go back in. They call again, say they are outside again...First I'm like why don't they just knock on the door/ring the bell? I wait a minute and don't hear the door, so I give up and go outside. As I'm closing the door, I realized I don't have my keys, or cell on me. Of course the doors locked. And there is still no pizza guy anywhere in sight! Luckily, my brother was there, I'll just ring the bell and he'll answer the door right? Nah of course not, cause he expects me to answer it...I ended up having to just break down and yell that I locked myself out loud enough for him to finally hear me...in front of half my neighbors.
sorry?
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I ordered a pizza tonight. A while later they call and say they are outside. I look and don't see them...wtf?! So I go back in. They call again, say they are outside again...First I'm like why don't they just knock on the door/ring the bell? I wait a minute and don't hear the door, so I give up and go outside. As I'm closing the door, I realized I don't have my keys, or cell on me. Of course the doors locked. And there is still no pizza guy anywhere in sight! Luckily, my brother was there, I'll just ring the bell and he'll answer the door right? Nah of course not, cause he expects me to answer it...I ended up having to just break down and yell that I locked myself out loud enough for him to finally hear me...in front of half my neighbors.
so....did you get the pizza?
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I ordered a pizza tonight. A while later they call and say they are outside. I look and don't see them...wtf?! So I go back in. They call again, say they are outside again...First I'm like why don't they just knock on the door/ring the bell? I wait a minute and don't hear the door, so I give up and go outside. As I'm closing the door, I realized I don't have my keys, or cell on me. Of course the doors locked. And there is still no pizza guy anywhere in sight! Luckily, my brother was there, I'll just ring the bell and he'll answer the door right? Nah of course not, cause he expects me to answer it...I ended up having to just break down and yell that I locked myself out loud enough for him to finally hear me...in front of half my neighbors.
i still don't get it? Why were they calling and not knocking on the door? makes no sense
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Yeah I don't understand that part either really. Just guessing, because I didn't care enough to ask...I'd say they were at the wrong house, and no one was answering the door there?

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had a good night last night, will stake 4 people in 24+2 tournys of their choice.......ill check thread when i wake up, the 4 posts that make me laugh most will get the stake(p.s. the king of all underagers vid still on way)50/50 deal...obv
thanks for the $24, but as I had no other money on FT before that I dont have the other $2, unless yo would rather I play a 20+2 tourney....let me know
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thanks for the $24, but as I had no other money on FT before that I dont have the other $2, unless yo would rather I play a 20+2 tourney....let me know
probably going to play in tourney 23655543 at 8 pm est
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