F***in' Canadians

[DOG 0]

A few days before my buddy, who is a bartender, got married, I met a guy who turned out to be a semi-functional retard, and coincidentally, an American border guard, while drinking for free on my buddy's tab at his bar, preparing to be his best man. This wacko ended up spouting on about the fact that everyone except Americans speak english wrong, and that accents shouldn't be allowed, which didn't bother him because, as anyone knows, he explained, Americans don't speak with an accent. I don't think he had ever strayed too far south, because when I asked him about southern American accents, he became very confused, claimed that they didn't exist, and started saying that calling England England was just plain wrong, because they didn't speak english correctly there. He did, however, confess that he thought he spoke "The Queen's English", although he didn't see anything ironic about that, or with the fact that to him, the Queen wanders around saying "ain't" and "fellas" on a regular basis. Anyways, I listened to him spout off this nonsense and more for most of a beer, before getting frustrated and telling him, quite pointedly and in detail, that he was a moron. The fact that he was wearing his border guard uniform several hours drive from the actual border was delicious icing for the cake. He seemed quite confused that someone would dare speak back to him, but I wasn't all that concerned about his shiny badge or any authority he thought he had, sitting in that bar. Until my buddy came out from the kitchen, saw us arguing, and came over to try and smooth things over, because, he explained, this special flower of a man was about to become his father-in-law.The ceremony was uncomfortable.Border guards are not intelligent people.

[silkyjonson 1]

95% of the border guards in Detroit go out of they're way to be huge pricks. This guy may have taken it a bit far but some of these guys pushing peoples buttons seems to be what they do best, the fact that they can turn you back for whatever they want is a big power and unfortunately they like to make you feel like shit. I was a Canadian who had an American Visa and they still treated me like the biggest scumbag.

[Randy Reed 0]

A few days before my buddy, who is a bartender, got married, I met a guy who turned out to be a semi-functional retard, and coincidentally, an American border guard, while drinking for free on my buddy's tab at his bar, preparing to be his best man. This wacko ended up spouting on about the fact that everyone except Americans speak english wrong, and that accents shouldn't be allowed, which didn't bother him because, as anyone knows, he explained, Americans don't speak with an accent. I don't think he had ever strayed too far south, because when I asked him about southern American accents, he became very confused, claimed that they didn't exist, and started saying that calling England England was just plain wrong, because they didn't speak english correctly there. He did, however, confess that he thought he spoke "The Queen's English", although he didn't see anything ironic about that, or with the fact that to him, the Queen wanders around saying "ain't" and "fellas" on a regular basis. Anyways, I listened to him spout off this nonsense and more for most of a beer, before getting frustrated and telling him, quite pointedly and in detail, that he was a moron. The fact that he was wearing his border guard uniform several hours drive from the actual border was delicious icing for the cake. He seemed quite confused that someone would dare speak back to him, but I wasn't all that concerned about his shiny badge or any authority he thought he had, sitting in that bar. Until my buddy came out from the kitchen, saw us arguing, and came over to try and smooth things over, because, he explained, this special flower of a man was about to become his father-in-law.The ceremony was uncomfortable.Border guards are not intelligent people.Sounds like a customer I just got off the phone with.The incident occurred on Monday at the Aldergrove border crossing, east of Vancouver, shortly after 12 p.m. Mr. Fortunato, a dance studio director, was travelling to his home in Blaine, Wash., to retrieve a wallet his wife had left during their most recent visit.The moral is there should be a law where we all have to be nice to faggots.

[Piddle Duck 0]

The content of this post is just to perfectly written to ever be seen in a quote box.

I go to Canada often since I am you know, 15 minutes away, and I never have problems with the Canadian border guards. But jeez, 9 times of of 10 I get hassled and searched by the American border guards.

[silkyjonson 1]

sigh at you quoting that horribly written paragraph, glaringly bad even for my poor standards.

[Piddle Duck 0]

sigh at you quoting that horribly written paragraph, glaringly bad even for my poor standards.

FIXED!

[Mercury69 3]

This is how it should have gone down:The COP: Turn your car off. GUY: A please would be nice. The COP: Come again? GUY: I said a please would be nice. The COP: Get it straight buster - I'm not here to say please, I'm here to tell you what to do and if self-preservation is an instinct you possess you'd better fucking do it and do it quick. I'm here to help - if my help's not appreciated then lotsa luck, gentlemen. GUY: I don't mean any disrespect, I just don't like people barking orders at me. The COP: If I'm curt with you it's because time is a factor. I think fast, I talk fast and I need you guys to act fast if you wanna get out of this. So, pretty please... with sugar on top. Turn the fucking car off.

"Now, excuse me, while I go to breakfast with my hot friend, Lacey, daughter of the owner of the junkyard where your dead guy got crushed"And, yes, far too many people in uniform are doucheclowns.