If Your Seeing The Aussie Gang Again Dn

[KramitDaToad 0]

You know you're Australian if:1. You know the meaning of the word 'girt'.2. You believe that stubbies can be either drunk or worn.3. You think it's normal to have a leader called Kevin.4. You waddle when you walk due to the 53 expired petrol discount vouchers stuffed in your wallet or purse.5. You've made a bong out of your garden hose rather than use it for something illegal such as watering the garden.6. You believe it is appropriate to put a rubber in your son's pencil case when he first attends school.7. When you hear that an American 'roots for his team' you wonder how often and with whom.8. You understand that the phrase 'a group of women wearing black thongs' refers to footwear and may be less alluring than it sounds.9. You pronounce Melbourne as 'Mel-bin'.10. You pronounce Penrith as 'Pen-riff'.11. You believe the 'l' in the word 'Australia' is optional.12. You can translate: 'Dazza and Shazza played Acca Dacca on the way to Maccas.'13. You believe it makes perfect sense for a nation to decorate its highways with large fibreglass bananas, prawns and sheep.14. You call your best friend 'a total b'stard' but someone you really, truly despise is just 'a bit of a b'tard'.15. You think 'Woolloomooloo' is a perfectly reasonable name for a place.16. You're secretly proud of our killer wildlife.17. You believe it makes sense for a country to have a $1 coin that's twice as big as its $2 coin.18. You understand that 'Wagga Wagga' can be abbreviated to 'Wagga' but 'Woy Woy' can't be called 'Woy'.19. You believe that cooked-down axlegrease makes a good breakfast spread.20. You believe all famous Kiwis are actually Australian, until they stuff up, at which point they again become Kiwis.21. Hamburger. Beetroot. Of course.22. You know that certain words must, by law, be shouted out during any rendition of the Angels' song Am I Ever Gonna See Your Face Again.23. You believe, as an article of faith, that the confectionary known as the Wagon Wheel has become smaller with every passing year.24. You still don't get why the 'Labor' in 'Australian Labor Party' is not spelt with a 'u'.25. You wear ugh boots outside the house.26. You believe, as an article of faith, that every important discovery in the world was made by an Australian but then sold off to the Yanks for a pittance.27. You believe that the more you shorten someone's name the more you like them.28. Whatever your linguistic skills, you find yourself able to order takeaway fluently in a variety of languages.29. You understand that 'excuse me' can sound rude, while 'scuse me' is always polite.30. You know what it's like to swallow a fly, on occasion via your nose.31. You understand that 'you' has a plural and that it's 'youse'.32. You know it's not summer until the steering wheel is too hot to handle.33. Your biggest family argument over the summer concerned the rules for beach cricket.34. You shake your head in horror when companies try to market what they call 'Anzac cookies'.35. You still think of Kylie as 'that girl off Neighbours'.36. When returning home from overseas, you expect to be brutally strip-searched by Customs - just in case you're trying to sneak in fruit.37. You believe the phrase 'smart casual' refers to a pair of black tracky-daks, suitably laundered.38. You understand that all train timetables are works of fiction.39. When working on a bar, you understand male customers will feel the need to offer an excuse whenever they order low-alcohol beer.40. You get choked up with emotion by the first verse of the national anthem and then have trouble remembering the second.41. You find yourself ignorant of nearly all the facts deemed essential in the government's new test for migrants.42. You know, whatever the tourist books say, that no one says 'cobber'.43. And you will immediately forward this list to other Australians, here and overseas, realising that only they will understand.Second version1. You're familiar with Neighbours, Home and Away, Playschool, A Country Practice, Norman Gunston, Barry Humphries, Blue Heelers, Ray Martin, Bert Newton, Lisa McCune, Jon Burgess, Number 96, Molly Meldrum, Kerry O'Brien, and of course, Kerry Packer and Rupert Murdoch.2. You know that Burger King doesn't exist. It's Hungry Jacks.3. You know that snow is a memorable and freakish occurrence. Sometimes it's even fake.4. You know the difference between thongs and a G-banger5. You know that "stubbies" are either short shorts or small beer bottles, a "gimp", "bogan" or "geezer" is a random idiot, someone in trouble is in "strife" and you're liable to burst out laughing whenever you hear of Americans "rooting" for something.4. You know how to abbreviate every word, all of which usually end in -o: arvo, combo, garbo, kero, lezzo, metho, milko, muso, rego, servo, smoko, speedo, righto etc. 5. You know that some ppl pronounce "Australia" like "Strayla" and that's ok.6. You know that there is a universal place called "woop woop" located in the middle of nowhere... no matter where you actually are.7. You know that while we call our friends 'mates', we don't use terms like 'shiela' and 'shrimp on the barbie', contrary to popular belief.8. You know that none of us actually drink Fosters beer because it tastes like shit. But we let the world think we do. Because we can.9. You know that if a man has sex with another man, he's a homosexual, and (until recently), a criminal in Tasmania10. You resent people who succeed over others- everyone should do the same thing, so we all get a "fair go"; a kind of 'American-dream' in reverse. This is why we actively like not liking Americans.11. You've seen Gallipoli, Crocodile Dundee, Young Einstein, Muriel's Wedding, The Castle, Beneath Clouds, Strictly Ballroom, 40,000 Horsemen, and maybe even Wolf Creek. 12. It makes you happy when someone in Hollywood is actually Australian... Mel Gibson, Nicole Kidman, Russle Crowe, Cate Blanchett, Baz Luhrman, Elle MacPherson, Olivia Newton-John, Midnight Oil, ACDC, INXS, Greg Norman, Cathy Freeman, Dawn Fraser, Pat Rafter, Ian Thorpe...13. One word: Skippy.14. You know that Sydney 2000 was one of our proudest moments in history. We just ****ing rock.15. You know that you are not going to die of cholera or other Third World diseases (remote Aboriginal communities are a different matter)16. You know our country has never been conquered by a foreign nation (you don't count 1788). 17. We know that the Metric system will always be better than anything inches, feet, pounds and farenheit will ever offer18. You drive on the left-hand side of the road.19. If you're a pedestrian and cars are stopped at a red light, you will fearlessly cross the street in front of them. 'Hit and runs' just aren't cricket. Because aussies stick together.20. You think of Australia as being somewhat out of place within the Asia-Pacific region; surrounded by unstable ex-colonial nations who regard you as racist, imperialist, and unfairly wealthy.21. You know that New Zealanders are basically our naive country cousins, who have a weird fush-and-chups accent, and for some bizzare reason, think that they invented pavlova. Bastards. They are to be pitied and laughed at. They have no hope of gaining the upper hand in the endless sporting rivalry between our two nations.22. You know that you can't eat Fantales alone... Otherwise who will you play the 'Who am I...' game with when you're reading the wrapper? 23. You know that Sydney should be the capital because Canberra is a hole.24. You know that Americans think we're all Steve Irwin clones. And crickey, they couldn't be more wrong.25. You know that Lawyers wear wigs and gowns. And we make it look good.26. You have some time in your life slept with Aeroguard on in the summer. Maybe even as perfume.27. You feel obliged to spread salty black stuff that looks like congealed motor oil on bread... and actually grow to like it. You've also squeeze Vegemite through Vita Wheats to make little Vegemite worms.28. You believe that democracy means the freedom to draw caricatures of good ol' Johnny Howard29. You think footballers dressing up in drag on TV is funny (but your son being gay isn't).30. You have the ability to compress several words into one - ie 'g'day' and 'd'reckn?'. This allows more space for profanities.31. You've ever used the words - tops, ripper, sick, mad, rad, sweet - to mean good. And then you place 'bloody' in front of it when you REALLY mean it.32. You know that the barbeque is a political arena; the person holding the tongs is always the boss and usually a man. And the women make the salad.33. The private lives of footy and cricket players become more important than local and national news stories.34. You say 'no worries' quite often, whether you realise it or not.35. You know what fairy bread tastes like, and you can't imagine your childhood without it.36. You know the first verse to the national anthem, but still don't know what "girt" means. And you're ok with that.37. You've drank your tea/coffee/milo through a tim tam.38. You know that backyard cricket is a nice way to bond with family and the rubbish bin. And the 'one bounce, one hand' rule always applies.39. You know that we are home to the just about all of the world's deadliest of animals. That's why if anybody messes with us we'll get some funnel webs on their asses.40. You see people walking bare-foot on the sidewalk and don't scorn.... because you're doing it too.41. You know what trop-fest is and it makes you happy.42. Sausage rolls and meat pies. End of story.43. You firmly believe that in the end, everything will be ok and have offered advice that included the words, "she'll be right, mate".44. You have a story that somehow involves an excessive consumption of goon... but you can't remember.45. You own a Bond's chesty. In several different colours.46. You've ordered a steak the size as your head and only paid $5 at your local RSL47. You know that Italy should never have been granted that fateful kick in the 2006 Soccer World Cup.48. You know how to slip, slop, slap like it's nobody's business.49. You've heard the Prime Minister dismiss anyone who disagrees with him simply as 'un-Australian', and that's enough to make us sit down and shut up.50. You know that the value of a public holiday is measured in terms of alchohol. God bless the queen and her 4-day birthday.

[TigerEyez8 0]

25. You wear ugh boots outside the house.What's wrong with that???38. You understand that all train timetables are works of fiction.Stupid Sh**tyRail47. You know that Italy should never have been granted that fateful kick in the 2006 Soccer World Cup.Thanks for reminding me, i was trying to forget about it!!!!

[junior009 0]

Super post mate....it all makes sense....no?

[Kaveros 0]

I understood all of it, but all of it was lame.

[gatortom64 1]

I liked Hungry Jacks!!!

[Southern Buddhist 1]

I've tasted Vegemite -- and then we threw it in the river behind my in-laws' house!I know exactly what "slip, slop, slap" means, but I'm not too observant about the slapping.

[KramitDaToad 0]

I understood all of it, but all of it was lame.

It's a maturity kinda thing.Don't worry, you'll get there one day.

[junior009 0]

40. You see people walking bare-foot on the sidewalk and don't scorn.... because you're doing it too.40 (a) If you ever called a footpath a sidewalk your mates would take the piss out of you something shocking!!!

[nutzbuster 7]

I was hoping that list would have been longer.*sigh

[donk4life 34]

That's a lovely accent you have... New Jersey?Austria.Austraila?! Good day mate'! Lets have a shrimp on the barbie!

[Kaveros 0]

It's a maturity kinda thing.Don't worry, you'll get there one day.

yeah because "You've drank your tea/coffee/milo through a tim tam." is totally something you have to be older to understand.

[KramitDaToad 0]

yeah because "You've drank your tea/coffee/milo through a tim tam." is totally something you have to be older to understand.

It's nothing to do with understanding, it's everything to do with with appreciating.But thanks for demonstrating my point.

[Kaveros 0]

It's nothing to do with understanding, it's everything to do with with appreciating.But thanks for demonstrating my point.

Are you serious?Because I think your list of bogan slang was a bit lame, that makes me immature?You have one very twisted perception of what maturity is.Next you will tell me I am uneducated and illiterate if I don't watch Kath and Kim.

[novalak 0]

www.koalanet.com.au/australian-slang.htmltry this

[AussieAndy 0]

Lol Love it nice post