LadyGhey 0 Posted February 26, 2008 Share Posted February 26, 2008 Pretty sure she's made it clear that she does'nt think theres anything wrong with the buckwheat look.Haha, "buckwheat look". Is that synonymous with "lesbian" or "hippy" or what? Link to post Share on other sites
El Guapo 8 Posted February 26, 2008 Share Posted February 26, 2008 Pretty sure she's made it clear that she does'nt think theres anything wrong with the buckwheat look. Shhhhhh. I'm trying to help strat out. Link to post Share on other sites
seemorenuts 0 Posted February 26, 2008 Share Posted February 26, 2008 Oh, I almost forgot:I love how when you fondle a fat chick's boobie, it feels like a bag of sand....and how between her legs, there's all this baby powder... Link to post Share on other sites
PokerKing 0 Posted February 26, 2008 Share Posted February 26, 2008 Since I got a few requests to read my stories I'll just make a thread for them. Here's my Biggest As shole in the World story. Everything written is 100% true. Don't tell me you just wasted your time reading this and it sucks, your being warned right now. I reread the stories last night and oh man, did I have an ego. Ryan is the Biggest As shole in the World Story FINAL COPY I knew I was an as shole before this happened, but I never knew how big of an as shole I was. I now know that I am indeed the biggest as shole in the world. A great title for a great man. The story goes as follows. I met this girl named Casey off of Myspace.com from Pelican Rapids, a town about 20 miles east of Detroit Lakes. Casey is a very attractive girl, but when I met her she had a boyfriend, normally I wouldn't care, but this time was different. I had just started to get over Joni and thought that hooking up with her while she had a boyfriend wouldn’t be a very nice thing to do. Hah (You'll get that joke later). So after weeks of talking to Casey online and chatting over the phone, we decided to hang out one night. I got a call on my cell phone, it was Casey and her cousin Michelle, and they were heading into Detroit Lakes to cruise. I fuking hate cruising, but I agreed to come along as long as I didn’t have to be the one wasting gas. We had a decent time hanging out and driving around. When we were driving around, she informed me that she and her boyfriend were finally through. I was jubilant over this news but kept it to myself. You gotta keep your cool, ya know? On the inside I was as giddy as a schoolgirl but on the outside I was as smooth as The Fonz. Our night was cut short, though, because I had to drive my friend’s drunken mother home. Yes, I put friends in front of pussy....sometimes. As soon as I get home, I find an email in my inbox that reads “Hey Ryan, What are you doing tomorrow, because I really want to get to know you more on a one on one basis”Yeaaaaaaa boi. That’s awesome. It doesn't take a genius to figure out what she meant by that. So, of course, I go over there the next day. We didn’t really have anything planned other than to just chill, so it didn’t take us long to be all over each other. At the same time we were hooking up, there was a blizzard going on. Glancing outside, I noticed the weather, but it didn't bother me, I've driven home through worse.It's about two in the morning when we finish, and I go out to my car. I step from her porch onto her driveway and instantly my knee gets engulfed in snow. “Uhhhhh, that's really deep.” I muttered.After trudging up her steep driveway to my car, I can see its no better on the road than it is on her driveway. Its only about 200 yards before the highway and safety, I can almost taste home. I made it maybe 20 feet. Awesome. Its 2 A.M. and I’m stuck in the middle of a goddamn road. I ended up going back to her house and sleeping with her until this lumberjackish looking fellow came and pulled me out to the highway. Big thanks to my man Paul Bunyan for getting me out.After that we start seeing each other a few days a week, mainly for the sex. One time I came to her house and her parents were home, her family was freaking out. Unaware of what was going on, I ask her mother, who said “My mom (Casey's Grandma) had to go back to the hospital today. She's not in real good health”. So I could only stay for few hours that night. Note: keep that in mind, because I certainly didn't.Now onto the good part of the story:I had just gotten my job at the Detroit Lakes Newspaper, and I wanted to celebrate. Casey and I had planned on partying on Tuesday. Although it's a school night, we didn't care, because we’re gangster like that. Anyway, we arranged that she would come to my house around 4 P.M., and we'd go out for dinner followed by great drunken-sex. A great celebration for a great job. So I come home from school around 4 P.M. and no Casey. So I waited till 4:45 to call her. When I called I found out she couldn't come today. I'm half infuriated and half disappointed. I could go out and have a good time with some other girl, but I'm kind of “with” Casey, so I decided to do the good guy thing and take it like a bitch. Good guys always take it like a bitch, because that’s what they are. I don't remember what the reason was for her not coming, but it was something along the lines of her mom not wanting her to leave today. What a gay excuse.So we make the same plans, just for the next day. Like before, when I came home she was not there. I waited till 4:30 this time to call her. She answered and said “Oh, I thought I wasn't supposed to come till later. Let me eat with my family and I'll be right over”. Now I expect her here by 6 P.M. at the latest. She normally eats at 5 P.M. and it’s only a fifteen-minute drive. Lying on the couch watching TV, I became impatient and thought about Kate, her friend who also likes me. I bet she would want to hang out with me. Kate and I have hooked up before, back when I dated Joni, but we haven't hung out in a grip. While I was lost in thought, the clock turned to 6 P.M. I gave Casey a call and got her voicemail. I figured I'd given her enough time; I dialed Kate’s number. Screw Casey; if she can’t get here, I’m going to party with her friend. I'm not going to let her ruin my night again. So I'm dialing Casey's number again (yea, I might have liked her a bit, enough for a second call at least) and got her voicemail again. Then I gave Kate a call, she answered and agreed to come over right away. About damn time, I'm wasting valuable daylight No sooner had Kate gotten here were we making out. It was passionate and fast paced. After nearly a half hour of this we stopped, we've forgotten the most important thing of the night...the alcohol. I called up my usual buyer...no answer. Then I call my other buyer and explained the situation, but she had to watch her kids. Kids ruin everything, and I encourage everyone to use a condom as to not have kids. Not getting any alcohol is a severe downer for the night. For a while we just sat there and contemplated what to do. We could have just regular sex but nah, that’s not interesting enough for Ryan McDonald. In a split second my eyes light up… WEED!I don't smoke pot a whole lot because I like to stay away from drugs, but this was a desperate situation. Besides, what kind of society do we live in where drugs are easier to get than alcohol? Shouldn’t it be the other way around? Whatever, though, I'm not out to change the world. I called Amber, a friend of mine that smokes pot, and asked if I could join her to toke it up. She agreed. We decided to meet in town near a local gas station. When they arrived, they were stoned already. It doesn't surprise me, though. Kate and I got into Amber’s car and ended up smoking right in the parking lot of the gas station. People were walking by watching us smoke and probably gasping in horror at the blatancy of our drug use. Fuk'em, though, right?After a few bowls, Kate and I head out and I have to let Kate drive. Amber was in stitches at this, because she can smoke pot and drive just fine. But me, I hardly ever smoke, so it hits me pretty hard. So Amber thinks I'm a big pussy. When I got back to my driveway the weed hit full effect. I got really close to Kate's face, practically touching hers with mine. And screamed “SHIT'S GETTING WAY TOO REAL, MAN!”Haha, yea, I was definitely high. I kept repeating that sentence for the next 10 minutes. We decided that going back to my house this high would not be a good idea, and we ended up on the other side of my neighborhood. We started making out and throwing our clothes all over the car. Making out soon led to sex. She basically did it all, though; I was way too out of it to do much of anything. During the sex, I kept forgetting where I was, zoning out and coming back to reality and thinking “Oh yea, I'm fuking Kate right now, how did that happened?” How very romantic, huh? I didn’t want to tell Kate this, though, because I wasn't only just fuking Kate, I was taking her virginity. After finishing up, we hung out for a while longer before she had to go back home. She dropped me off somewhere around 11 P.M., a little late for a school night but no big deal. I was thinking it was a pretty good night and I didn’t want to cap it off just yet, so I went downstairs and right onto the computer. Guess who I saw online? Yea, Casey. She immediately messaged me, “OMG, I'm so sorry I couldn't make it. I was eating with my Grandma and family when my Grandma had to be rushed back to the hospital. I left my phone at home in the rush, so I couldn't answer your calls.”Uhhhhhhh, Oops. Right away I felt like an as shole. I fuked her friend because Casey went with her grandma to the hospital. I tried to justify it by saying that I didn't know why she didn't show up, but in the end I'm still an ass. I decided I should tell Casey. Keeping things secret doesn't usually work out for me. Mistakenly I told her pretty bluntly “Casey, I fuked your friend Katie.”“You did what?! You fuking bastard!” I guess she didn't find the humor in it. At least I found it a little funny, but I guess that's just my dark humor for you. I tried to apologize “Uhhhh, my bad.” But nothing could calm her down. Why can't girls just forgive you for a simple mistake like this? Ha. To say the least, Casey and I don't talk anymore. It was a simple miscommunication that turned out horrible for both sides. I lost my shot at a hot (and very rich) girl and she lost me (the hero). Let's recap shall we?I got high with Casey's good friend Kate, and we ended up fuking at the exact same time Casey was behind an ambulance taking her Grandma to the hospital. I am the biggest as shole in the world.Ok i am kind of lost so, you slept with your GF grandma?? I am not sure. Your a fag if you slept with some one older then 40.Good luck when your GF finds out. Link to post Share on other sites
loogie 115 Posted February 26, 2008 Share Posted February 26, 2008 Ok i am kind of lost so, you slept with your GF grandma?? I am not sure. Your a fag if you slept with some one older then 40.Good luck when your GF finds out.Huh?Sleeping with someone over 40 qualifies you as a fag? Do you find yourself calling people fags a lot? Someone needs to watch American Beauty again and learn a little about himself. Link to post Share on other sites
PokerKing 0 Posted February 26, 2008 Share Posted February 26, 2008 Huh?Sleeping with someone over 40 qualifies you as a fag? Do you find yourself calling people fags a lot? Someone needs to watch American Beauty again and learn a little about himself.How old are you? If you are older than 40 please do us all a favor, and ban yourself. Link to post Share on other sites
El Guapo 8 Posted February 26, 2008 Share Posted February 26, 2008 How old are you? If you are older than 40 please do us all a favor, and ban yourself.Um, well if you had sex with a 40 year old it would be rape, so I guess I see your viewpoint? Link to post Share on other sites
loogie 115 Posted February 26, 2008 Share Posted February 26, 2008 How old are you? If you are older than 40 please do us all a favor, and ban yourself.Us all? To whom are you referring?I'm not 40 yet, but when I am, you can ALL rest assured that I will discontinue all sexual activity. No one's mistaking this guy for a fag. Link to post Share on other sites
ShakeZuma 585 Posted February 26, 2008 Share Posted February 26, 2008 Us all? To whom are you referring?I'm not 40 yet, but when I am, you can ALL rest assured that I will discontinue all sexual activity. No one's mistaking this guy for a fag.OH SHIT! when my parents had me my dad was over 40! fuck! my dads a fag! damn it man. Link to post Share on other sites
PokerKing 0 Posted February 26, 2008 Share Posted February 26, 2008 OH SHIT! when my parents had me my dad was over 40! fuck! my dads a fag! damn it man.Sorry that has to suck to find that out. Link to post Share on other sites
El Guapo 8 Posted February 26, 2008 Share Posted February 26, 2008 OH SHIT! when my parents had me my dad was over 40! fuck! my dads a fag! damn it man.Always braggin Shake. Link to post Share on other sites
PokerKing 0 Posted February 26, 2008 Share Posted February 26, 2008 Um, well if you had sex with a 40 year old it would be rape, so I guess I see your viewpoint?Exaclty you could not be more right, grapo. Thanks for the input. Link to post Share on other sites
speedz99 145 Posted February 26, 2008 Share Posted February 26, 2008 Ok i am kind of lost so, you slept with your GF grandma?? I am not sure. Your a fag if you slept with some one older then 40.Good luck when your GF finds out. How old are you? If you are older than 40 please do us all a favor, and ban yourself. Sorry that has to suck to find that out.The joke accounts around here get dumber by the day. Link to post Share on other sites
PokerKing 0 Posted February 26, 2008 Share Posted February 26, 2008 The joke accounts around here get dumber by the day.Ya they do. like your avitor, what is that?? plus you are deffinetly older then 40, prob closer to 60. Link to post Share on other sites
Theraflu 1,035 Posted February 26, 2008 Share Posted February 26, 2008 Ya they do. like your avitor, what is that?? plus you are deffinetly older then 40, prob closer to 60.Is that a guy who flys planes? Howard Hughes type? Link to post Share on other sites
Matt_Damon 0 Posted February 26, 2008 Share Posted February 26, 2008 Ya they do. like your avitor, what is that?? plus you are deffinetly older then 40, prob closer to 60.Matt Damon. Link to post Share on other sites
ShakeZuma 585 Posted February 26, 2008 Share Posted February 26, 2008 Matt Damon.it just doesn't stop being funny. and I really have no idea why. Link to post Share on other sites
speedz99 145 Posted February 26, 2008 Share Posted February 26, 2008 Ya they do. like your avitor, what is that?? plus you are deffinetly older then 40, prob closer to 60.Let's not do this. Link to post Share on other sites
PokerKing 0 Posted February 26, 2008 Share Posted February 26, 2008 Matt Damon.Rounders it such a good movie, my dad and i watch it almost everyfriend, unless he goes to the mens club or something. Link to post Share on other sites
PokerKing 0 Posted February 26, 2008 Share Posted February 26, 2008 Let's not do this.What are you my teacher. Link to post Share on other sites
loogie 115 Posted February 26, 2008 Share Posted February 26, 2008 Rounders it such a good movie, my dad and i watch it almost everyfriend, unless he goes to the mens club or something.I'm just not down with the slang these whippersnappers are slinging these everyfriends. Link to post Share on other sites
ShakeZuma 585 Posted February 26, 2008 Share Posted February 26, 2008 What are you my teacher.its just... you should be punished. I'm gonna chop off your arms. Link to post Share on other sites
speedz99 145 Posted February 26, 2008 Share Posted February 26, 2008 I'm just not down with the slang these whippersnappers are slinging these everyfriends.I don't think that "everyfriend" is slang. I'm calling it right now that this is a dupe account. It has to be.The only question is who. Link to post Share on other sites
loogie 115 Posted February 26, 2008 Share Posted February 26, 2008 I'm just not down with the slang these whippersnappers are slinging these everyfriends.Oops. I totally misused the term 'everyfriend' in this sentence. Embarrassing. Link to post Share on other sites
loogie 115 Posted February 26, 2008 Share Posted February 26, 2008 I don't think that "everyfriend" is slang. I'm calling it right now that this is a dupe account. It has to be.The only question is who.Yeah, I figured. But I'm guessing that the real poster's intelligence is only slightly higher than that of his alterego. Link to post Share on other sites
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