Jump to content

Is Homosexuality Really A Sin?

Recommended Posts

I realized a bit ago that it may be unfair of me to come in and just snipe others without actually answering the threads question myself.


Is homosexuality a sin? Of course it is.


This isn't just based on biblical knowledge either, I actually, literally spoke with god about it last year and heard it from the man himself. I was making a podcast of my interview with the lord, knowing that it would be of great interest to, well, just about everyone on earth. Unfortunately, when I went to edit it for air, I discovered that gods voice isn't actually recordable by human technology. When I played it back you could hear my questions and comments perfectly, but whenever god was "speaking" in the conversation the speakers would just tremble and emit a dull slow-moving light.


Don't ask me how the light moved slower than light, I don't know.


Anyway, I can recite from memory our conversation, or, more specifically, the part of our conversation that is relevant to this thread.


Spade: So, this whole homosexual thing, what's the deal with that?


Lord: Yeah, totally not cool. Absolute no-go.


Spade: So that is what was meant with the whole "lay with another man" thing. But what about shellfish, tattoos, hair of a certain length and so on. Many of your followers have taken to breaking those all the time, are they in just as much trouble?


Lord: Haha. No, Me no. Those were, what I thought, obvious jokes. I was trying to put a little humor in there and toss out some obviously silly and arbitrary things to give people a chuckle. Everyone at the time took them seriously though and it was all quite embarrassing. As you probably know I live outside of time, and there were occasions I was using dry humor that was easily lost on illiterate sheep herders 2000 years ago, not really considering the "time" in which I was communicating, from a human perspective.


Spade: Ah, heh. But the gay thing, you were serious about that one.


Lord: (Spademan note: gods "face" grew quite serious here, and the earth shifted almost imperceptibly beneath our chairs and the lights flickered on and off) Yes. Deadly serious. If there is one thing I am concerned with, and please remember that I am responsible for creation of everything - from quantum foam to neutrinos to quarks to atoms to DNA to dust mites to beans to cacti to elephants to mountains to meteors to moons to planets to stars to black holes to nebula to galaxies to faxions to your universe and the 26 other universes and...


Spade: Faxions? 26 other universes?


Lord: Oh, HAHA. ****. You haven't discovered faxions yet have you, it's what, 2015, 2016? Haha, my fault. Yeah. And you'll never be able to observe the other universes, the light is already past the point where they could ever, ever reach you, so you might as well just ignore that outside of a personal bit of trivia.


Anyway, yeah. I created all of that. I have also woven into the fabric of all that is certain rules, mathematical constants and whatnot, so as to give a structure and order to matter that finite beings such as yourselves - no offense to you personally, I made you so that you are more like me, so some of this does not apply to you personally - so that finite beings can comprehend existence. I provided the capacity for understanding beauty, truth, art and many other things which are, basically, almost beyond you capacity to quantify with actual certainty... I've made actual knowledge impossible to have any basis in certainty (though it is hilarious to see epistemological philosophers try), to allow humans to have mystery and wonder in constant supply. I have provided free will, of a sort, though that is quite complicated to explain. In short, I know everything and am everywhere, past present and future, but I TURN MY HEAD quite a bit and FORGET things. So, free will.


Spade: Hmm


Lord: I know it sounds like bullshit but dude, come on. I'm for reals. So, I created all of these things, but I'm going to tell you this: there is nothing I think about more than one dude sticking his dick in another dude. Oh my fucking Me am I obsessed with that shit. They're all hairy and, ugggghh, it's so icky. And I CLEARLY made the penis to fit inside of the vagina. CLEARLY. People POOP from their butts! And men are supposed to be... manly. They are supposed to be aggressive and angry and are supposed to want to watch football. If it is two men, like, who is the one who is going to want to cuddle? One of the men? EWWW, FUCKING GROSS. Be a man, dude. It just makes me very uncomfortable.


How am I supposed to look upon my works and think it is good if there are two hairy dudes gyrating naked in my field of view? Like, what the fuck?


Spade: That all seems very ignorant. But, you only spoke about male homosexuals, what about females?


Lord: Oh no they're totally hot.




It was at this point the conversation shifted to whether or not there was alien life in our universe and if we would every have contact, which turned out to be a very enlightening subject. But that isn't germane to the thread so I'll digress.



So yes, Westboro is right: god hates fags.

  • Like 2
Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Replies 1.1k
  • Created
  • Last Reply

Top Posters In This Topic

Top Posters In This Topic

Popular Posts


I'm more of an Otter man myself, F.

  • 6 years later...
On 12/23/2006 at 4:59 AM, DanielNegreanu said:

Have you ever considered the possibility that the Bible doesn't actually condemn the homosexual lifestyle? That instead of asking people who were born as homosexuals to pray to become straight, they should be accepted as followers of Christ regardless of their sexual orientation? The idea that a homosexual is living a life of sin has NEVER sat well with me and I have a tough time believing it. There is far too much evidence supporting the fact that people are born homosexuals and that it's not a choice, nor is it a mental disorder. In reading the following: http://www.soulforce.org/article/homosexua...e-gay-christian I found lots of information that supports the idea that homosexuality is not a sin. I haven't had a chance to verify the facts written in this piece yet, but I plan on looking at both sides of it. I found the informaton on Sodom to be extremely interesting. There seems to be so much misinformation about the fall of Sodom and the reasons for it. It's quite a long read, but I think it's interesting.

I hadn't connected the bible's story about Sodom and Gomorra with sodomi until I read this, and I'm 45 years old. What sexual position is Gomorra then?

No, seriously, sin means getting astray from god and we all try to do our best (what else should we do). The question is if God is trying his best. And for whom.

More importantly, I piss on you and I piss on your... well maybe that's enough. I couldn't care less about penises, vaginas and penetration. Breasts are nice though.


The bible is made for cherry picking. In the old testament, god kills almost the entire humanity, in the new testament Jesus says that you should forgive your brother 70 * 7 times.


Link to post
Share on other sites

Also note that:

* Jesus never learned anything from somebody he met. He always gets the last word in the bible. It's a bad, narcissistic hero story where people has to throw themselves in front of his feet to get his help. Spiderman would have done it for free.

* He never did any real work, just miracles. He picked up a number of fishermen as disciples, then stood at the front of the boat, and when they didn't get a single fish he told them to throw the net on the other side of the boat, and they got so much fish that they could almost not bring it up.

* Why would you want to walk on water when you have a boat?

* The book of revelations mentions drinkers and wizards as some of the people that will be thrown into the lake of fire, but Jesus himself did miracles and he turned water into wine. Christians try to explain this by saying that it was alcohol free, but that's not true.

* A rich man asked him what he should do to get eternal life; he had followed all the commandments. Jesus said: one thing is missing, give all your money to the poor and come follow me. Why not encourage him to start a shoe factory and employ the poor?

* When one of the disciples tried to protect Jesus and cut a guys ear of, Jesus said "don't you think I could have my father call down an army of angels". Then he let his followers die... one was crucified upside down, and john the baptist was beheaded.

* Christians solve all the worlds problems, for example too much dancing, gambling, hair, homosexuality or piercing, by condemning it and calling it sin, when they're just symptoms (substitutes), not the problem. It's all black/white.

* Good luck finding a priest that just listens to you, instead of preaching. And the music in the church sucks. The art too. And the seats.


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now


  • Create New...