Help Me Please

[MapleLeafpoker 1,462]

All of you on here are like friends to me. You should know that if ever you were in a time of need, I would be there for you. So Im hoping, in this situation, you can be there for me. A once in a lifetime opportunity is staring me in the face, and I cant do it alone. Yes, the Carolina Hurricanes are for sale. (well, half of them anyway) Karmanos seeks partner for Canes I'm looking to make a bid for half the Carolina Hurricanes. Forbes pegged the Canes value at 177million, and with Pete K willing to sell 50%, I think I can get this thing for about 80million. After talking with the wife, and emptying the kids piggy bank, Im about 79,990,000 short. (give or take about 1k depending on if Philly wins the Cup)This is where you come in, my good friends. I need you to help me realize my lifelong dream. Im also willing to give those who donate the most their own special perks within the organization. Here are the respective sponsor packages: $5,000- You get a signed Chad Larose hockey stick, Jussi Jokinen game used jockstrap and a warm hug from Cam Ward $25,000- You get to drive Rod Brind'Amour to his 2-a-day workouts and drop off Samsonov at the airport and you get to tell him hes been traded for an 8th round pick in 2020. Feel free to kick his ass if you can pony up another $25,000. Trust me, the police in Carolina wont even bother you. $500,000- Two tickets to a game vs the Leafs. A game we will make sure the Leafs win. (hi there SB) $1,000,000- 1 exhibition game where you get to line up with Staal+Ruutu on the wing, or partner with Jamie McBain on the blueline. Throw in another million, you can play net. $5,000,000- Get to be in on team decisions with me. (I plan on pretty much using Rutherford as my puppet). First thing, trade all picks!ps- Two added bonuses to any donor. One, I will be pulling a coup, and taking the team back to Hartford before the season starts. And two, as an owner, you get your name on the Cup, since we're gonna win it next year with my (our) shrewd moves.

[Zach6668 513]

Nice brag post about your net worth.

[MapleLeafs 142]

Put me down for a fiver.

[ajs510 122]

$5,000,000- Get to be in on team decisions with me. (I plan on pretty much using Rutherford as my puppet). First thing, trade all picks!

You had me locked up until this point...GG $5 million.

[MapleLeafpoker 1,462]

You had me locked up until this point...GG $5 million.

can I get you back if I make you head of my scouting department?come on, you dont need draft picks to set up a good farm.....I know you'll be creative enough to pull it off. you guys can also feel free to make special requests or set up new sponsor programs. Im pretty much willing to do anything to get this done.

[Zach6668 513]

Do you own a Blackberry?

[Derswick 0]

Do you own a Blackberry?

Would owning Blackberry qualify?

[ajs510 122]

can I get you back if I make you head of my scouting department?come on, you dont need draft picks to set up a good farm.....I know you'll be creative enough to pull it off.

Assistant General Manager and Director of Amateur Scouting. Man, it feels good writing my dream job title down. I need to win Powerball this weekend fo sho.

Would owning Blackberry qualify?

I'm afraid that's an immediate disqualification on grounds that will neither be rationalized nor explained. It's nothing personal.