David_Sklansky

I remember watching ping pong during I believe the Beijing Olympics, and the color guy noted that there were like 50 Chinese players who didn't make the team who were ranked ahead of anyone on the next best team (Korea?). That's what Texas brisket is. There are a million morbidly obese Texans making brisket in gas station parking lots right now, each of them humiliating the entire population of Carolina and KC and anyplace else that dabbles in barbecuing beef. Stick to pork, boys, it's a lot easier.

Looking into Q39, not my scene. I judge a BBQ place by their brisket, and here is what I now know about theirs: - They use a TON of unnecessary seasoning, before and after cooking - They use a Texas Crutch, which suggests to me that aren't committed to craftsmanship - They encourage the use of sauce. What are they trying to hide? I'm sure it's delicious, especially if you like KC-style sauce swimmers, but this is not how you make brisket.

I was mostly being cute about the fun at parties part, but I’m dead serious about addiction. Alcoholism is a pretty important part of making an unhappy life romantic and cool. Gambling is great too, but ask anyone what I was like to talk to when was gambling without drinking. I assure you it was awful. Also, the fact that I need to encourage you on this is a huge red flag to me. The only person I’ve ever known who was too depressed to care about xer drug additions very nearly committed suicide while sober. Luckily there were people like me in xer life to get xer back on track and off the

Smoke that shit right out of your head, playboy. At the very least stuff it down with brown. I know alcoholism isn't great for your life expectancy, but it doesn't halve it. Plus, it makes you fun at parties.

I highly endorse this. I don't mind some of those crazy peppers in their own contexts, but I hate the genre and the pretense of white boy heat, where you just flavorlessly pursue prank-grade spiciness. The habanero is the standard by which I judge chilies.

Re: teaching and money: A huge percentage of teachers seem to supplement their income with a pyramid scheme.

I think there needs to be a small white truck parked next to the scene of the accident, watching but not participating.

Teacher seems like the best job there is, other than the money. If I were in the position a lot of you guys are in, I’d probably be looking to marry rich. Most rich women aren’t going to be cool with you quitting your job to live a baller life as a house husband, but teaching is a noble and respected profession, especially if you tell people you retired from law to dedicate your time to our future, the children. What’s she going to say? And I f you do it right, you’re basically just wake n baking 9 months out of the year, roasting some poorly written papers or circular proofs or whatever, and

Are we talking about the Crash that everyone loved when it came out but then promptly never cared or thought about again as soon as Oscar season was over, or the Crash about people who sexually fetishize car accidents? Because I support the latter.

If Napa wants to fit into his old clothing again, he might consider starting.

Now, trail running is an option I would consider. I like to trail run in a snowy and cold climates in the middle of winter, but that's a lot lower impact and a lot less dangerous than icy concrete.

I was the biggest running evangelist there was throughout my 20s, probably because I was super lucky and never really got hurt. But slowly I started to have knee soreness and shit. My partner stopped running because we were afraid it was going to make xer feet unattractive. Xe bought an Arc elliptical like a year and a half ago and never looked back. I made fun of it until a few months ago, and now I'm fully on board. They are dope, especially for those into footplay.

That was James Joyce who was into his wife's poop. Also, the act of pooping on a glass table with someone underneath is known as a "glass-bottom boat."

I just learned that my partner pees in our pool pretty much every time xe's in it, and it’s turning me on so much. It’s like a humiliation thing from the desrespectful and inconsiderate behavior more than it is a direct piss fetish. I think I could get into a whole pool dom fetish, involving videos where people in sexy swimsuits neglect the filter and spill beers and shit.

The Fast and the Furious runs laps around MI.

I think it really depends how you evaluate the series. If you think Jack Reacher is a better and more memorable movie than Face/Off, you probably love every installment but the second. I’m with Big Mac on this one.

It's not that you can't play the victim, it's that you won't even try. Do you have any idea how many times I've gotten petty revenge on someone for something in which I was clearly the one in the wrong in the first place? You just have to commit to being the victim and see it through.

Philly cheese steak update: I saw this earlier, and I really hope there is a new trend of everyone piling on Philly, which is basically an inland Jersey Shore that makes a really embarrassing effort:

I've spent a lot of money on my kitchen, and I'm proud of it. But how often do you really get to hold it over someone how nice your kitchen is or how good your dinner is? It would probably require having someone you hate inside your beautiful house. That's why the BBQ is the ultimate American cooking experience. My neighbor has to smell everything I make, because if I'm cooking, everything from eggs to brisket to pizza to bread is being prepared outside. That's what the American Dream truly is, to make some yuppie feel like shit about his Blue Apron dinner when he walks his dog.

Now I kind of want to sleep with her too.

Better yet, it seems like this creep is all over Strat's GF. I say have her show up at his house, have sex with him, take a roofie, tell the police she doesn't remember what happened, and let the rape kit resolve this little matter of office politics.

I wish Tilty still posted, because I feel like this would be a key moment for him to show some growth. The idea of old white people having life experience that's valuable to younger people has always seemed like a joke to me because they don't generally seem to learn any lessons from experiences anyway, so I'd be curious if having his loyalty rewarded by being passed over for a promotion at his predatory lending job and then getting fired from Big Shed for getting cancer has caused him to start giving the opposite advice of what had previously cost him my respect.

(Note also, Nathan Fielder has a director credit on the second episode of Who is America?)