Too Much Fun

I haven’t gone out this much in about six years. Every night we are all out somewhere. The other night, I had dinner with Lori at the sushi place next to our hotel here at the W in Westwood. I dropped Lori off at the hotel and then went back to the Geisha house to meet Josh, E-DOG, and Boston Rob. The plan was to meet there for a couple drinks and then head over to the Laugh Factory. While I’m a reality TV freak, and knew the name Boston Rob, I still haven’t seen his appearance on either Survivor or Amazing Race. I had no idea what type of guy he was or anything like that. When I got there it was just Josh and Rob as Erick was still on the road. We ended up chatting for quite a while and found that Rob was quite the character. No wonder the public took a liking to him. Anyway, I explained to him why I liked Survivor so much, the poker aspect is what really intrigues me. He assured me that I’d be impressed with his “skillz” when I saw the shows he was on. I’m looking forward to it. E-DOG finally showed up and we headed over to the Laugh Factory. Outside the front door I saw a familiar looking dude. It was Theo, from the Real World, one of my other favorite shows. The first comedian we saw was pretty good. While I was there I got a text message from “Amazing Race Rob” and told him to join us. Him and Brennan showed up about 15 minutes later to see the next guy. He was “eh.,” not so good. Boston Rob wasn’t so kind with his words, he actually used the term, “Terrible.” Luckily the headliner was next. It was a black dude, but I forgot his name. Frankly, I just like black humor better that white humor. Not universally, but I generally find black comedians to be funnier than white ones overall. I just like their style better. This guy was awesome. His scripted stuff was “eh” but his improv was off the hook. He was making fun of everyone there. He actually cracked pretty hard on my peach shirt. We got to talking about Spades and I told him I’d destroy him at Spades (I was actually bluffing) and he told me I wouldn’t even be able to get into his neighborhood with that shirt on! Comedians that can play off the crowd are the type of comics I admire most. It must be so much tougher to be funny when you are always going off the cuff. After the show Boston Rob wanted to do some gambling. We played with the idea of having a freeze out, but instead we ended up making kooky prop bets for $500 a pop. I flirted with the $5000 mark but in the end we all ended up being close to even and called it a night. *************************************************************** The next day I planned on getting to the Commerce a little earlier to beat the traffic. So much for that idea. I woke up late and didn’t leave the hotel until 4:45pm and was supposed to be there at 6:00pm. Traffic was bad, but not insanely bad and I felt as though I was becoming accustomed to it. I was only a few minutes late, but then found out that the tournament wouldn’t actually start till about 7:00pm which gave me some more time to mingle. I caught up with some people I hadn’t seen in a while, and basically tried to keep moving around the room saying my “hellos.” I chit chatted with Adrian Young for a bit, the drummer from No Doubt, and have some inside scoop that they are actually going to be recording a new album soon. That’s awesome news, as I’m a big fan of their music. Finally, it was time to head over to my table. Sitting next to me was… Cheryl Hines! Yes, the Cheryl Hines who plays Larry David’s wife on Curb Your Enthusiasm, one of my absolute favorite shows. I had about a million questions to ask her about the show, but didn’t want to bombard her with them. We were chit chatting away when the final hand came down: I made it 150 to go with 99 and Cheryl called. The small blind made it 1000 to go and we both called that too. The flop came J 4 4. The small blind bet out 3000 and I folded after grilling the guy with questions about his hand. Cheryl thought for a really long time and I snuck a peak at her hole cards. She had the Ad Jd. Tough, tough, decision, but I think she ended up making the right play by calling the bet. The turn card came another Jack, and the small blind checked. Cheryl went all in and the small blind called with QQ. The river card Q, was the worst beat I’ve ever taken in my life. Sure, I didn’t lose the hand or anything like that, but man, I still had about a million questions for Cheryl! As for me, I went broke when I missed the following two drawing hands: 1) I had 3h 4h, Tony G had Ah Ad. The board read Qh 7h 6s 4c. I needed a 3, 4, 5, or a heart, but nothing. 2) I had 4c 4s my opponent had Ah Kh. The flop was Ac 2c 5c. In this hand I needed a 3, 4, or any club with two cards to come… nope. By that time Lori came by and so we hung out for a little bit. I went over to talk to James Garner when he busted out and he said something I found pretty funny. Lori wasn’t standing next to me, she was a table or so over. James looked over at her, and says, “She’s got some nice buns, that one does.” I reply back to him, “Oh, you mean my wife?” Then, I grabbed Lori to come over to meet James and I was impressed with the fact that he didn’t back down a bit, “Honey, you’ve got great buns. It’s nice to meet you.” We ended up hanging out at the Commerce all night, downstairs at the restaurant/bar. Once again, Casey (he spells it with a K, but I like spelling it with a C… because I can) Thompson was there with his girlfriend Shandy. We got to talking, and then Kasey, always the gambler, wanted to make a bizarre prop bet with me, “I’ll give you one full minute to eat 10 saltine crackers without drinking any water,” he says. Well, I’m not good with eating bets so I declined. He then tells me that he’ll give me three minutes to find anyone in the room to do it. So I headed into the tournament area and saw… John Juanda! Sweet, he can eat anything. I don’t know what it is about Asian dudes but they’ll eat anything. If anyone could do it, I was betting on John. I asked John if he thought he could do it and he seemed pretty confident. We headed down to the bar and lined up the crackers for John. John and I put down $10,000 each, getting 2-1 odds. He was chowin’ em’ down pretty good, when all of a sudden it looked like he was coughing up powder. At about saltine number 6, John just shook his head and threw in the towel. For the rest of the night, I was giving away a $1000 free roll to anybody who thought they could do it. One of the biggest security guard dudes I’d ever seen gave it a try… nope! Nobody could do it. Later that night, “Amazing Race Rob and Brennan” dropped by, and Rob came up with one of the neatest riddles I’ve ever heard: You are in a room with three light switches. Waaay down the hall is a light bulb that one of these switches controls. You can’t see the other room or the light from the other room from the room you are in. All three light switches are off and the light bulb is also off. Now, you can fiddle with the light switches any way you want. Then, you can go into the room down the hall where the light bulb is and come back to the original room where the switches are. There is one specific way you’ll know for certain which switch controls that light bulb. This isn’t a trick question at all, but you might have to think outside the box to get the right answer. I’ve never met anybody yet who got it. The bar we were at was starting to get full of people and we were all having a good time. My buddy Chris wheeled in later to hang for a while too. Chris is a guy I met a while back who plans on becoming a professional poker player. Chris is a funny dude. He is handicapped and gets around on his motorized vehicle, but one thing that works just fine is his tongue… that boy can talk some smack! I love messing with him. I give him grief all the time, and he gives it right back. Punk thinks he is going to beat me heads up? Please son, I’ll smoke you just like I told you the other night! Lori drove us home, and on the way we dropped Brennan off at his place. *************************************************************** The online poker thing has gone very badly for me recently. Patrick Antonius, one of the very best, has been absolutely crushing me. He is clearly a better player than I am, but man, if my wife Lori played him the other day she would have done about as good as I did and she doesn’t even play. It was one of the sickest runs of cards I’d ever seen in my 14 years of play, and it cost me $115,000 in a little over an hour. That’s what I call a spanking! So today when I got up I decided to play a little $0.25- $0.50 NL hold’em with some FCPers. I was up about $70 when the following happened: I made it $2 with AA and got three callers. The flop was 10-10-4 and I bet $3. Gilbertology made it $8 and I called.
The turn was an Ace giving me aces full and we got all of the money in. Gilbertology had 10-7 and the river was a…. a 10! Oh snap. Now the VERY next hand I got dealt AA again and made it $2. The big blind called, and the flop was A-K-10. He checked, I bet $5 and he went all for $25. I, of course, called and the turn and river were total blanks. What did he have? Q-J! How sick! How bad am I running… Good news is, that session only cost me $20!]]>