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Essay21

Member Since 16 May 2012
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*****

#3772312 I Called In Sick Today

Posted BigDMcGee on Today, 05:31 PM

View Postbrvheart, on 17 August 2018 - 03:34 PM, said:

That really is awful. I'm actually sad just thinking about it.

When ever I get sad, I thank you that I'm not Essay and it cheers me up


#3772308 I Called In Sick Today

Posted hank213 on Today, 02:53 PM

View PostEssay21, on 17 August 2018 - 09:18 AM, said:

About to lunch at Q39, the best barbecue in the world. If you're in KC make sure you partake, it will change your life.

View PostSuitedAces21, on 17 August 2018 - 01:56 PM, said:

i should note i don't eat pork or brisket, i eat only chicken.
jfc


#3772301 I Called In Sick Today

Posted Napa_Don on Today, 09:20 AM

Phone interview went fine. Should know middle next week if they want to move forward.


#3772260 The Trump Presidency Thread

Posted BigDMcGee on 14 August 2018 - 10:00 AM

Lets not forget all the people the Clintons had murdered.


#3772254 I Called In Sick Today

Posted Napa_Don on 14 August 2018 - 06:12 AM

Place I mentioned last week that had the supervisory roles wants to setup a phone interview with HR. Just a screener but itís still nice to have the confirmation that Iím at least somewhat desireable as an employee on paper.


#3772210 The Happy Birthday Thread

Posted hank213 on 09 August 2018 - 05:59 PM

Is very bad steal Jobu's rum.


#3772172 I Called In Sick Today

Posted BigDMcGee on 07 August 2018 - 02:53 PM

Get a load of this quant nerd Brvy


#3772113 I Called In Sick Today

Posted BigDMcGee on 04 August 2018 - 03:35 PM

Judging how long it is taking you to break up with your girlfriend, i expect you to complete your career change in the spring of 2043


#3772100 What Is The Last Movie You Saw?

Posted David_Sklansky on 04 August 2018 - 09:14 AM

I think there needs to be a small white truck parked next to the scene of the accident, watching but not participating.


#3772097 What Is The Last Movie You Saw?

Posted David_Sklansky on 04 August 2018 - 08:30 AM

Are we talking about the Crash that everyone loved when it came out but then promptly never cared or thought about again as soon as Oscar season was over, or the Crash about people who sexually fetishize car accidents? Because I support the latter.


#3771936 I Called In Sick Today

Posted brvheart on 28 July 2018 - 12:56 PM

I'm with Suited on this one. Poop is disgusting in every way.


#3771925 I Called In Sick Today

Posted David_Sklansky on 28 July 2018 - 09:53 AM

Jame Joyce said:

“My sweet little whorish Nora I did as you told me, you dirty little girl, and pulled myself off twice when I read your letter. I am delighted to see that you do like being ****ed arseways. Yes, now I can remember that night when I ****ed you for so long backwards. It was the dirtiest ****ing I ever gave you, darling. My prick was stuck in you for hours, ****ing in and out under your upturned rump. I felt your fat sweaty buttocks under my belly and saw your flushed face and mad eyes. At every **** I gave you your shameless tongue came bursting out through your lips and if a gave you a bigger stronger **** than usual, fat dirty farts came spluttering out of your backside. You had an arse full of farts that night, darling, and I ****ed them out of you, big fat fellows, long windy ones, quick little merry cracks and a lot of tiny little naughty farties ending in a long gush from your hole. It is wonderful to **** a farting woman when every **** drives one out of her. I think I would know Nora’s fart anywhere. I think I could pick hers out in a roomful of farting women. It is a rather girlish noise not like the wet windy fart which I imagine fat wives have. It is sudden and dry and dirty like what a bold girl would let off in fun in a school dormitory at night. I hope Nora will let off no end of her farts in my face so that I may know their smell also.You say when I go back you will suck me off and you want me to lick your ****, you little depraved blackguard. I hope you will surprise me some time when I am asleep dressed, steal over to me with a whore’s glow in your slumberous eyes, gently undo button after button in the fly of my trousers and gently take out your lover’s fat mickey, lap it up in your moist mouth and suck away at it till it gets fatter and stiffer and comes off in your mouth. Sometimes too I shall surprise you asleep, lift up your skirts and open your drawers gently, then lie down gently by you and begin to lick lazily round your bush. You will begin to stir uneasily then I will lick the lips of my darling’s ****. You will begin to groan and grunt and sigh and fart with lust in your sleep. Then I will lick up faster and faster like a ravenous dog until your **** is a mass of slime and your body wriggling wildly.Goodnight, my little farting Nora, my dirty little ****bird! There is one lovely word, darling, you have underlined to make me pull myself off better. Write me more about that and yourself, sweetly, dirtier, dirtier.”



#3771922 I Called In Sick Today

Posted Theraflu on 28 July 2018 - 09:36 AM

One of the "great" writers (Emerson? Thoreau?) had a series of letters to his wife discovered, and they're just increasingly gross about what gets him off. Sitting under a glass table while she shits on it, etc. Weird stuff.


#3771923 I Called In Sick Today

Posted David_Sklansky on 28 July 2018 - 09:47 AM

That was James Joyce who was into his wife's poop. Also, the act of pooping on a glass table with someone underneath is known as a "glass-bottom boat."


#3771894 I Called In Sick Today

Posted BigDMcGee on 26 July 2018 - 10:00 PM

Don't key his car. Buy some roofing nails and set one under one of his tires. Then wait a while, then do it again, different tire. Then wait a little longer and then do it again, rotating tires. Never slash them, never key anything. Don't do it often enough that he thinks it's malicious or someone is ****ing with his tires. Just do it often enough that he thinks he's getting really unlucky, and he's pissed because he has to spend all this time and money buying tires and wasting time. Keying will piss him off and cost him one day and shit that's covered by his insurance, probably. But the tires? It would start it get psychologically demoralizing for him. That's a real revenge.

Or, you know, **** his wife.