Ducks' Opinions Of Me

[Flushgarden 0]

I find that ducks' opinions of me are very much influenced over whether or not I have bread. Ducks love bread, but they do not have the capability to buy a loaf. That's the biggest joke on a duck ever. Like, if I worked in a convenience store, and a duck walked in and took a loaf of bread in its beak, I would let him go. I would say, "Come back tomorrow, bring your friends." When I think of a duck's friends, I think of more ducks. But heck, he could have like, a beaver in tow. Cause if you're an animal, you want to have a beaver as a friend, cause they have some kick-*** houses. That **** is on the lake. Lakeside my ***, lake on!Thought Id get in on the Mitch Hedberg action. That guy is cool. Too bad he's dead.

[Suited_Up 2]

That is a great one. Better when you hear it though.

[Flushgarden 0]

Yeah the way he talks...his rhythm when he's telling a joke, its just hilarious.

[Mitch Hedberg 0]

Speaking of ducks...I was in downtown Boise, Idaho, and I saw a duck, and I knew the duck was lost, 'cause ducks ain't s'posed to be downtown. There's nothin' for 'em there. So I went to a Subway sandwich shop, I said, "Let me have a bun." But she wouldn't sell me just the bun, she said that I had to have something on it. She told me it's against regulations for Subway to sell just the bun. I guess the two halves ain't supposed to touch. So I said, "Alright, well, put some lettuce on it," which she did. She said, "That'll be $1.75." I said, "It's for a duck." And they said, "All right, well, then it's free." See, I did not know that. Ducks eat for free at Subway! Had I known that, I would have ordered a much larger sandwich. "Let me have the Steak Fajita Sub - but don't bother ringing it up, it's for a duck! There are six ducks out there, and they all want Sun Chips!"

[Kurtman213 0]

I was hanging with a friend the other day and he said "Man the sky looks trippy today" So I said "Maybe it's not the sky that is trippy, but the way you percieve it that is trippy" then I thought "Man, I should of just said yeah" Snap, Crackle, Mitch and Pop, In hollywood it's all about who you know, and I know Pop