do u like me? check one

[KDawgCometh 2]

I don't know if I was the Mark that KDawg was referring to when he talked about trading war stories, but I would totally be down if there will be a night of heavy drinking in Chi-town.

you know what war stories I'm talking about :wink:

[76clubs 0]

Might as well fire off the Bloody Handjob story, while I have time:It's Freshman year of college.  One of my girl friends introduced me randomly to the girl who lived next-door to her in the all-girl dorm.  (I'd be remiss if I didn't mention I was attracted to her partly because she lived in an all-girl dorm.  Not sure why.)  Her name was Jenny, she was very good looking, and she was a dancer.  Which means she was ungodly flexible, and schooled in the ways of body-movement.Which means I wanted to hump her.So we hung out a few times, mostly around mutual friends, and she flirted and I ran my woefully inadequate game, and I thinks he bought it for some reason.  Nothing had really happened, yet, but then she invited me to her sorority formal.  If none of you have ever been to a date-party or other Greek function, it's basically just an excuse for girls to ask out random guys, dress up, and get slutty for an evening without feeling guilty.  I wasn't in a fraternity or anything, and had never been to one of these before, but a good friend of mine kindly explained the situation;  I went into the night fully expecting to finally get to at LEAST second base.  Third base was an option, but I wasn't getting my hopes up.The party/dance was fun, for a dance anyway.  I'm not much of a dancer, and she's a pro, so I just basically stood around and clapped my hands while she shimmied up and down around me.  My only job was to remain flacid all night, which I admit was pretty difficult.  I had to extricate myself from a few close situations after she got drunk and a little more- shall we say- "rubby."  So we get on the bus to go back home, and the atmosphere is... it's fucking weird man.  EVERY SINGLE couple on the bus- without exception- was making out 10 minutes into the hour-long ride.  Now, I'm a classy guy, and I'd never hooked up with this girl before, so I was feeling a little awkward.  I was pretty sure I was blowing it, and Jenny was getting anxious.  I just COULDN'T convice myself to stick my tongue down a girl's throat on a nasty bus.Then, the theme from Ghostbusters came on over the radio, and I said, "Aw, hell naw.  I gotta get after it now."  So we made out the rest of the way home.We got back to my dorm room, and had a few drinks with the couple (her best friend and mine) that we went to the formal with.  I had to take care of a little business (small-time drug deal among friends... story for another time), and then the other couple went to bed.  My roommate was due back, soon, so Jenny suggested we go to her place (in the all-girl dorm, where girls walk around in towels, and pillow fight, etc.), as her roommate was out of town.We got to her place, and started fooling around.  She was being flexible, and I was being awestruck, and then she looked at me and said, "Just so you know, I don't give blowjobs."  I kept my head up, even though I was massively disappointed.  At least that meant I was definitely picking up a tugjob.  I can deal with a tugjob, if I have to; I'm a classy, mature, respectful and reasonable gentleman.So, finally, she gets to it.  And it just wasn't working.  It... it just wasn't very good. It wasn't going anywhere, and when she asked if I wanted her to stop, I didn't want to hurt her feelings, so I told her to keep going.  Well, she kept going for a while, but I finally had to make her stop.  I lied, and said something about having a bad case of whiskey dick, and we rolled over and went to sleep.I got up in the morning, put back on my suit and tie, and limped home.  I had the ABSOLUTE worst case of blue balls ever, and the 5 minute-walk back to my dorm was just the worst thing ever.  I was hobbled, and I wasn't happy about it.  I finally got back to West Quad, and I had to use the head.  I got in there, approached a urinal, unzipped... and reacted in horror.  My underwear was STUCK to my wang.  I hurriedly unbuttoned and lowered my pants, and saw a very large, very RED/COPPER stain.  I nearly vomitted.I don't know if she used sandpaper or what, but somehow she actually- very very literally- rubbed my dick raw.  To the point of bleeding.I cleaned up, but for the next 2 weeks, everytime I snagged a boner, the cut reopened, and the whole ordeal had to be repeated.  I actively avoided porn and all sex-imagery of any kind (no television), but morning-wood was my downfall.Anyway, I was so mad at her that I discreetly leaked the story, and she picked up the nickname "Bloody Handjob."  She never forgave me for it, and  never touched my penis again.Wang

you have the best stories manthat sucks...i cant even imagine

my dick literally hurts at the thought of this

[mbreon 0]

I don't know if I was the Mark that KDawg was referring to when he talked about trading war stories, but I would totally be down if there will be a night of heavy drinking in Chi-town.

you know what war stories I'm talking about :wink:

Ha, yea I do....I just wasn't sure if you were referring to me or not. Yea, let me know when you are coming to Chi-town or Michigan. I'm always up for trading a few war stories.

[KDawgCometh 2]

I don't know if I was the Mark that KDawg was referring to when he talked about trading war stories, but I would totally be down if there will be a night of heavy drinking in Chi-town.

you know what war stories I'm talking about :wink:

Ha, yea I do....I just wasn't sure if you were referring to me or not. Yea, let me know when you are coming to Chi-town or Michigan. I'm always up for trading a few war stories.

well, I'm getting my wisdom teeth pulled in a couple of weeks, so I'll be in wilmette then for that, but, I will be out of comission. I'm going to be back in chicago full time for the next few years in at least 9 months(so, I should go find a chick to knock up and skip out on her, lol, things that I will say when drunk)

[mbreon 0]

well, I'm getting my wisdom teeth pulled in a couple of weeks, so I'll be in wilmette then for that, but, I will be out of comission. I'm going to be back in chicago full time for the next few years in at least 9 months(so, I should go find a chick to knock up and skip out on her, lol, things that I will say when drunk)

Right on. Not sure what state Wilmette is in or where exactly it's at....

[KDawgCometh 2]

well, I'm getting my wisdom teeth pulled in a couple of weeks, so I'll be in wilmette then for that, but, I will be out of comission. I'm going to be back in chicago full time for the next few years in at least 9 months(so, I should go find a chick to knock up and skip out on her, lol, things that I will say when drunk)

Right on. Not sure what state Wilmette is in or where exactly it's at....

wilmette is a land unto itself known as the north shore. I'm like ten miles north of the loop(when back in wilmette)

[mrdannyg 274]

Might as well fire off the Bloody Handjob story, while I have time:It's Freshman year of college.  One of my girl friends introduced me randomly to the girl who lived next-door to her in the all-girl dorm.  (I'd be remiss if I didn't mention I was attracted to her partly because she lived in an all-girl dorm.  Not sure why.)  Her name was Jenny, she was very good looking, and she was a dancer.  Which means she was ungodly flexible, and schooled in the ways of body-movement.Which means I wanted to hump her.So we hung out a few times, mostly around mutual friends, and she flirted and I ran my woefully inadequate game, and I thinks he bought it for some reason.  Nothing had really happened, yet, but then she invited me to her sorority formal.  If none of you have ever been to a date-party or other Greek function, it's basically just an excuse for girls to ask out random guys, dress up, and get slutty for an evening without feeling guilty.  I wasn't in a fraternity or anything, and had never been to one of these before, but a good friend of mine kindly explained the situation;  I went into the night fully expecting to finally get to at LEAST second base.  Third base was an option, but I wasn't getting my hopes up.The party/dance was fun, for a dance anyway.  I'm not much of a dancer, and she's a pro, so I just basically stood around and clapped my hands while she shimmied up and down around me.  My only job was to remain flacid all night, which I admit was pretty difficult.  I had to extricate myself from a few close situations after she got drunk and a little more- shall we say- "rubby."  So we get on the bus to go back home, and the atmosphere is... it's fucking weird man.  EVERY SINGLE couple on the bus- without exception- was making out 10 minutes into the hour-long ride.  Now, I'm a classy guy, and I'd never hooked up with this girl before, so I was feeling a little awkward.  I was pretty sure I was blowing it, and Jenny was getting anxious.  I just COULDN'T convice myself to stick my tongue down a girl's throat on a nasty bus.Then, the theme from Ghostbusters came on over the radio, and I said, "Aw, hell naw.  I gotta get after it now."  So we made out the rest of the way home.We got back to my dorm room, and had a few drinks with the couple (her best friend and mine) that we went to the formal with.  I had to take care of a little business (small-time drug deal among friends... story for another time), and then the other couple went to bed.  My roommate was due back, soon, so Jenny suggested we go to her place (in the all-girl dorm, where girls walk around in towels, and pillow fight, etc.), as her roommate was out of town.We got to her place, and started fooling around.  She was being flexible, and I was being awestruck, and then she looked at me and said, "Just so you know, I don't give blowjobs."  I kept my head up, even though I was massively disappointed.  At least that meant I was definitely picking up a tugjob.  I can deal with a tugjob, if I have to; I'm a classy, mature, respectful and reasonable gentleman.So, finally, she gets to it.  And it just wasn't working.  It... it just wasn't very good. It wasn't going anywhere, and when she asked if I wanted her to stop, I didn't want to hurt her feelings, so I told her to keep going.  Well, she kept going for a while, but I finally had to make her stop.  I lied, and said something about having a bad case of whiskey dick, and we rolled over and went to sleep.I got up in the morning, put back on my suit and tie, and limped home.  I had the ABSOLUTE worst case of blue balls ever, and the 5 minute-walk back to my dorm was just the worst thing ever.  I was hobbled, and I wasn't happy about it.  I finally got back to West Quad, and I had to use the head.  I got in there, approached a urinal, unzipped... and reacted in horror.  My underwear was STUCK to my wang.  I hurriedly unbuttoned and lowered my pants, and saw a very large, very RED/COPPER stain.  I nearly vomitted.I don't know if she used sandpaper or what, but somehow she actually- very very literally- rubbed my dick raw.  To the point of bleeding.I cleaned up, but for the next 2 weeks, everytime I snagged a boner, the cut reopened, and the whole ordeal had to be repeated.  I actively avoided porn and all sex-imagery of any kind (no television), but morning-wood was my downfall.Anyway, I was so mad at her that I discreetly leaked the story, and she picked up the nickname "Bloody Handjob."  She never forgave me for it, and  never touched my penis again.Wang

best typo everi think the forum should take up a donation. we'll use it to by alcohol and send to iceman, with the intent on creating as many stories as possible.

[Shimmering Wang 1]

best typo everi think the forum should take up a donation. we'll use it to by alcohol and send to iceman, with the intent on creating as many stories as possible.

Shit, bitch, I ain't got no job; save up money and if I'm in your town I'll get drunk with you and let you create your own stories. If you get me drunk (pint of Popov, Litre of Diet Mtn. Dew, and some beer), I'll give you exclusive RIGHTS to the stories.Hell, buy me a 2 dollar draft and you can have'em allWang

[RonBurgundy 0]

best typo everi think the forum should take up a donation. we'll use it to by alcohol and send to iceman, with the intent on creating as many stories as possible.

Shit, bitch, I ain't got no job; save up money and if I'm in your town I'll get drunk with you and let you create your own stories. If you get me drunk (pint of Popov, Litre of Diet Mtn. Dew, and some beer), I'll give you exclusive RIGHTS to the stories.Hell, buy me a 2 dollar draft and you can have'em allWang

you mix with diet mt. dew? interesting.

[mrdannyg 274]

best typo everi think the forum should take up a donation. we'll use it to by alcohol and send to iceman, with the intent on creating as many stories as possible.

Shit, bitch, I ain't got no job; save up money and if I'm in your town I'll get drunk with you and let you create your own stories. If you get me drunk (pint of Popov, Litre of Diet Mtn. Dew, and some beer), I'll give you exclusive RIGHTS to the stories.Hell, buy me a 2 dollar draft and you can have'em allWang

you mix with diet mt. dew? interesting.

I am also curious about this. Please elaborate