turd ferguson

A three way with your brother and you? I'm there!

So sexy.

I hadn't planned on it, but I would if round trip tickets weren't $1,000.

Yeah, that's my cell phone, but I left it at home today and sometimes my friends answer it if they hear it ringing. Sorry about that.

I'm still going to do both of those things. Although I am quite disappointed in the Air Force's intolerance of pot heads. Think I could win a discrimination lawsuit?

That's Turdsy to you.

People really call you Beans in real life? How cool is that? I'm going to have everyone call me Turd or Turdsy or Turdalicioius from now on. Starting.......NOW!

Hey beans. I would respond to your pm, but your inbox is full. What's your real name? I hope to be pretty drunk and/or stoned when I meet you, but I think I might still be embarrassed to have to actually call you beans.

Of course I meant it gayly........and sexually.

Can you choose where they poke?

True story. That guy is hilarious. Will he be in vegas this week too? I think those are called honey bees. Honeycomb is good munchies though.

I'm still not following you. Your humor has always been a little over my head.

Finding it usually isn't a problem, but my normal supplier is in jail for the next six days, and for some reason nobody else is answering their phones.

No skills, and I'm extra lazy. I guess I could always get a job at McDonalds, but it really isn't worth it.

Want to hear the bad stuff?-I'm unemployed-I'm unemployable-Getting fatter by the minute-No sex in weeks-Post on a poker forum-In debt-Can't find any weed tonight-Pimple on my nose-Thirsty-Gassy-UglyThere's more, but I don't have the attention span to continue.

So I'm officially out of mommy's house. I moved into a decent apartment with another guy (he's straight unfortunately). I still want to join the air force eventually, but I want to do a little school first. Anyway, I'm going to get high as fuck tonight if I can score some weed, and then leave for Vegas on Tuesday. Things are looking up.

This is why I hate people. Not nearly as much as we should. I'm going to be in vegas next week. Will he be back by then, and is there any way that you guys could get wasted and tell me stories as we glue dollar chips to casino floors? Gold.I didn't catch up all the way, and I think I'm glad that I didn't. Some of you guys take all of this way too seriously.

How did that tournament go? Was it last night? Speaking of which, that line Mk said about NC's razz hurricane was just about the funniest thing ever. I was pretty damn high when I read it, and couldn't stop laughing for at least ten minutes.

I really can't express how much I enjoy your misery. You're a funny bitch. I probably would have. Either I raise more on the flop or maybe I smooth call. Either way I like getting it in on the flop there. You're a favorite against almost his entire range of hands assuming he only raises with premium hands out of position preflop, which most players do. A lot of times I'll smooth call there because then he has absolutely no idea about your range of hands. Plus, you're in position so you have an advantage on the later streets. There's a lot of opportunities to be very tricky on the turn or esp

I hart you.

Not that it would matter even if you hadn't. He's not trying to say that you should change your mind. He's just saying your opinion was wrong and dumb.

Well I have been eating more lately.

I don't know shit for shit about tourney stats. Is that decent?

I think everything I had quoted was written by Shane. That guy fucking cracks me up. The rest of you suck. Could somebody check out my stats on thepokerdb? I can't log in because I forgot my password and the password to my email that I registered with. I even forgot the password to my stars account. Don't worry. I'm not interested in a stake, and I don't think I've even played in enough tourneys to have any idea if I'm good, but I'm a little curious about my stats. Help me out? My name is frank_stibor I think. Also, a short story to come about my afternoon. Probably the worst in recent memory.