[I Called In Sick Today]

Remember when we were talking about that bar of soap IQ?

I'm relying on this. I'm relying on it very, very hard.

[what music are you guys listening to?]

I've been listening to one of my favorite records from the calender year 2007 for most of the day. If anybody here likes Shoegazey sounding music (think: My Bloody Valentine), listen to: The Twilight Sad- Fourteen Autumns and Fifteen WintersIt's got the same "soundscapey" feel as a lot of shoegaze albums do, but it's also more accessible in a way, too. It's getting a good ranking in my Year End list.

[I Called In Sick Today]

I have zero problems showing my boobs. Trust me, mine are nicer.

I concur.Roar

[I Called In Sick Today]

It started off slightly strange right from the beginning. I rolled in wearing cargo shorts (back off, mrb) and a polo shirt…nice enough for the restaurant, not so nice that I looked like I was trying to impress. She was wearing what I can only describe as an evening dress. I think my high school girlfriend wore the same thing to our junior prom. She wasn’t especially made up, didn’t have on outlandish jewelry…basically she looked completely normal except for the fact that her dress would have been more appropriate during cocktail hour at the local country club.As soon as she opened her mouth I knew I was in more trouble than I had bargained for (I will be ‘M’, she will be ‘G’):G: Hey MattM: Hey Gremlin.G: Do you mind if a friend of mine joins us? She just started dating this guy, so…M: (confused stare lasting at least three seconds before she continued)G: …so we figured it would be fun to all have dinner together.M: No problem.It was a problem. Now not only did I have to deal with my mentally unstable friend, I had to meet new people and be friendly without making it seem like I was at all interested in Gremlin or being friends with them beyond the one meal.M: So are they sitting already?G: No, they’ll be here in about a half hour. Is that ok?M: No problem.Again, it was a problem. I hadn’t eaten since having a lean cuisine at 11:30am. I was starving and getting more and more agitated by the second. We passed the time by making small talk until she mentioned something about looking for a new job. This was my chance, since I knew that one of her problems when manic was that she had way too many jobs and activities to keep track of.M: So, looking for more jobs, huh?G: Yeah. I’ve been getting more manic lately. I have two jobs again, I’m volunteering, I got back into roller derby…M: (chokes on sip of water) What now?G: I told you about my roller derby. I’m on a team.M: Yeah, you might have. Go on...G: I don’t know, I just feel really manic. I can’t stop shopping and my heart always feels like it’s beating really fast. Like right now it’s going a mile a minute for no reason. I think it’s why I can’t pay attention in class, either. Sorry I’ve been texting you so much, but I can’t pay attention to the professor and I can usually see you sitting there…M: Where do you sit?G: Usually towards the back behind you.(I sit in a different place every day in a lecture hall that fits 500. Either this is a lie or she spends a few minutes every day scanning for my seat and sitting where she can watch me)M: Uh…so…what’s up with the other part of it? The schizophrenia.G: Uh, it’s pretty good. The meds are keeping it under control.M: (pauses for quick internal argument about whether or not to lie to you all and say she still hears voices) Nice.So then the friend shows up with her date. The girl was about 25, Native American, and absolutely gorgeous. She looked like the Disney version of Pocahontas. Her date was a 5’4” 30 year old Asian with trendy glasses and the gayest inflection in his speaking voice that I’ve ever heard. If this guy wasn’t daydreaming about cock during dinner, then I am Mickey Mouse.There’s really not much left to tell. Just picture me, the Gremlin in her evening gown, a Native American princess, and Mr. Sulu sitting down to a nice meal. At the end they went out to meet some other friends and I politely declined to join them.*bonus points to whoever caught the Mickey Mouse reference

Well done, all around. I bolded whatever portions I found particularly appealing. I especially like the reference to Mr. Sulu, and the character-break at the end of the last dialog where you ponder whether or not to lie to us. Also, the evening gown is hilarious. In my coming narration of the Ongoing Saga of Jess (which really isn't all that entertaining, by the way), there is also some disconnect between our respective levels of dress. In my case, however, it was semi-intentional and mean-spirited. Gremlin, Pocahontas, Mr. Sulu, and Dr. Katz's Son from the Squiggle Vision show that used to be on Comedy Central. That's how I now think of you. Dr. Katz's Son.Wa-Dammit.

[In Rainbows]

Finalized a purchase order, on credit, for 3/8 of 1 oz. marijuana, payment terms 2/10, 30, FOB. Debit- Radiohead Supplies 110 Credit- Acc. Payable- Scary Dealer 110

[what music are you guys listening to?]

i would punch that whiny ho right in his vag.

Me, too. Something about Connor Oberst has always really, REALLY bothered me. I think it has something to do with how much women adore his bitchy lyrics. I conclude that he is a faggot. I got a new 4G iPod nano that fell off a truck the other day. Sixty bucks, and it came with a portable wall-adapter charger thing. Working with ex-felons is really, really great. Nobody can ever fuck with me, either, because they are huge and I consistently forgive their debts and give them sound advice on a wide-range of topics.Yes, this is who you think it is. I'm in disguise, so try not to use my name (real, or former online identity) if possible. Roar

[I Called In Sick Today]

mk gets his shit torn up

Wow, son. You got your shit torn up.Roar.

[I Called In Sick Today]

I think Bear realized how utterly pathetic the Lions really are and is trying to save himself $25.

They'll still stumble ass-backwards into seven wins.

Here's something I don't get.After Michigan loses to Appalachian State (as an estimated 26.5 to 27.5 favorite) people said that they had absolutely no chance at the National championship even if they win out.Nobody has been saying that about USC after their loss to Stanford (as a 41 point favorite)

Do you really not see the difference? Appalachian State is NOT A DIVISION 1-A FOOTBALL TEAM. Secondly, Michigan being favored by 4TDs and being beaten is very different from a high-scoring, fast-paced team being favored by a greater margin. Lloyd Carr, for some reason, needlessly slows every game down, and pushes a more deliberate, plodding style than most teams with similar talent. Just because USC was favored by more does NOT mean their loss was a bigger upset; the point-spread is in part a factor of expected offensive production and game pace.

haha, tactical bear. what a faggot.

Indeed, my good friend. Indeed.What do I sign my posts with now? It's a weird habit I've gotten into, and I'm not quite sure how to adjust to the name. Bear? TB? I feel naked if I don't do it. Maybe I'll just sign off with "RAAAAAAAAAAAAWWWWR!"RAAAAAAAAAAAAWWWWR!

[I Called In Sick Today]

This is fucking hilarious. The person spying on him would have to have the IQ of a bar of soap not to figure it out.Either way, TB I think you owe us a few stories.1. who caught you and what they saw you say2. how did it go the other night with our little friendIf you can't tell either story here you damn well better PM them to me. Also, socal has a proposition for us that I'm into...it would be helpful to talk via IM but I'm not sure I'm ready to admit that you really exist...either of you.

I'll share the second story here, and PM you the other one when I get a chance. I'm in a computer lab right now pretending I give a flying fuck about econ and environmental science. I don't.

Do you really like diagrams and strategy (not that strategy) even though you don't even have opposable thumbs?

I am currently wearing a WWII era green army helmet and am standing in front of a big map labeled "Theater of Operations" with an old-school extendable metal pointer in my hand. I am very animated, and am gesturing enthusiastically while slapping the map with the pointer. I also like that strategy. Hibernal Bear

[I Called In Sick Today]

What the fuck's up fat bitches? What do you guys think of the new digs? Anybody want to do me a favor? Maybe make me a little house-warming present, help me get a little more comfortable? I need somebody to take my old avatar, and draw a fake mustache on it, then post it in the thread. That's going to be my new avatar. I think it's been done before (I want to say Ouch did some work), but I don't know where to find it and I'm too lazy to really try to do it myself. So if one of you could do that for me, I'd be forever indebted. Now: I'm sorry I had to do this, but I'm fucking retarded and, long and short, a couple people I know stumbled onto this place and discovered a link between Real Life Me and my handle here, so I was outed, and at least one of them was spying on me, and she was furious because I made fun of her for something. So, this is the new me. I'll be back with a story soon.EDIT- STOP SIGNING YOUR POSTS LIKE THAT!