ShimmeringWang

I bet the main reason the police keep people away from a plane crash is they don't want anybody walking in and lying down in the crash stuff, then, when somebody comes up, act like they just woke up and go, "What was THAT?!"

j l o c k 5000 (2:45:26 AM): I would like to inform youj l o c k 5000 (2:45:36 AM): That I am officially an internet celebrityWastyMcWasted (1:46:30 AM): Really? In what capacity?Auto Response from j l o c k 5000 (2:45:53 AM): I am away from my computer right now.j l o c k 5000 (2:45:58 AM): go to wikipediaj l o c k 5000 (2:46:03 AM): and search "cardwarfare"WastyMcWasted (1:47:12 AM): Don't think I won't!j l o c k 5000 (2:46:41 AM): seriouslyj l o c k 5000 (2:46:43 AM): do itj l o c k 5000 (2:46:55 AM): it was brought to my attention todayj l o c k 5000 (2:47:01 AM): by someone who wishes to

I have it, but I'm not giving it to you. This reminds me of a time in high school when I was watching a movie in class, and this girl who was the class whore dropped her eraser right beside my desk. She asked for it back, but I said "No, you're the class whore." It was awkward, until about 5 minutes later when I had sex with her in the middle of class. It was dark but I still think people knew what was going on.Fag.Wang

I will take my "ill-founded" superiority complex and spike it down my throat, but before I do, the following bulleted list of points will help convince you of my general awesomeness. Behold.You're a giant fucktwat I'm 99% sure my blog has a larger readership than yours and David Carradine has AIDS. I report on everday situations in a generally amusing way. My grammar is rarely if ever incorrect. Though unsuccessful by any standards society may impose, I will point out the flaws of others and systematically dismantle them in order to achieve a sense of well-being that I struggle to find in o

Nope

Of course, I like you alot. Do you really think I'm the very smartest?"If I lived back in the wild west days, instead of carrying a six-gun in my holster, I'd carry a soldering iron. That way, if some smart-aleck cowboy said something like "Hey, look. He's carrying a soldering iron!" and started laughing, and everybody else started laughing, I could just say, "That's right, it's a soldering iron. The soldering iron of justice." Then everybody would get real quiet and ashamed, because they had made fun of the soldering iron of justice, and I could probably hit them up for a free drink." - Jack

“If you saw two guys named Hambone and Flippy, which one would you think liked dolphins most? I'd say Flippy, wouldn't you? You'd be wrong though. It's Hambone.”- Jack Handy

j l o c k 5000 (2:45:20 AM): I would like to inform youj l o c k 5000 (2:45:30 AM): That I am officially an internet celebrityWastyMcWasted (2:45:48 AM): Really? In what capacity?Auto Response from j l o c k 5000 (2:45:48 AM): I am away from my computer right now.j l o c k 5000 (2:45:52 AM): go to wikipediaj l o c k 5000 (2:45:57 AM): and search "cardwarfare"WastyMcWasted (2:46:29 AM): Don't think I won't!j l o c k 5000 (2:46:36 AM): seriouslyj l o c k 5000 (2:46:37 AM): do itj l o c k 5000 (2:46:50 AM): it was brought to my attention todayj l o c k 5000 (2:46:55 AM): by someone who wishes to