Shimmering Wang

I made this joke in cartoon form between 3 and 12 months ago. I also made a joke about Kers2 being black, and one about LG being British. The latter had a joke about LG spelling JeffStrat's name "Geoff."None were funny, and I have no idea who you are, and I feel like I have not been here in a long time.

For a brief moment I read this as "Wagner," like the composer, and I thought, "That's a great nickname." Then I realized it was just my name with "er" at the end. (sigh) Oh well.Re: the boyfriend commentRon is the second (or third) person who has mentioned that he'd leave the "if you're serious about the boyfriend..." comment out. I suppose it doesn't matter, but that's the crux of my whole approach. My method relies upon a few things, very notably a lack of ambiguity. That's what we're trying to avoid, right? The ambiguity? The stupid awkwardness that might result from a request for a

I listened to Pete Yorn in college. A girl I knew was into Pete Yorn for some reason, and I wanted to bang her. I fully expected to hate it, but a quick cost-benefit analysis led me to conclude that: boner sex would be worth it. So I Yorn-ed it up. I enjoyed a few of the songs, but not all that much. "Strange Condition" and "Just Another" seemed particularly catchy. Anyway, to top it all off, I bought us tickets to a Pete Yorn show and boned her and and it was reaaaally awkward a few weeks later when I found out she used to sleep with my next-door neighbor. It was especially awkward whe

What a waste; you can see her nose just fine from a few city blocks away.

I am a degenerate, so I have found it doesn't matter. As long as the room has AC and a bed, it's all the same to me. If you are anything like me, you'll be in your room for a total of 9 hours the entire trip. Pick the cheapest place and taxi-cab it up.

Yeah, it's really not like that. Most of the big offices -- Senate, House of Representatives -- are divided and allotted by state, but almost all the decisions they make are national. The biggest problems actually end up being the pork that senators and State Reps write into federal bills, trifling but costly amendments that senators attach to important pieces of legislation at the last minute so their home states can get ridiculous benefits, which they can use to improve their chances for reelection.State governments have power, but most people I know can't name their representative in the

Ugh, the Pistons could have had Chalmers.... and they took DJ White.I am devastated. This is probably the closest I have been to drinking in 10 months. At least I won my "The New York Knicks draft Danilo Gallianari" prop at Bodog. That's right, you fucking bitches. Drop that shit after I bang it twice...

Jesus, you're a bigger wreck than I am. You have her phone number. Ask her out again, and be sure to make your intentions reasonably clear. "Hey, do you want to grab a drink sometime? Maybe get dinner? If you're serious about the guy you're seeing, hey, I totally understand. But I'd like to buy you dinner soon."If she says yes, you take her on a date, and you pretend she's completely single. You don't ask about the other guy, because it's none of your business. You pretend he doesn't exist. If she says no (shrug) who gives a fuck, right? Don't be a pussy and ask silly questions; just m

No better way to protect individual rights than to execute some motherfuckers. No better way to protect individual rights than to be totally neutral on the issue of gay-marriage. I don't give a shit about anything, least of all politics. But I have never -- and can't imagine I will ever -- have a friend who is socially conservative. There are a handful of issues I really don't care about (tax policy? immigration law? to some degree gun control?), but anybody who finds himself actively identifying with conservative social policy is somebody I tend to immediately begin ignoring. Slight le

On Repeat: El-P- "Dear Sirs" Are you fucking serious Turkish defense?

Oh. My. God. I had Turkey +1 (2 units) and Turkey +.5 (1 unit). I was all set to root for the Germans in extra time so I could fade them in the Finals, and instead I just get a mega-hardcore ass-ramming in the 89th minute. Oh.My.God...

Appropriate. I always get stuck with pudgy white pitchers. Sidney Ponson and Joe Blanton are my go-to losers.

Question:Who is more Mexican? Pele or Europeans?By how big a margin? I think the answer is obvious, but I've been wrong before.

1) He played mostly against Europeans, who are pretty much glorified Mexicans anyway2) Pele is probably black

No, the only people that are absolutely precluded from having the winner-gene are Mexicans*. The gene is recessive-recessive. Alex Rodriguez, for example, will never win anything. The Raptors are thinking about giving the point-guard duties full-time to Jose Calderon, which would be a massive mistake. Even if he averaged 22/14 they'd have a better chance with Steve Blake going off for 12/3 in 38 minutes a game. Wang*- All Hispanic peoples are Mexicans.

I think the day I drank the least in college was Friday.

I'm not sure where Zimmer's house is, but he'll likely have a few small obstacles to navigate, and then be reasonably home free. I can say with the utmost authority that Ann Arbor is a really easy campus to navigate blindfolded. WangPS- I hope everyone is doing well. Earlier today I ran a 20-person, 25 dollar buy-in tournament with unlimited $10 full-stack rebuys for the first hour and a 10 dollar add-on at the end of the hour. The prize-pool after the rebuy/add-on period was over $2,000, which seems like it would be nearly impossible.

Bodog Sports Customer Service to me show details 12:24 AM (3 minutes ago) Reply Dear Mr. (WANG),Thank you for contacting the Bodog Sports department.We have forward the information that you have provided to our Props Department so they can make the correction. The NBA Draft props should be open by noon tomorrow.We do not issue a bonus for minor grammatical errors but we appreciate you bringing this to our attention.If there is anything else we can assist you with, please do not hesitate to contact a member of the Sports Team directly at our toll free number, 1-866-591-0083.Best Regards, Bodo

Yeah, that's RIDICULOUS value for 'Melo. There were rumblings around these parts that the Pistons were discussing Hamilton/Wallace or Billups/Prince or some combination like that. Give me Marion -- who is awesome and has a contract that has value should the Nuggets be unable to contend -- and Beasley -- who should be a dominant NBA player; he's the best NCAA big man in years, regardless of his less-than-perfect stature -- any day. That would be TONS of value for 'Melo Are you saying he's bad at defense? That he's really good offensively, but his defensive ability makes him worth less than

Whenever I have a particularly rough day betting sports, punctuated by a couple of brutal, freak, bullshit losses, I have taken to:a) Entrusting my laptop to a friend, so I am unable to make any super-tilty bets (like, say, fading the Cubs for a quadruple in the ESPN nightcap)B) Popping a Valium and/or Xanaxc) Putting on my headphones and listening to "Dear Sirs" by El-P on repeat:"Dear SirsIf the pavement comes alive on Flatbush Ave with toothy smilesComprised of traffic cones and manholes become eyesAnd birds burst into flames while singing Satan's praisesAnd fold into the sky and rain down

Thanks for the insight. You can have them at +275 or whatever

Haha, my eyebrows are plenty ostentatious as is, and my nose is particularly Jewtastic. (Sidenote: Jewtastic should be recognized by spellcheck. As should "sidenote" and "spellcheck." Fuck. I was at a wedding this weekend, and there might be pictures of me decked out in full dress-up mode. If I can get one, I'll post it, as it should be hilarious.Wang

Dammit, today is going to be so ****ing awful. I already know exactly how this is going to go. I'm going to bet the Fakers again, and they're going to get blown out. I am so mad at Vegas for setting the line for tonight so fucking low. Thanks, guys. Tard-baiting only works when the team you're backing comes through...Wang

I don't care. Everyone was on Italy and I was getting a good price on the Frogs again. Plus, the only side I am more unwilling to bet than the Frogs are the fucking Pizzas.God. I hate Europe. I can't wait until this tournament is over, so I can get out of this god-forsaken continent until the British Open.

On a more equanimous note, I recently purchased a pair of eye glasses. I find they, somehow, make me look substantially less intelligent. Which is perfect.Go Romania.Wang