Shimmering Wang

Current Score: Deng Xiaopig: 108.68Aaron Hernandez (Tight End, New England) Sunday NightLeSean McCoy (Running Back, Philadelphia) Monday NightPornographicEx: 101.20Jason Witten (Tight End, Cowboys) IN PROGRESS -- 0.00 PointsPittsburgh Steelers (DEF) Sunday NightSo I've got a 7 point cushion, and the spread for Hernandez/McCoy vs. Witten/Pitt is probably something like Hernandez/McCoy -10.5. I'm a pretty big favorite here.

I would play with Colossus 90% of the time because I just liked his super-power noise so much. I'm not even sure how to type it phonetically -- something like "UuuuuUUUUUUGGGGGHHHH!" I suppose, but that doesn't really represent the change in pitch -- but I'm sure it's available somewhere on youtube. If I wasn't Colossus, I was Nightcrawler.And if I wasn't Nightcrawler, I was Marge Simpson. And if I wasn't Marge Simpson, I was the Elf, running around stealing all the food. Or, if I couldn't get to it: "Elf shot the food!"

When I was younger, I could do a really good Beaker impression. I used to randomly bust out into Beaker or Colossus (the sound he made when you used his super-power in the old-school X-Men Arcade Game) all the time in front of people, just to see if anybody would be able to recognize it, and thusly earn my immediate and unending respect. Nothing made me happier than when one of my dormmates freshman year described himself over the phone as a 6'5" Beaker, and the other, when he first heard me make the Colossus noise, looked at me and asked if I wanted to go play Marvel vs. X-Men in the West Qu

It was the "Next week on..." from an episode that aired about 2 months ago.

Pretty early on, I told Jenny -- since I really liked her and wanted to do everything I could to protect myself -- that, despite appearances, I'm really a bundle of neuroses and improperly functioning decision matrices. She didn't really believe me, and for some reason, just now, I thought of this line:Wang: "Anyway, I'm just warning you. Think of it like a... [cannot think of the word "inoculation"] Cootie Shot."

Okay, so this makes me irrationally happy, too, which I didn't know until now: "Everybody hates you. Everybody wishes that you were dead. 'Cause Peter you suck. Peter you suck. Peter your music is fucking terrible. Peter you suck, Peter you suck. Peter you don't do anything of value. Peter you suck. Write some music. But instead you sit and write these bullshit songs. It's so self-loathing. Go see a psychiatrist. I hate the psychiatrist. Oh, go see one anyway. I don't like the psychiatrist. You need to go see one. See a psychaitrist. I'm not going."EDIT: It's the last line that really slays

Wang is having an existential crisis. It's pretty hardcore. (Note: the word "existential" is meant to serve a very specific purpose, and that purpose is: to make the crisis seem less significant to all of you.) When Wang feels like this, he watches movies he enjoys. So I watched my favorite comedy of the last decade, "Knocked Up," and the only thing that even remotely cheered me up was the line: "You're so money you don't even know how much money you have." I consider that line among the greatest in modern cinema. It makes me happy when happiness doesn't even make me happy.

The first guys I thought of were Dale Sveum and Gorman Thomas. I have been trying to get my friends to buy me a Deivi Cruz Fathead for 3 years. I will also settle for one of the following:- Juan Encarnacion- Frank Catalanotto- Robert Fick- Jose Macias- Shane Halter- Matt Anderson

1) I'm allowed to get a break. Let's call it even for the Buster Posey "stolen base"2) Change your fucking signature. Coesillian is, to the best of my recollection, retarded as fuck. Though I'm sure he doesn't need me to defend him, Scram is -- and I don't have Joey Jo Jo's stats on hand, but I'd wager all the money in my pockets (currently: $1119.44; I just got finished collecting) against all the money in your pockets that they support this -- one of the finest pound-for-pound posters on this site.3) I declared victory too early. Current Win Expectancy = 70%

Tomorrow, at some point, I will go back and quote everyone. Right now, however, I don't have much time, so I'll just say: fuck yes the truth will set you free I am victorious I win I win I win. Also: Go Rick Ankiel. Fuck Okie State, Cowboys are gay.

She was a waitress at work. I once informed her that trees do not have internet access and, as such, are my natural enemy.

I just sent red-head Jo a text message:"What the fuck's up, Torrid Tomato?"I am having too much fun with this.

The kangaroo...I just want to know... ...?

"Well, I suppose if a girl is attracted to a real He-man, she doesn't mind his rough treatment." (SLAP)

Ol' Jess#2, eh? I haven't thought about her in a while. I am just so much more interesting when I'm single. For your sakes, once Maggie leaves town, I'm going to break up with Jenny.

Was it as hard for you to admit as it was for me? And, seriously, come on people. Yeah, it's my fault for slipping and using the name -- which, thankfully, is also not exactly her real name -- but I've been pretty paranoid about this. I'm going to be hypocritical and ask everyone to indulge me.

Triple fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck. Legitimate chortle.

Fuuuuuuck. It's hard to keep using the fake names. I actually called Kayla "Kayla," once, which was awkward. Double fuuuuuuuuuuuuck.

You know I'll never be comfortable until I get your blessing, right? I like Jenny a lot, way more than I've liked any girl since Maggie, and I'm doing my best to keep most of our stuff out of this thread. Jenny has her issues, like every woman, but they are issues I'm unused to dealing with, since I usually date women who are or have been marginalized in some way. Jenny, so far as I can tell, is pretty much the All-American girl (despite her ethnically Italian last name), which is a first for me. Even the Homecoming Queen was awkward, insecure, and full of self-doubt from the moment I met

Jenny tastes more like blackened salmon, whereas Maggie is a clean whitefish. I really prefer the taste of salmon, so I'd probably recommend he eats Jenny. Honestly, this question is unfair. If Maggie were replaced with one of my two best male friends, would anybody care what the results were? The right question is more like:"The troll says you can date either one of this women. Which do you choose?" Well, Jenny. Duh. Thanks troll. I'll pick to date my girlfriend. Jenny and I actually talked about it last night, and she was pretty honest. She said it really wasn't a huge deal, and I

My spatial intelligence is nearly zero, so I won't understand anything that has to do with the orientation of the cards in space and in relation to each other, and how it relates to the way the data is stored in your brain, but I can get behind the "tactile issue" thing. Also, the sturdiness might be handy. Paper bends and wilts. Notecards do not. For the record, ease of manipulation is the most important thing for me with data. If it's something I want to update or treat, I'm dumping it into a spreadsheet so I can break it down and screw it up without an eraser. Also my handwriting is em

Paper, Guapo. Fucking normal-sized fucking paper.

What the fuck do you guys use notecards for? I mean, seriously, I've never used a notecard in my life. I think I tried to write a speech on them, once, but then I realized: hey, regular paper just works so much better. Index cards are just... are you guys leaving yourselves little notes? Or marking pages? You know who uses notecards? Fucking bitches. I'm sorry. I don't... know why I have reacted so strongly. (Perhaps because: you're such fucking bitches?)

Way ahead of you there, pardner. I'm already at two, and I haven't even pulled the ol' pre-bed pull, yet. Waaaaay ahead of you.