Essay21

Penn shot up 25 percent or so already this morning. Put my order in at 3.50 A share hoping to get that extra dip first thing and it only got down to 4. Got greedy.

I’m thinking about going big on Penn National Gaming. The drop has been insane, but with sports betting coming nationwide, so long as they survive this i see it getting back to where it was.

Now seems like a really good time to get into online dating.

She wouldn’t let me go down on her, had some weird thing about it. It was a whole thing.shot my confidence. Wouldn’t let me work it by hand either. Too much pressure, I wasn’t built for that.

I’m so fvckin bored I wish I was sick. 30 days like this might actually kill me. I’m isolating for the next week but if things seem stable I’m back to business as usual after that. I won’t live in fear. These colors don’t run.

Good thing about a pandemic is the no line at chipotle downtown.

Though I’m not sure what point there to living if there’s no NCAA tournament or baseball.

Just got the call. All clear, no std. they said I should see my doctor and have my Prostate checked.

Sadly, it is true. I lost the weight and was feeling good, so I got back out there. Had sex, she was upset by my performance and things deteriorated. Months go by, and I’m feeling some burning. Just waiting on the results. but I actually hope it is an std, because something is def wrong and the alternative is an enlarged Prostate or something else really weird. Just gimme some meds and clear this thing up.

Dating apps can be quite depressing. I’ve quit them multiple times after swiping yes on literally hundreds of women and not getting any matches. I think few women are seriously using them at any given time. spekaing of, lately I’ve been pissing like ten or more times a day and just a slight discomfort at the tip most times. Went to the minute clinic and they piss tested me and I’m waiting on the results. The nurse practitioner certainly thought I had an std, but we’ll see. if I do though you gotta laugh.had sex one time in five years and lasted under ten seconds. Mighta cau

I know I should buy a place but I just can’t bring myself to do it. Moving to a new apartment with an attached garage soon. Probably go to house after two years there.

Buy the dip nap. Buy the dip.

Keep grinding stratty, you’ll get it. when do you weigh yourself? I find I’m 4 to 5 pounds lighter in the morning than at night, which seems like a lot to me. But I guess it’s standard.

she did follow up just now to tell me she’s figured it all out, I won’t get away with it, and she’s calling law enforcement. i shit you not.

You should work at a big bank. Don’t have to worry about stuff like that, only the rank incompetence of everyone around you. I did have a trust beneficiary’s wife tell me, and I quote, “...I’m going to destroy you, and there’s nothing you can do about it.” so it’s been a good week.

A few too many tattoos for Mr Malone though. Take it easy guy. He’s got that gonna be dead from overdose by 30 look going.

I just heard about Post Malone. A few good songs in there.

That’s every meeting we have. Bunch of people with no actual work to do bothering the people who do with pointless meetings about future meetings.

I’m forced to attend meetings quite regularly that have no application to my job. In fact, one meeting recently, about syncing ones Linked In profile to the company promotional team, they announced up front in the meeting only sales associates are eligible for this so if you want to but are anyone else you cannot. I said aloud, in front of the market president, then why do I have to be here? This market president personally told me to attend every meeting of this kind, that it was important. So I got out my phone and never looked up from it again. fvckin sales people have no idea whi

That’s what I’m saying, everyone does that. ****in joke to even mention it.

You gotta find a new place. Commenting on you looking at your phone? What the fvck is that.

Sports betting hasn’t gotten through yet in MO. They’re still racking other useless shit onto the bill, but it will get done. just gonna watch it with my mom cause I go over to her house every Sunday for dinner.

I’d post If I had anything to say or report or any new thoughts at all. But I don’t. Down to 165 pounds, but still ugly so not much has changed except I can see my ribs. I got a big raise and my bonus went up significantly, which is nice. Not doing anything with the money though. Just into savings.

Why can’t it happen? Life’s to short for doing anything but going for it. me? I’m the same. I was on my way home tonight and as soon as pulled out of the garage I knew I needed to shit. I figured I’m home in 20 I’ll make it. Only there’s an accident on the bridge and 15 minutes later I’ve made it 4 blocks. Now I’m in a panic and I have to u turn cause I got no time to spare. Rush back to the office and make it upstairs to sweet relief. Best I’ve felt in weeks.

At first it was all about the gallstones and not wanting to eat, but the last 6 weeks I’ve been trying. Riding the bike every day, doing push ups and sit ups. Went from 188 to 173 but last week was rough so up to 175ish. Laying off carbs is so tough when you exercise a lot, at least for me.