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Eminem - Stan (Poker Version)


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#1 Muzza86

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Posted 26 August 2018 - 01:08 AM

Stan - poker song

MY TEAS GONE COLD IM WONDERING WHY, I GOT ON THE FELT AT ALL. THE MORNING RAIN DISRUPTS MY ROUTER, AND I CANT PLAY AT ALL. AND EVEN IF I COULD IT WOULD ALL BE ALL BE GREY, DO I RAISE, CHECK OR CALL. IT REMINDS ME, THAT IM SO BAD, IM SO BAD.

Dear Slim, I raised you but still ain't calliní
I limped preflop, checked the turn and on the river decided to pot it
I sent two messages in the chat, you must not-a got 'em
There probably was a problem with the software or somethin'
Sometimes I swear and they get starred out when I jot 'em
But anyways, **** it, what's been up, man? How you runniní?
My girlfriend's pregnant, too, I'm 'bout to be a father
If I have a daughter, guess what I'ma call her?
I'ma name her Ivey
I read about your Bad beat, too, I'm sorry
I had a friend kill himself over some bitch that 2 outed him
I know you probably hear this everyday, but I'm your biggest fan
I even got the YouTube clip of you slow rolling Johnny chan
I got a room full of your posters and your pictures, man
I like the hand you played with Antonius, too, that pot was phat
Anyways, I hope you get this, man, hit me back
Just to chat, truly yours, your biggest fan
This is Stan

MY TEAS GONE COLD IM WONDERING WHY, I GOT ON THE FELT AT ALL. THE MORNING RAIN DISRUPTS MY ROUTER, AND I CANT PLAY AT ALL. AND EVEN IF I COULD IT WOULD ALL BE ALL BE GREY, DO I RAISE, CHECK OR CALL. IT REMINDS ME, THAT IM SO BAD, IM SO BAD.

Dear Slim, you still ain't called or raised, I hope you have a chance
I ain't mad, I just think it's ****ed up when people tank,
And Whyíd You have to knock me out the tourny last month
You didn't have to, but you coulda signed Autograph for Matthew
That's my little brother, man, he's only six years old
We waited on your whole time bank for you
For four minutes and you slow rolled
That's pretty shitty man, you're like his ****in' idol
He wants to play just like you, man, he studies you more than I do
Sometimes I push my stack to see how much it bleeds
And sometimes I get lucky, itís such a sudden rush for me
See, everything you say is real, and I respect you 'cause you tell it
My girlfriend's jealous 'cause I play poker 24/7
But she donít play the game like I do, Slim, no one does
She doesnít know what itís like when someone shoves and youíve got the nuts
You gotta call me, man, It'll be the biggest pot you'll ever lose
Sincerely yours, Stan
P.S.: Iíve only got pocket 2ís

MY TEAS GONE COLD IM WONDERING WHY, I GOT ON THE FELT AT ALL. THE MORNING RAIN DISRUPTS MY ROUTER, AND I CANT PLAY AT ALL. AND EVEN IF I COULD IT WOULD ALL BE ALL BE GREY, DO I RAISE, CHECK OR CALL. IT REMINDS ME, THAT IM SO BAD, IM SO BAD.

Dear Mister "I'm Too Good To Call Or Raise my hands"
This will be the last chat message I ever send your ass
It's been six minutes and still no decision, I don't deserve it?
I know you got my last two messages
No swearing at all, they were perfect
So this is my chat message I'm sending you, I hope you read it
I'm in the bog right now, I'm playing poker using 4G,
I love you, Slim, we coulda been all in together, think about it
You ruined it now, I hope you donít call and you dream about it
And when you dream I hope you can't sleep and you scream about it
I hope your internet dies and you can't breathe without me
See, Slim
(Shut up bitch! A hands being dealt)
Hey Slim, that's my girlfriend wanting to get on the felt
But I didn't tell her no, I just signed her up, see I ain't like you
'Cause if she plays shit she'll suffer more, and then she'll bust, too
Well, gotta go, Weíre almost at the bubble now
Oh shit, I forgot, chat only letís you type 60 characters out?


Dear Stan, I meant to call you sooner but I just been busy
You said your girlfriend's playing now, how good is she?
Look, I'm really flattered you would call your daughter that
And here's an autograph for your brother
I wrote it on a PokerStars cap
I'm sorry I knocked you out that tourny, I had a pocket too,
Don't think I did that shit intentionally just to bust you
But what's this shit you said about you like to shove your stack with pocket 2ís
I say that shit just clownin', dawg
Come on, how tilted are you?
You got some issues, Stan, I think you need some counselling
To help your ass to stop slow playing Kings when you get dealt some
And what's this shit about us going all in together?
Thatís the type of shit will make me not want us to play each other
I really think you and your girlfriend need each other
Or maybe you just need to teach her better
I hope you get to read this letter, I just hope it reaches you in time
Before you bust yourself, I think that you'll be doin' just fine
If you relax a little, I'm glad I inspire you, but Stan
Why are you so mad? Try to understand, that I didnít mean to time bank
I just don't want you to do some crazy shit
I seen this one guy on the felt a couple weeks ago and he made me sick
Some dude was drunk and shoved in first position with 83
And he had 7 people behind him, and one of them was me.
Someone called him, and said ďfishĒ, but they didn't say who it was to
Come to think about, his name was, it was you
Damn!

#2 SuitedAces21

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Posted 26 August 2018 - 05:13 AM

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View PostRon_Mexico, on 23 April 2014 - 04:48 PM, said:

Now that i've had a few drinks, I'm ready to admilt that the reason I dont post more is suited.

I hate every fiber of his being. He's awful and everything he writes is wrong, coupled with being annoying. Its uncanny how awful he is. If he was around when this thread was thriving, he would have killed it. Thankfully, he wasnt.

Maybe in the real world, he's not so awful (evidence says otherwise) but here, he makes me want to fight. Nobody makes me want to fight. Its beyond weird. I almost feel bad, but I dont




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