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You Might Be A Christian If.....


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The OP from an athiest humor posted these, thought we could add some more (or even some, You might be an athiest if....)If you replaced your pacifier with the Bible, you might be a Christian.If you think Fox News is balanced journalism, you might be a Christian.I you have seen His holy likeness in a potato chip...If you offer to pray for a friend rather than actually helping em...If you would rather your children live in guilt and shame because they are human...If you respect someone with the nacissistic need to be worshiped...If you've thought "Well that makes a lot of sense" while listening to Rush...

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If you think a single religion being false gives you any strength in your argument that a different religion is also false, you might be an atheist.If you hold that survival of the fittest is a foundational underpinning of evolution, yet abhor it when practiced by humans, you might be an atheist.If you want to file a lawsuit because some city council puts up a nativity scene and then take off Christmas day, you might be an atheist.

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If you think a single religion being false gives you any strength in your argument that a different religion is also false, you might be an atheist.If you hold that survival of the fittest is a foundational underpinning of evolution, yet abhor it when practiced by humans, you might be an atheist.
It's a comfort to me that, in the event that you are somehow absolutely correct and I am absolutely wrong, I get to go to hell where you aren't.
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It's a comfort to me that, in the event that you are somehow absolutely correct and I am absolutely wrong, I get to go to hell where you aren't.
1. That is a poorly thought out success result.2. I do enjoy that you take this position in a thread started by someone on your side trying to mock my side, and you have nothing negative to say to them, but you wait until I respond in kind and then you find a voice to dislike the content. This is your MO btw3. I hope you don't go to hell whether I am right or wrong.
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2. I do enjoy that you take this position in a thread started by someone on your side trying to mock my side, and you have nothing negative to say to them, but you wait until I respond in kind and then you find a voice to dislike the content. This is your MO btw
I don't enjoy how you post nonsensical garbage, which may or may not be your position and for which you can't be held accountable.
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If you offer to pray for a friend rather than actually helping em...
I don't think this is an accurate criticism of Christianity as a whole, which does a lot of charity.
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I don't enjoy how you post nonsensical garbage, which may or may not be your position and for which you can't be held accountable.
It is the internet...
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Amateurs built the Ark, professionals built the Titanic.
If you think a wooden boat built by a Bronze-age drunk can hold 100 million species and all their food for 80 days...If you think God doesn't want you to buy beer until noon on Sundays...
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If you think a wooden boat built by a Bronze-age drunk can hold 100 million species and all their food for 80 days...
2 of every 100 million species...
If you think God doesn't want you to buy beer until noon on Sundays...
Because you drink at 8 AM??
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If you think you had something to do with being intelligent...
That doesn't even make sense. I had absolutely nothing to do with my being born with the ability to become intelligent.
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If you think that the billions of followers of other religions are blatantly wrong, are mistaken, are even delusional even in their beliefs, and you acknowledge that the reason they believe in their false religion is because it's how they were raised and how they grew up in their specific culture, but at the same time you hold that your specific religious beliefs are unequivocally, historically true despite the fact that you came to them by the very same cultural means that 'false' believers have come to theirs, and yet you don't question why you believe those things or whether or not you could be just as 'delusional' as 80-90% of the rest of the world, you might be a Christian.

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