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I Called In Sick Today


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Part of being in a relationship is sometimes doing something you don't want to do but your SO does. The only reason for the exhausting fight is that you are refusing to compromise.

 

Here is a compromise my partner and I use: s/he drives, I do drugs. The ride flys by for me, and s/he doesn't have to deal with my normal antagonistic behavior.

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and after 3 days, he is risen!

If you are paying $20 for a haircut, I imagine people assume you did it yourself anyway.

Pocket change cost me my first and only black girlfriend.   It was in the middle of a roaring poker boom and I was flush in ways most men don't even bother dreaming of. Money, it was like dirt to me

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strat you should take it as a compliment she wants to show you off. it's kind of ego deflating to offer to go to a wedding with a chick you're banging and it being made quite clear attendance would not be appreciated.

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I think I'm just trying to weasel out of the relationship with this thing.

 

It seems like baiting her into a fight that plays out of a period of days or weeks is a really inefficient way to end it.

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strat you should take it as a compliment she wants to show you off. it's kind of ego deflating to offer to go to a wedding with a chick you're banging and it being made quite clear attendance would not be appreciated.

 

If I thought someone I were dating didn't want anyone to know about me, I'd be rock-hard. Rock. Hard. Mmm.

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I knew it!

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Buy me a southwest ticket and I'll go with Her as your proxy.

 

Do you really want to be the next dick in that after Strat? Effing echo chamber

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On the bright side, you would shower her with dinners, nights out and all the fountain soda she could drink, she'd think you're a Rockefeller and love you forever, or until the money ran out.

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the girl is really angry at me now. some dumbass coworker in a town two+ hours away is getting married, and she wants me to attend. she hardly knows the coworker, but she has convinced herself that this is her stand. I may have already told this story, but she got ridiculously mad about it again tonight, out of the blue.

 

it's just exhausting, fighting over non-issues. I hit the point where I didn't object when she said, "I'm just gonna go."

 

Even if it makes no sense, why not just go because it makes her happy? You're insane on some of the positions you take.

 

I guess this is irrelevant now, since you want to break up, but I loved Dutch's passive agressive way of explaining it. If you don't love her by now, just break up with her. Don't treat her like garbage.

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At least strat will be posting more soon, so we got that going for us.

Yes, wonderful.

 

Scrooomy I need your top 10 presidents in suited's top ten thread

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I just want Strat to be happy and to not be a dick to this girl.

 

I just want Strat to fall in love with a rich, slightly chubby or plain Jewish size queen, so he can stop worrying about retirement and start worrying about $12,000 bedsheets.

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Welp, enjoy being single! Let me know if you need any advice on transitioning into a bitter, middle-aged bachelor.

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This kind of reminds me of one of the worst days of my life.

 

When we were first married, my wife asked me to go the last barn dance of the year at Living History Farms. For the people that don't know, and I can't imagine that's anyone, Living History Farms is a living old time city that's within Des Moines and gets like a million visitors a year. You can make your own butter and visit a town set up like Little House on the Prairie year round. You can go to the blacksmith and shoe a horse on the right day.

 

Well anyway, they were having a barn dance and my wife was desperate to go, so I told her I would go and watch, because I'm not a dancer but I like bluegrass music.

 

So my wife, who is the nicest person you've ever met, quickly makes friends with another single woman and dances the night away. Every so often, she comes over and asks if I want to join, and I'm like thanks but no thanks.

 

So then the place really fills up and they ask the all couples to get in the middle. She didnt ask again, but I knew she would appreciate my temporary pain, so I got up and joined her. She was ecstatic. So the caller gets going and we are doing random things. Then out of nowhere they pair everyone up together in groups of 4 couples and put them in a specific spot on the floor. I'm immediately uncomfortable, but now that we were with 3 other couples, I couldn't really leave without ruining the fun for my wife and 3 other couples.

 

The caller says for the guys to stand in the middle of the women and face your partner, then rotate one to your right. So I'm standing there facing some random woman, who was hot and about 25-27, and they say that one at a time we are suppose to dance a jig for the woman in front of us. It was about 5 minutes I'm sure, but I was praying for death, and it seemed to last an hour. Then, of course, we had to keep rotating and jig for another 2 women before I got back to my wife.

 

They then lined all the women on one side of this huge barn and the guys on the other and they taught everyone this intricate dance where everyone was swing in and out and all of the women would end up on one side and the guys on the other. Well being the awesome dancer that I am, when the dance finished, I ended up being the only guy on the women's side, and since I'm 6'6", I couldn't really hide. Everyone was dying laughing and I wanted to murder everyone and run out.

 

Anyway, my wife was so happy and thankful and she knew how awful it was for me.

 

Still to this day, 16 years later, she tells people the story with glee and excitement, and it's gotten me out of countless crap that I would have hated. In fact, it's gotten me out of so much stuff by now, that I would say that it actually may have been worth it.

 

Still. Worst day ever.

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A) Brvy's wife really is the nicest person I've ever met.

 

B) nice humblebrag

 

C) I've never been to living history farms and I can't believe theyd let a random person shoe a horse. I kinda want to figure out when that happens now

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