pezeveng 207 Posted May 10, 2007 Share Posted May 10, 2007 Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are getting dead? Why do banks charge a fee on "insufficient funds" when they know there is not enough money? Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet? Why doesn't glue stick to the bottle? Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection? Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard? Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him? Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets? Whose idea was it to put an "S" in the word "lisp"? If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes? Why is i t that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white? Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale? Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized? Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cle aner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give the vacuum one more chance? Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end on your first try? How do those dead bugs get into those enclosed light fixtures? When we are in the supermarket and someone rams our ankle with a shopping cart then apologizes for doing so, why do we say, "It's all right?" Well, it isn't all right, so why don't we say, "That hurt, you stupid idiot?" Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling off the table you always ma nage to knock something else over? In winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer when we complained about the heat? How come you never hear father-in-law jokes? Borrowed from Willie Link to post Share on other sites
Don Giovanni 0 Posted May 10, 2007 Share Posted May 10, 2007 most of those were pretty bad. try again. well dont actually. Link to post Share on other sites
scram 1 Posted May 10, 2007 Share Posted May 10, 2007 I thought they were pretty funny. Link to post Share on other sites
JSHamm 9 Posted May 10, 2007 Share Posted May 10, 2007 sexual abuse, that's why. Link to post Share on other sites
DoinSublime 0 Posted May 10, 2007 Share Posted May 10, 2007 Here is a why? for you guys. Link to post Share on other sites
turd ferguson 1 Posted May 10, 2007 Share Posted May 10, 2007 Because straining your muscles fixes everything.Because nobody ever has enough money, and banks don't mind taking a little more of what you don't have. Plus they deserve it, and they know you'll have money eventually at which time they'll take what they're owed. Because counting to four billion is very hard, and touching a wall with your finger is very easy.Because it can't dry out in the bottle.Because the doctor has to handle the needle too.Jane doesn't think beards are sexy.When has anyone ever thrown a revolver at superman?Isn't the oxygen and their radio hooked to the helmet?Mirriam probably.People didn't evolve from apes. They shared a common ancestor.I'm pretty sure they're transparent, and they just look white when not inspected closely.September 11th.Because sometimes it's better to look at than what's on tv.Nobody does that, and if you do you're stupid.Try ziplock.Bugs are small. They can get through small holes that maybe you can't see.Because it's almost always an accident in which case it really isn't a big deal, and the pain will pass so most people do the decent thing and just let it go instead of being an asshole. Because when you move to catch something you have to act quickly. Speed takes priority over carefulness to not knock over anything else.I usually try to keep it at about 70 degrees all the time. Because women are bitches, and should be the butt of most jokes. If your father-in-law treated you the same as his wife there would be jokes about him too.Better? Link to post Share on other sites
pezeveng 207 Posted May 10, 2007 Author Share Posted May 10, 2007 Good Job turd now the meaning of life question, chicken and the egg, and why do we always lose on the river not the turn. After these 3 are answered I can die a happy man. Link to post Share on other sites
chrozzo 19 Posted May 10, 2007 Share Posted May 10, 2007 most of those were pretty bad. try again. well dont actually.wow, you are awesome Link to post Share on other sites
turd ferguson 1 Posted May 10, 2007 Share Posted May 10, 2007 Good Job turd now the meaning of life question, chicken and the egg, and why do we always lose on the river not the turn. After these 3 are answered I can die a happy man.We're here on earth to fart around.Reptiles came before both.You lose on the river because you misplay the turn. Link to post Share on other sites
BDPoolie 0 Posted May 10, 2007 Share Posted May 10, 2007 Good Job turd now the meaning of life question, chicken and the egg, and why do we always lose on the river not the turn. After these 3 are answered I can die a happy man.I would guess that most times you are drawing dead after the flop. Link to post Share on other sites
digitalmonkey 929 Posted May 10, 2007 Share Posted May 10, 2007 How do we know that we'll shit in our pants if we try to squeeze that last one out? Link to post Share on other sites
aadams_22 3 Posted May 11, 2007 Share Posted May 11, 2007 Why can't people leave alone?there I said it Link to post Share on other sites
timwakefield 68 Posted May 11, 2007 Share Posted May 11, 2007 Why do people use an apostrophe when pluralizing a word? Link to post Share on other sites
thehidden 0 Posted May 11, 2007 Share Posted May 11, 2007 Good Job turd now the meaning of life question, chicken and the egg, and why do we always lose on the river not the turn. After these 3 are answered I can die a happy man.1. 422. to eat them3. today i've been losing on both the turn and river so...becasue WASAPASCMS Link to post Share on other sites
timwakefield 68 Posted May 11, 2007 Share Posted May 11, 2007 WASAPASCMSLOLYou bring the kool-aid? Link to post Share on other sites
sacopoo 0 Posted May 11, 2007 Share Posted May 11, 2007 Ok i got one.Why is Phil Hellmuth the greatest poker player to grace the face of the earth? Link to post Share on other sites
chrozzo 19 Posted May 11, 2007 Share Posted May 11, 2007 wgy when im drunk do i accientelit y pis into eht sink? Link to post Share on other sites
SuperJon 175 Posted May 11, 2007 Share Posted May 11, 2007 Why am I so god damn hairy? Link to post Share on other sites
SuitedAces21 2,722 Posted May 11, 2007 Share Posted May 11, 2007 Why am I so god damn hairy?This post is worthless without pictures. Link to post Share on other sites
SuperJon 175 Posted May 11, 2007 Share Posted May 11, 2007 This post is worthless without pictures.Imagine a slightly shorter, much sexier version of Robin Williams. Link to post Share on other sites
SuitedAces21 2,722 Posted May 11, 2007 Share Posted May 11, 2007 Imagine a slightly shorter, much sexier version of Robin Williams. <erection> Link to post Share on other sites
jmkiser 0 Posted May 11, 2007 Share Posted May 11, 2007 Why wouldn't apes still exist? Link to post Share on other sites
Tiltinagain 973 Posted May 11, 2007 Share Posted May 11, 2007 Why wouldn't apes still exist?LMAO Link to post Share on other sites
pckt10s 0 Posted May 11, 2007 Share Posted May 11, 2007 why did I read this whole thread... I'm lying... I didn't really read the whole thing... Link to post Share on other sites
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