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I Called In Sick Today


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Brvheart, I'm going to the Broad Museum on Saturday and I'm super excited. I'm thinking about going early, hitting the flower mart, putting my name in for the 45 second mirror room experience (it's got a limited amount of people that can see it, and the spaces fill up quickly). Here I come Chuck Close.

 

IF you get in the mirror room, will you try to sneak a couple pics?

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and after 3 days, he is risen!

If you are paying $20 for a haircut, I imagine people assume you did it yourself anyway.

Pocket change cost me my first and only black girlfriend.   It was in the middle of a roaring poker boom and I was flush in ways most men don't even bother dreaming of. Money, it was like dirt to me

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I just watched the Michael Moore film Slacker Uprising. I usually like MM films, but man, this thing was a piece of shit. I think like 30% of it was full length songs being sung live on stage by random hippy folk musicians. Like, they didn't cut anything in these songs. One was about how Al Gore lived down the street from some dude and got the election stolen from him. It was cringy-bad.... Especially the editing.

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Hopefully it was a Life Coach

 

she is very leathery, and she reclines. so we are going to get along VERY well.

 

i put my old couch up on craigslist and a lady came by to see it. she had a young kid with her, and she said it was her grandson. i was taken aback because this lady was very fun to look at and has kept it extremely tight. one would love to see that daughter she mentioned. she was going to round up a truck and be back later, she says. i hope so.

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It been dead around here lately. What we need to spice things up is a good old fashioned meetup.

 

Anyone want to meet up in Chicago tomorrow? Scram?

 

Strat?

 

RodReynolds?

 

Frau?

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It been dead around here lately. What we need to spice things up is a good old fashioned meetup.

 

Anyone want to meet up in Chicago tomorrow? Scram?

 

Strat?

 

RodReynolds?

 

Frau?

 

OK, I'm game. Where/when do you want to meet up?

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My plan was to get a phone number of some gay prostitute off Backpage, send it to him claiming its me and to give me a call to set up details then praying that through the process of conversational ambiguity, they both agreed to meet somewhere....

 

But then I thought it over a bit and he seems like a pretty nice guy (like, if I had a GoFundMe, he'd literally be the only person on this entire planet to dutifully donate $20) and those gay prostitutes tend to lead pretty high risk lifestyles so 5 months from now when the queer is discovered floating face down in Calumet Harbor with his dress wrapped around his neck and his phone records were subpoenad, poor Brvy would have some 'splainin to do and I don't want to put him through that.

 

But beware, Brv, it was my first instinct.

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I would definitely buy a piece of your furniture Scram. I'll be at the Art Institute in the morning if you're interested.

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My furniture isn't the kind of furniture you would want.

Its pretentious horseshit meant to cynically exploit the intellectual failings of the ego driven rich.

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My furniture isn't the kind of furniture you would want.

Its pretentious horseshit meant to cynically exploit the intellectual failings of the ego driven.

 

Umm, haven't you been paying attention to brvy all these years?

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i put my old couch up on craigslist and a lady came by to see it. she had a young kid with her, and she said it was her grandson. i was taken aback because this lady was very fun to look at and has kept it extremely tight. one would love to see that daughter she mentioned. she was going to round up a truck and be back later, she says. i hope so.

Oh she CAME back, wearing little shorts, making me feel stuff.

 

Essay, SA, Suited, and whatever other alt accounts I don't know about: I think an older woman taking off your pants and telling you what to do might be the absolute pinnacle of your existence. Get. It.

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I actually like Brv. He's always been eNice to me... and he seems genuinely interested in meeting, which is a bit weird; I'm the most boring human being on earth. It would be nothing but awkward silence.

 

(By the way, Brv. If you actually want a piece of furniture, you can have one at no cost the next time I get a flake on an order of something that wouldn't impose too much, like an end table or a lamp. I'll let you know, no joke. There have been a couple times when I've had to give decent stuff away for the sake of space. It might be a while, but eventually, I always get hung by some decorator who has made enough orders to give them credit but suddenly goes out of business)

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