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I Called In Sick Today


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What's all this walkout stuff?

 

 

 

Registering my car here costs $72. So that woulda been a bi pricier in FL. What woulda been funny is if the old lady you picked up lost her shit and hit you with the cane.

 

 

 

 

Runthemopper saved like a hundred bucks at a mattress store by walking out like you do at a car dealership. Apparently they followed him to the car begging for a sale and knocked that much off the price to get him back in. I had several errands today and vowed to try the tactic out. Didnt work at the dmv, beer store, or court house paying a speeding ticket....

 

 

 

 

Since I dont need a mattress as of this moment Im trying desperately to find an establishment that I can save a few bucks at myself

 

 

 

 

Unfortunately my next major visit will be for a routine colon endoscopy. Surely they will cut the bill a bit for the return of the camera. Stay tuned

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If you are paying $20 for a haircut, I imagine people assume you did it yourself anyway.

and after 3 days, he is risen!

Pocket change cost me my first and only black girlfriend.   It was in the middle of a roaring poker boom and I was flush in ways most men don't even bother dreaming of. Money, it was like dirt to me

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I have done the fake walk-out a lot at Guitar Center. Their sales people are slick, but somehow really bad at negotiating, so you end up kaleidoscopic through basically every hackneyed tactic. I've had it confirmed that "the manager's code" isn't even a real thing, and that they are just pretending to type things.

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That extra bed will come in handy if you have another girl over.

 

You got a well-deserved like on this one.

 

That you friended one of his friends way back when.

 

Sure. But I told him ahead of time I was going to. I couldn't back out at that point. It would have been bad form. If he didn't want me to do it, he could have asked me in a post or pm. Anyway, it was only for the joke, and I have no idea who the girl was. I don't even know if I'm still friends with her. The joke obviously worked, since you're still talking about it. ps. Shake wasn't mad.

 

Taco Johns was your favorite taco place? jesus christ

 

I like BIgD dropins. There should be more of them.

 

Speaking of BigD, I'm glad Dutch has joined us. He's great.

 

Well, I'm gonna go eat a rack of ribs at a good BBQ joint here in town.

I was kidding about the rack of ribs, Strat. I know you were silently judging. Went with a grilled chicken sandwhich and a beer. Sue me, I didn't eat lunch today and Im an alcoholic.

 

Oh man. I was so excited to find out where you went. I love ribs. Iowa Pork ribs are the best. Hickory Park has surprisingly great ribs for not a lot of cash. I think a full-rack is only like $18.

 

 

I like cooler in the summer and warmer in the winter, as long as it's not blowing directly on my face. dries my eyes out, which already tend a little toward dryness anyway. I would let you icebox the shit out of our room, mexico.

 

If my wife would allow it, I would have the AC on at 65 at night and have this fan blowing right at my bed:

 

heat-buster-industrial-134403.jpg

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Cold room and mink comforter. Only civilized way to sleep.

 

 

It's not enough that you people have rendered great whales nearly extinct with you're *ahem* scientific research, but you have to slaughter minks too, just to sleep on? You're a monster.

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It's not enough that you people have rendered great whales nearly extinct with you're *ahem* scientific research, but you have to slaughter minks too, just to sleep on? You're a monster.

 

The moral I hold dearest is money. You think if I ponied up to sleep on a dream that there would still be ethical hurdles to get past?

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The boss e-mailed me last night asking where I was going to be today. I told her and asked if there was something she needed. She wrote back "I may want to meet up with you for an hour or so. Need to go over some info with you. If I can free myself I'll call you to meet up with you".

 

Clearly getting fired.

 

/Napa impersonation

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my favorite comedy shows ever. Half hour comedies.

 

Where's the South Park? If I watch it when it airs, it can still make me laugh so hard I can't breathe.

 

 

Somebody post another number and let's do a taco eating contest.

 

We're talking 'bout actual tacos, right?

Yes, real tacos. Rilly ril, as I watched a short lady pat out fresh tortillas at the counter.

 

 

 

Just got to the new hotel. No fitness center. Might just go pay the $10 daily fee at the Y but that seems excessive when my gym membership is $40/month.

Your logic is flawed here. You're not paying $10 for a gym, you're paying $10 to keep a healthy habit. Totally worth it.

 

i've eaten as many as 35 tacos in one sitting. my favorit taco joint used to do 39 cent tacos on tuesdays and i'd try and put them out of business.

unpacking sucks a bag of dicks.

 

See, I can't eat a lot of fast food. From McDonald's, I probably get the double cheeseburger, small fries, and a Sprite. At In N Out, the single, animal style. On the internet, that's eating light, but when you consider the amount of saturated fat which is involved you lose your train of thought. For the record, I felt great after my seven tacos and cupcake.

 

Good luck unpacking, are you and your wife able to take time off work? It's impossible to do when you're working.

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Where's the South Park? If I watch it when it airs, it can still make me laugh so hard I can't breathe.

 

 

Yes, real tacos. Rilly ril, as I watched a short lady pat out fresh tortillas at the counter.

 

 

 

 

Your logic is flawed here. You're not paying $10 for a gym, you're paying $10 to keep a healthy habit. Totally worth it.

 

 

 

See, I can't eat a lot of fast food. From McDonald's, I probably get the double cheeseburger, small fries, and a Sprite. At In N Out, the single, animal style. On the internet, that's eating light, but when you consider the amount of saturated fat which is involved you lose your train of thought. For the record, I felt great after my seven tacos and cupcake.

 

Good luck unpacking, are you and your wife able to take time off work? It's impossible to do when you're working.

 

i took thurs & friday off to finish packing and move. got quite a bit done over the long weekend and took yesterday off to go buy shit and do some maintenance that needed done. it's down to stuff like books and some of the odds n ends. i'm in marathon phase now.

 

Yeah hanky, what's your wife's rate for an hour of unpacking?

 

i would tend to believe this would fall toward the "kinky" end of the spectrum so probably 500+. But at least it would probably be done in the nude.

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See, I can't eat a lot of fast food. From McDonald's, I probably get the double cheeseburger, small fries, and a Sprite. At In N Out, the single, animal style. On the internet, that's eating light, but when you consider the amount of saturated fat which is involved you lose your train of thought.

I lost my train of thought long before you started talking about saturated fat.

 

 

Mmmmmmm, saturated fat.

 

Yeah hanky, what's your wife's rate for an hour of unpacking?

An hour, ha! She only unpacks until Hank is done unpacking anyways; nevermind the time showers take.

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the new mum album is great. it's pretty gay/weird but I like it.

 

Why do you always speak in code? Who is mum? Mumford and Sons? Or is there a group called mum? I'm assuming you don't like a mainstream group like Mumford. What's the name of the album? Why do you like it? What's the genre? I need the Ron Mexico deets, man.

 

What are your favorite songs on the chvrches album? Mum[ford] album?

 

deets.

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Yeah hanky, what's your wife's rate for an hour of unpacking?

 

I nearly spit coke zero out of my nose. This is like a Godfather III post for you. Everytime i think I'm out, you puuuullllll me back in

 

Fantastic, truly

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All the credit to Frau on that one. She put the ball on the tee.

 

I switched deodorant/body spray from the always cool axe to the classic old spice because of a sale. I now use old spice Fiji and i won't ever be going back. I smell great and people have noticed.

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I don't like how I can't see if anyone else liked a post on the mobile site. I can only see if I liked it. That's stupid.

 

I guess what I'm trying to say is; the new features on this upgraded board are seemingly endless.

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Isnt the way its always been? I cant see who liked what poat from my phone, just my ipad. Unless I go to my notifications

 

When you get all the likes i do, you tend to shrug it off. I can understand why you need to know brvy

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I had an interview this morning. Finally I can add to the miniscule amount of job related chat around here...

 

 

 

 

Although mine wasnt for a "position" so to speak. The gooberment is taking bids for a military base project in the middle of nevada. Part of the process after turning in the paperwork is a meeting with the potential contractor to discuss qualifications needed for the project

 

 

 

 

Ive been through this many times with cities, states, and large corporations but never with the feds. Walked in the office this morning with a portfolio containing a list and pics of equipment, related completed projects info, copies of licenses and insurance, list of company assets, etc. Also included was a week long unshaven face, collared shirt, and camo shorts. Hey, its worked well in the past...

 

 

 

 

So for about thirty minutes the guy scanned the papers and asked questions. Nothing out of the ordinary stuff. All my answers seemed to satisfy the chap so the subject changed to cars when he commented about the safety glasses I forgot was on top of my head

 

 

 

 

"I see you use proper safety equipment"

 

 

 

 

(points to yellow tinted glasses)

 

 

 

 

(Beans reaches up and discovers them)

 

 

 

 

"Yeah.... I was grinding a jeep frame earlier this morning.... left in a hurry I guess"

 

 

 

 

"Whatsha doin to it?"

 

 

 

 

"Ah.... I was just giving it a simple paint job...turned into a full blown restoration"

 

 

 

 

"That a hobby or do you guys have an auto shop as well?"

 

 

 

 

"Hobby.... or obsession as the wife calls it"

 

 

 

 

(thirty minutes of car stuff)

 

 

 

 

"So the silencer is quiet but if the bullet is faster than eleven hundred feet per second you hear a sonic boom like when a plane goes supersonic?"

 

 

 

(thirty minutes of gun talk)

 

 

 

 

"Come on out to the car and Ill get you a few.... my favorite is coke and diet coke since they are recognized immediately as sodas"

 

 

 

 

(stories about other inventions and random incidents Ive covered here)

 

 

 

 

"Well, Beans.... its been fun but I have to catch a flight to phoenix and I have to get my stuff gathered up.... I have to get my assessment in by the end of the month so look for an answer right after the first"

 

 

 

 

"Sounds good.... whats my shot with this if ya dont mind me askin?"

 

 

 

 

"I have a feeling youre gonna be spending more time in the desert this fall.... better get those cars finished"

 

 

 

 

"Good deal.... its been a pleasure meeting ya"

 

 

 

 

"You too"

 

 

 

 

(Beans walks toward door)

 

 

 

 

"Hey.... how far can you see again?"

 

 

 

 

"I ken see tha dam moon...how fer way is that?"

 

 

 

 

(door closes to laughter)

 

 

 

 

 

A good BoJack story always cinches the deal....

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