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and after 3 days, he is risen!

If you are paying $20 for a haircut, I imagine people assume you did it yourself anyway.

Pocket change cost me my first and only black girlfriend.   It was in the middle of a roaring poker boom and I was flush in ways most men don't even bother dreaming of. Money, it was like dirt to me

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That’s true. You did not make a mistake. I don’t think my bank was doing much wrong, just slowly bleeding out as the major banks kept taking market share via electronic banking. The fix would have been to get acquired by someone with enough scale to have an online presence. Must have been an awful few years, considering how the yield curve flattened and stayed that way for a long time.

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I have brilliant ideas about banking but I'm not telling because I won't be lumped into "whomever."

 

haha

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I had this conversation with someone in the asset transfer department.

 

Can you send over cost basis info to Wells now, they’d like it before the assets move.

 

No, I don’t send cost basis info.

 

What do you send?

 

I don’t send anything.

 

How do the assets get transferred?

 

I send them.

 

What about the cost basis?

 

I send that within 14 days of the assets transferring.

 

....

 

(Sound of gunshot as Austin kills himself)

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I have brilliant ideas about banking but I’m not telling because I won’t be lumped into “whomever.”

 

Look, when I need an opinion on a friend’s filet-o-fish radio ad you’ll be the first person I call.

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I had this conversation with someone in the asset transfer department.

 

Can you send over cost basis info to Wells now, they’d like it before the assets move.

 

No, I don’t send cost basis info.

 

What do you send?

 

I don’t send anything.

 

How do the assets get transferred?

 

I send them.

 

What about the cost basis?

 

I send that within 14 days of the assets transferring.

 

....

 

(Sound of gunshot as Austin kills himself)

ACAT? It is part of the process.

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ACAT? It is part of the process.

 

Just DTC. The problem is this lady is mentally disabled, as are most back office people. I ended up sending it over myself, but I have more important things to do than get that and send it over, but the stress of talking to these morons is too much. One day I won’t be able to take it anymore.

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Sounds like an incompetence issue in this case, but I hear people getting the impression that the custodian is just throwing up roadblocks to try to keep the assets longer. I know that we have lost a relationship specifically because TIAA CREF refused to transfer out an account, and the client got frustrated with us. It was not even a relevant account, just cleanup that should have been simple and easy.

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Heinlein's razor:

Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by stupidity, but don't rule out malice.

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I think about that story once a week.

 

simpler times, my friend. simpler times.

 

Sounds like an incompetence issue in this case, but I hear people getting the impression that the custodian is just throwing up roadblocks to try to keep the assets longer. I know that we have lost a relationship specifically because TIAA CREF refused to transfer out an account, and the client got frustrated with us. It was not even a relevant account, just cleanup that should have been simple and easy.

 

it was laziness. she just didn't want to do it and knows it is not technically her responsibility to communicate with an adviser so she refused. only reason i asked her to do it is the adviser from Wells is one of the biggest d bags i've ever encountered. i ended up sending the info to the client and asked him to forward it to wells. I said i did it for security reasons, but i just refuse to email the guy.

 

I've had successor advisers accuse me of delaying a transfer to hold onto the assets. i always find it hilarious because when i get a termination notice i always immediately turn of all fees. I do this because of the incompetence of our asset transfer group. i've gotten into with a few ed jones guys, and i even told one that were i to delay a transfer to hold onto assets i certainly wouldn't waste my time doing it on a one million dollar account, but i'm sure that's a big deal to him, so i can understand his impatience. ed jones guys are the worst, i hate them all.

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I've had successor advisers accuse me of delaying a transfer to hold onto the assets. i always find it hilarious because when i get a termination notice i always immediately turn of all fees. I do this because of the incompetence of our asset transfer group. i've gotten into with a few ed jones guys, and i even told one that were i to delay a transfer to hold onto assets i certainly wouldn't waste my time doing it on a one million dollar account, but i'm sure that's a big deal to him, so i can understand his impatience. ed jones guys are the worst, i hate them all.

I don't know if we've lost any big clients to ed jones since I've worked at my company. UBS and a few other places mostly. I would be so annoyed at the accusation.

 

The worst stories I've heard are the Northwestern Mutual douchebags. Their products are just awful, and so we almost always replace their policies. They have a release of info form that is deliberately difficult for clients to understand, and always gets rejected at least once. The client typically realizes what's going on after the first rejection, and turns on the agent, but some of them still dig in.

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My roommates friends wife works for Northwestern and my roommates have their IRA's and I assume some whole life insurance policies with Northwestern and I just want to tell them how f'n bad they are and to just go with literally anybody else, but I digress.

 

@Strat

 

Also, i've been hesitant to ask because you've already helped me out a bunch but I've had a few drinks and am feeling loose and I now have my 401k, a roth ira, and a regular IRA (both at vanguard) and I could really use some help making sure I'm in good funds and stuff if you could be so kind. Feel free to just completely ignore this and I'll never bring it up again.

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didn't we set your 401k allocation when you got the new job?

 

Vanguard has free trades for its ETFs, right?

 

I would take this questionnaire: https://personal.vanguard.com/us/FundsInvQuestionnaire

And use this to set your allocations: https://advisors.vanguard.com/iwe/pdf/FASINVMP.pdf

 

The S&P series models are probably my favorite (pg 5).

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didn't we set your 401k allocation when you got the new job?

 

Vanguard has free trades for its ETFs, right?

 

I would take this questionnaire: https://personal.vanguard.com/us/FundsInvQuestionnaire

And use this to set your allocations: https://advisors.vanguard.com/iwe/pdf/FASINVMP.pdf

 

The S&P series models are probably my favorite (pg 5).

 

Yeah, but then I rolled my old 401k over to my new one, my Roth 401k to a vanguard Roth and then my pension payout to a vanguard ira and I’m probably not allocated correctly across all of them. I can see why people will pay advisors. I just kept the same allocations with my 401k you helped me with and then I found a 4 fund “boglehead” portfolio and then changed the weights to where it’s like 5% bond and 95% equities. The ira fund is still sitting in a money market account because I haven’t did anything with it which was a blessing in disguise when the market tanked for a few days but I, a stupid person, didn’t take advantage of it. I’ll use those tools though.

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I was right about the job in KC... salary range was significantly below what I would want. A year ago, I was supervising two guys who kinda filled the same role here. Sure sounded like a slam dunk, which is comforting to know anyway.

 

But, now I know a recruiter who specifically focuses on wealth management stuff. I think it will be another year or two before my resume catches up with my salary, and honestly, the ops role is just chronically undervalued at smaller RIAs, and typically filled by the 20 year veteran admin that was around when the firm was founded.

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What a memory. That had to be ten years ago.

I think about that story once a week.

 

Hit a brother up with a link...

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I don't know if we've lost any big clients to ed jones since I've worked at my company. UBS and a few other places mostly. I would be so annoyed at the accusation.

 

The worst stories I've heard are the Northwestern Mutual douchebags. Their products are just awful, and so we almost always replace their policies. They have a release of info form that is deliberately difficult for clients to understand, and always gets rejected at least once. The client typically realizes what's going on after the first rejection, and turns on the agent, but some of them still dig in.

My roommates friends wife works for Northwestern and my roommates have their IRA's and I assume some whole life insurance policies with Northwestern and I just want to tell them how f'n bad they are and to just go with literally anybody else, but I digress.

 

I have a 401k and a roth through schwab, but most of my money is in vanguard funds. I like vanguard. I'm forcing my kids to invest also, and I've already told them that there are no circumstances with which I will let them withdraw their money, so they should start saving for houses and cars separately. They have to wire at least $100 bi-monthly into their Vanguard retirement 2060 fund once they get a job. My 19 year old has about 10k in his already. My 17 year old girl has around 2k. I told them they don't have to deposit anymore after age 29 if they don't want to. After that, they are on their own. (I suspect that there might be pushback if/when they get married, but I'll make a case to the spouse that they should continue)

 

I have a Northwestern term life policy that's awesome. I have a million on me and 500k on my wife and pay $96/mth. It's also a single term until I'm 70. My agent keeps trying to get me to convert or buy a whole life policy and I just tell him, "pass". I'm sad to hear that they have such a bad rep in the industry. I like my guy.

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I’m not near good enough at search to find it, sorry. It’s really not that outrageous of a story or anything. It was just sufficiently odd and quintessential SA that it’s stuck with me.

 

I split my old 401k up because I sort of panicked when I thought I was going to be kicked out soon and so I put the traditional in my current 401k so I could borrow against it if need be and then put the Roth portion to vanguard so I could withdraw from the principal if I needed to. And I put the pension payout in a vanguard traditional ira in case I borrowed from my 401k and then got fired or quit unexpectedly and had to pay it back so I’d be able to convert it to a Roth, use the proceeds to pay back the loan, and then deal with the tax code sequences later (it’s not a huge amount).

 

But now it’s looking like I won’t be kicked out anytime soon and even if I am another friend is looking to buy a house currently and said I can move in with him for however long I want.

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