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Christmas Trip Report


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This trip report doesn't have much to do with poker, but there was at least one cool hand that I'll write about.

 

The whole thing started outside a bar with my psycho girlfriend. She was drunk as usual, which can make for some wild times, but also makes her somewhat belligerent as well. I didn't want to spend Christmas with her, but I couldn't come up with a good excuse and at the last second I blurted out that I was going home to my family for the week. She knows I hardly ever talk to them and haven't seen them at all in the eight years since I left, so I think she was pissed that I would say that.

 

We were in my car about to head home when I told her that. I have a 2002 Mustang; it's not the greatest thing, but I keep it in good condition. She decides that she has to swing the door open as hard as she can and she slams it right into a parking meter. Whatever, I'm happy to be away from her, but then it dawns on me that I'll have to go see the family.

 

I leave Sunday afternoon and make the drive down without calling anybody to let them know of my impending arrival. My four half-brothers (same mom) see me pull up and they tell me they immediately were taking bets on why I was there. Most of the money went to broke or a girl trouble, but baby brother (Sam, who is 10) says I'm there because we're family. Good kid. Naïve, but good. Oldest brother (Derek, 18, senior in high school) wins the pot.

 

I come into the house and say hello. My mom is asleep and my step-dad is out at the bar, so I don't have to dispense with the pleasantries. The brothers are playing poker in the game room and I lie down on the couch. It's late and not much is said. I'm not happy about being there and they don't care much for me either.

 

The next day the step-dad is too hungover to go to work. He's the reason why I don't visit the family anymore. He married my mom when I was 16 ten years ago and from that point on all I wanted to do was get out of the house. I left at 18 and didn't look back. Anyway, the brothers are on Christmas break and the step-dad decides to put us to work. He's making some sort of koi pond or something in the back yard and he needs us to start digging. It beats having to sit around and talk to everyone I guess.

 

As we're working, Derek gets a text message from his girlfriend (Lucy). She's out of town this week and she's sending him these sex messages. Apparently she's never done this before and Derek is getting all worked up and the 2nd youngest brother, Keith, is reacting like he's seeing porn for the first time. I take a look at a few messages and just roll my eyes. Derek is happily shaking his head saying, "she doesn’t know what she's doing to me." I tell him he's an idiot and she knows exactly what she's doing. She knows she doesn’t have to follow through on any of this since she's out of town. Derek is way too defensive, but I suppose it's understandable since he hasn't gotten any yet and soon we're fighting.

 

Did I mention he's an all-league high school wrestler? Yeah, I got my ass handed to me, but I wasn't about to give him the satisfaction. He kept putting me down and I kept getting back up. The step-dad noticed what was going on, but wasn’t going to break it up or anything. I'm sure he enjoyed his real son whipping me. I don't know if Derek was frustrated that I wouldn’t give up or if he just got bored beating me up, but he eventually gave up and went inside.

 

We got a poker game going that night, but Derek didn't want to play. He was just sitting on the couch, texting his girlfriend, actually thinking he was going to hit that someday. We're playing stud when this hand came up. I'm dealt 2-8-K, 2nd oldest brother (Greg) has an Ace showing, and Keith has a 9 showing. Greg bets, Keith calls, I raise, and both call. Next card gives me nothing, Greg nothing, and Keith pairs his 9. Doesn't matter, Keith bets and I'm raising again and both call. Next card again is nothing much for anyone and I'm still raising, finally getting Greg to fold. Derek comes over as the next cards are dealt and takes a look at Keith's cards. More blanks and he's telling Keith to raise me. Keith mentions that I've been raising on every card, so Derek tells him to just call then. We get to the last card and Keith bets out and I of course raise with absolutely nothing. Derek tells Keith to raise, so he tentatively does, but I immediately raise him again. Keith acts like he doesn’t know what to do and Greg and even Sam are telling him he has to call, while Keith says he knows he's beat. They say they know he's beat too, but he still has to call. Finally Derek says, you know you're beat, just fold, and he does. Derek grabs my cards and turns them over and they all see I had nothing the whole time. I don't even care that he did that and Derek is amused. Now he decides he's going to sit down and play some cards and we're brothers again I guess.

 

The next day the step-dad tells us that he wants the backyard finished by the time he gets home from work. That gave us about 10 hours to get it finished and the brothers start working nice and slow. I know the step-dad is only setting this arbitrary deadline to make sure we work all day, so I start working as hard and as fast as I can. They look at me like I’m crazy, but Derek wants to show he can go faster than me. Soon we're all working as hard and as fast as possible. Around 3:00 we're done with the rest of the day to ourselves.

 

That night Derek starts telling Greg (who is 16 and is a big time drinker already) that I can drink him under the table. Greg starts talking about all these wild parties and I just say, "I can do 50 shots of tequila in an hour." Why I went with tequila, I don't know, but I knew the step-dad always had a big bottle around. Being the bunch of degenerate gamblers that we all are, the bets start flying. Derek is taking the action on me while the younger brothers are all against me. I start off doing one shot after another, but around 20 or 25 I need to slow way down. Splash some water on my face, walk around a little. That just gives Derek more time to get even more money bet against me. After pretty much all of their available money is on the line, it's back to work. I tried to pace myself, but I fell behind and had to go really fast at the end. That's probably for the best as it didn't give time for it to hit me as hard and with literally only seconds to spare I downed the last shot and somehow did not puke or pass out.

 

Doing yard work is fun and all, but I had enough of the family and maybe it was the alcohol talking, but I decided that the next morning I was driving to Vegas. From where I was in southern California, it was only about a 5 hour drive. So just like I said, I hopped in the car and drove off the next morning. I got about 30 minutes down the road when my car crapped out on me. It was an easy fix, but it required getting it towed back home first. Seeing my brothers' faces as my car got towed in made me think they wanted me to make it to Vegas as much as I did.

 

I got the car fixed and I was off to Vegas again. I probably should've just stayed home. After I was there for a few hours I sent a picture by camera phone to my brothers, me in the middle, a hot blonde on one arm, a brunette on the other. I sent a message saying, "Living it up in Sin City" and then turned my phone off. I just let them use their imaginations about what I was doing; they didn't need to know that I was blowing my entire bankroll playing way above my head. I have an issue with not backing down to anyone and this leads me to making a lot of bad calls. After only a few hours of that, I was busted and Vegas wasn't that much fun anymore. I drove home that night and arrived early the next morning. The brothers were disappointed that I was back already, but they were still giddy with questions. I didn't feel like dealing with them right then, so I told them I busted. They didn’t care about that; they just wanted to know about the women. They weren't really listening to what I was saying though and finally I just outright said it, they were just a couple of cocktail waitresses that I tipped big to get them to take the picture with me. They didn't want to hear any of it; they wanted to believe that when they get out of the house they're going to be driving off to Vegas whenever they want, winning money, getting girls.

 

I left again Christmas afternoon, this time headed back to my home. Derek wanted to come with me, wanted me to take him to Vegas, so we could party together. I told him I was better off alone and sent him back to his brothers. I don't plan on going back anytime soon, but I think my brothers enjoyed having me around. Maybe they'll even remember me when I'm not around and think good thoughts.

 

Ah, family.

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This trip report doesn't have much to do with poker, but there was at least one cool hand that I'll write about. We got a poker game going that night, but Derek didn't want to play. He was just sitting on the couch, texting his girlfriend, actually thinking he was going to hit that someday. We're playing stud when this hand came up. I'm dealt 2-8-K, 2nd oldest brother (Greg) has an Ace showing, and Keith has a 9 showing. Greg bets, Keith calls, I raise, and both call. Next card gives me nothing, Greg nothing, and Keith pairs his 9. Doesn't matter, Keith bets and I'm raising again and both call. Next card again is nothing much for anyone and I'm still raising, finally getting Greg to fold. Derek comes over as the next cards are dealt and takes a look at Keith's cards. More blanks and he's telling Keith to raise me. Keith mentions that I've been raising on every card, so Derek tells him to just call then. We get to the last card and Keith bets out and I of course raise with absolutely nothing. Derek tells Keith to raise, so he tentatively does, but I immediately raise him again. Keith acts like he doesn't know what to do and Greg and even Sam are telling him he has to call, while Keith says he knows he's beat. They say they know he's beat too, but he still has to call. Finally Derek says, you know you're beat, just fold, and he does. Derek grabs my cards and turns them over and they all see I had nothing the whole time. I don't even care that he did that and Derek is amused. Now he decides he's going to sit down and play some cards and we're brothers again I guess.
Allow me to be the one to call BULLSHIT.I stopped reading after I read this, instead of lying about something like this why didn't you say "that night we all watched Cool Hand Luke"???For those of you who don't know what I'm talking about this exact scene happens in the movie
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Allow me to be the one to call BULLSHIT.I stopped reading after I read this, instead of lying about something like this why didn't you say "that night we all watched Cool Hand Luke"???For those of you who don't know what I'm talking about this exact scene happens in the movie
Ever heard of a coincidence?
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ehh, I think you made it all up (for some reason), and I hope for your sake that you did. Depressing story, told with an arrogance that is unfounded and kind of sad.

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This trip report doesn't have much to do with poker, but there was at least one cool hand that I'll write about.
Allow me to be the one to call BULLSHIT.I stopped reading after I read this, instead of lying about something like this why didn't you say "that night we all watched Cool Hand Luke"???For those of you who don't know what I'm talking about this exact scene happens in the movie
oh hi der
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That night Derek starts telling Greg (who is 16 and is a big time drinker already) that I can drink him under the table. Greg starts talking about all these wild parties and I just say, "I can do 50 shots of tequila in an hour." I start off doing one shot after another, but around 20 or 25 I need to slow way down. Splash some water on my face, walk around a little. That just gives Derek more time to get even more money bet against me. After pretty much all of their available money is on the line, it's back to work. I tried to pace myself, but I fell behind and had to go really fast at the end. That's probably for the best as it didn't give time for it to hit me as hard and with literally only seconds to spare I downed the last shot and somehow did not puke or pass out. I stopped reading after the above-portion. 50 shots of tequila? In an hour? That would be insta-death.
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pls say this isnt a true story ... i no a guy who drank 25 shots of tequila in 10 minutes and 20 minutes later he was at the hospital getting his stomache pumped due to alchol poisning . very depressing story makes me appreciate my life lol

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Allow me to be the one to call BULLSHIT.I stopped reading after I read this, instead of lying about something like this why didn't you say "that night we all watched Cool Hand Luke"???For those of you who don't know what I'm talking about this exact scene happens in the movie
who cares this is Joeyjojo...so STFU
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I used to play at Prima poker a while ago, and one of my friends used to play in the same SnGs as me, and because we were pretty good, (or they were just really easy) we used to get down to the late stages(2-3) pretty often, we didn't cheat or anything because the bragging right of busting ur mates is much better that the money. We used to be accused of collusion and cheating all the time (we had the same home town aswell so it would look a bit dodgy) but nothing was done, we didnt even get an e-mail from support.
did the step-dad come off as a total dirtbag to anyone else?
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