I Called In Sick Today

[David_Sklansky 1,903]

I just learned that my partner pees in our pool pretty much every time xe's in it, and it’s turning me on so much. It’s like a humiliation thing from the desrespectful and inconsiderate behavior more than it is a direct piss fetish. I think I could get into a whole pool dom fetish, involving videos where people in sexy swimsuits neglect the filter and spill beers and shit.

[SuitedAces21 2,722]

i'm not one to judge, but piss fetish doesn't make sense to me. i don't wanna be pissed on and i don't wanna piss on her. of course if Emma watson wanted to piss on me i'd drink it like a cool glass of water, but that's not about the piss its about sweet sexual emma. then there's people who want to be shit on, literally. i think we'd have to sterilize those people.

[Theraflu 1,035]

One of the "great" writers (Emerson? Thoreau?) had a series of letters to his wife discovered, and they're just increasingly gross about what gets him off. Sitting under a glass table while she shits on it, etc. Weird stuff.

[David_Sklansky 1,903]

That was James Joyce who was into his wife's poop. Also, the act of pooping on a glass table with someone underneath is known as a "glass-bottom boat."

[Essay21 2,385]

That is pure psychosis. Any number of normal sexual fantasies and role playing I am all for, but poop is not acceptable.

[David_Sklansky 1,903]

“My sweet little whorish Nora I did as you told me, you dirty little girl, and pulled myself off twice when I read your letter. I am delighted to see that you do like being ****ed arseways. Yes, now I can remember that night when I ****ed you for so long backwards. It was the dirtiest ****ing I ever gave you, darling. My prick was stuck in you for hours, ****ing in and out under your upturned rump. I felt your fat sweaty buttocks under my belly and saw your flushed face and mad eyes. At every **** I gave you your shameless tongue came bursting out through your lips and if a gave you a bigger stronger **** than usual, fat dirty farts came spluttering out of your backside. You had an arse full of farts that night, darling, and I ****ed them out of you, big fat fellows, long windy ones, quick little merry cracks and a lot of tiny little naughty farties ending in a long gush from your hole. It is wonderful to **** a farting woman when every **** drives one out of her. I think I would know Nora’s fart anywhere. I think I could pick hers out in a roomful of farting women. It is a rather girlish noise not like the wet windy fart which I imagine fat wives have. It is sudden and dry and dirty like what a bold girl would let off in fun in a school dormitory at night. I hope Nora will let off no end of her farts in my face so that I may know their smell also.You say when I go back you will suck me off and you want me to lick your ****, you little depraved blackguard. I hope you will surprise me some time when I am asleep dressed, steal over to me with a whore’s glow in your slumberous eyes, gently undo button after button in the fly of my trousers and gently take out your lover’s fat mickey, lap it up in your moist mouth and suck away at it till it gets fatter and stiffer and comes off in your mouth. Sometimes too I shall surprise you asleep, lift up your skirts and open your drawers gently, then lie down gently by you and begin to lick lazily round your bush. You will begin to stir uneasily then I will lick the lips of my darling’s ****. You will begin to groan and grunt and sigh and fart with lust in your sleep. Then I will lick up faster and faster like a ravenous dog until your **** is a mass of slime and your body wriggling wildly.Goodnight, my little farting Nora, my dirty little ****bird! There is one lovely word, darling, you have underlined to make me pull myself off better. Write me more about that and yourself, sweetly, dirtier, dirtier.”

[Essay21 2,385]

Sweet baby Jesus, Brvy is going to have a heart attack when he sees that.

[Theraflu 1,035]

Thanks for clarifying, Dutchy.

[InternetExplorer 2,609]

I can sort of understand why someone decided not to keep that private... but not really. Maybe it’s great writing and I just don’t get it.

[SuitedAces21 2,722]

it's not great writing. it's pretty bad, actually, but it is an unfiltered glimpse into his mind. it should not have been made public, but we don't respect anything anymore.

[BigDMcGee 3,352]

You wouldn't know great writing if it dropped a steamer on your glass coffee table.

[brvheart 1,752]

I'm with Suited on this one. Poop is disgusting in every way.

[BigDMcGee 3,352]

I got like 2 seconds into 2 girls one cup before I shut it off. I knew what was coming, and I'd have thrown up if I'd watched 5 seconds more

[brvheart 1,752]

I've never seen that video nor had any interest in starting it. It's just repulsive.

[Essay21 2,385]

You wouldn't know great writing if it dropped a steamer on your glass coffee table.

 

I know stuff, writing included.

[SuitedAces21 2,722]

good talk.

 

i ordered myself the apple ear pods. finally, i have broken free of wires. i'm pretty jazzed about it.

 

work was work.

[Napa_Don 688]

Got a $1k (gross) bonus today for my work on the branch sales. Unexpected and appreciated but I certainly did more to deserve it than other people who got the same bonus but that’s fine.

[SuitedAces21 2,722]

Got a $1k (gross) bonus today for my work on the branch sales. Unexpected and appreciated but I certainly did more to deserve it than other people who got the same bonus but that's fine.

 

what are we spending this on. tell me we have some new shoes or a watch in our sights.

[Napa_Don 688]

We’ve got nothing planned for this (small) windfall.

 

It will just go to replenishing my savings in anticipation of future unemployment.

[SuitedAces21 2,722]

that is, while fiscally responsible, not what i wanted to hear. dammit man we need to live.

[Napa_Don 688]

There's just nothing that frivolous that I want to buy that I haven't already. I built a lot of that into my budget for house furnishings, tbh, and I'm way below budget on that as it is.

[Napa_Don 688]

There's just nothing that frivolous that I want to buy that I haven't already. I built a lot of that into my budget for house furnishings, tbh, and I'm way below budget on that as it is.

[SuitedAces21 2,722]

what's the tv situation at the new house? do we have a 70 inch high def beast? that could be something. we need to watch sports in the highest of definitions. my next big purchase is going to be a 70 incher.

[Ron_Mexico 4,219]

Napa is a homeowner now. Bye bye $400 shoes. Bigger fish to fry

[Napa_Don 688]

what's the tv situation at the new house? do we have a 70 inch high def beast? that could be something. we need to watch sports in the highest of definitions. my next big purchase is going to be a 70 incher.

 

I bought a 55" sony 4k tv just over 2 years ago. It is more than sufficient for the space.

 

Napa is a homeowner now. Bye bye $400 shoes. Bigger fish to fry

 

In your dreams, Lover. The truth is, I just don't have the need for $400 shoes at the moment. My other $400 shoes are still in perfect shape, as one would expect for such quality. I'm just kinda fat right now and don't fit in my "skinny" clothes and what few fat clothes I didn't donate don't really lend themselves to nice shoes. And, working in a casual office means I don't have to.

 

But don't you worry...now that I've got my own place and can keep more than one meals worth of food in the fridge The Kid is going to be better looking than ever.