Jump to content

I Called In Sick Today


Recommended Posts

SA, if I know you at all the entire time things were getting heated up, and probably all the way back to your chipolte burrito at lunch time, the number one thing going through your head was "Whatever happens I can't lose my erection" followed closely by "God, I hope she doesn't laugh when she sees my penis for the first time". You set yourself up to fail.

 

I can just imagine the stress you'd put yourself under worrying about performance anxiety. Like napa said, it isn't easy but you've got to make yourself just focus on her and not stress. Despite your low opinion of yourself, she was willing to get naked with you and get down to business so obviously she likes you. Relax, don't let yourself thing about anything but her and have fun.

aint you guys heard of viagara?
Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Replies 268k
  • Created
  • Last Reply

Top Posters In This Topic

  • Ron_Mexico

    19414

  • speedz99

    16304

  • Napa Lite

    7767

  • ShakeZuma

    7517

Top Posters In This Topic

Popular Posts

and after 3 days, he is risen!

If you are paying $20 for a haircut, I imagine people assume you did it yourself anyway.

Pocket change cost me my first and only black girlfriend.   It was in the middle of a roaring poker boom and I was flush in ways most men don't even bother dreaming of. Money, it was like dirt to me

Posted Images

Just did a little Facebook stalking of the new hire. Year younger than me. His facebook wall was nothing but bible passages. We're going to get along famously, I'm sure.

 

You have a golden opportunity to corrupt. Get him out, get him drinking, get him sinning.

Link to post
Share on other sites

I don't really do much sinning anymore though. Ever since I started morning workouts I've been going to bed early and not drinking during the week and eating slightly better. And unless there was an event, I haven't just went out since July ish.

Link to post
Share on other sites

Obama's turning out to be one of the great ones.

The fact that he personally went down to the SAC HQ in Florida to command our flying death robots in the low intensity, high selectivity campaign against IS is proof of this. If we had some turdhawk conservative in there, there'd already be 250.000 boots on the ground and a trillion worth of no-bid contracts issued to Raytheon.

 

Watching the Roosevelt series on PBS over the past few nights. Teddy Roosevelt had a large and vocal coterie of haters, too. History judges presidents, Bush will go down as a Top 5 worst president, Hussein will be at least Top 10 best.

Link to post
Share on other sites

Is anyone else confused about the timeline of suited's evening?

 

Some kissing and then went right for the stick it in? I mean, isn't a usual course of action, some kissing, work on the neck a little, lick, not suck, nobody needs a hickey, we aren't 12, work on the nips for a smidge, keep going south, munch and a delicate, well placed finger until she finished, then you pop it in. If you can squeeze in a little mouth love for your penis, do it after her first orgasm.

 

After it didn't work, you just gave up immediately and got dressed? You're the most baffling human ever.

 

 

But hey, you know what this means, napa is at the bottom of the sexual totem pole. I think Strat has banged since napa last did

  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites

Sonuvabitch you're right. Shit. I've got no prospects either. I need to start going out more or something. Maybe actually setup that dating profile.

 

My roommate told me he was going to make us pizza tonight so don't get anything. Mutherfvcker isn't even home yet. I'm starving.

Link to post
Share on other sites

Is anyone else confused about the timeline of suited's evening?

 

Some kissing and then went right for the stick it in? I mean, isn't a usual course of action, some kissing, work on the neck a little, lick, not suck, nobody needs a hickey, we aren't 12, work on the nips for a smidge, keep going south, munch and a delicate, well placed finger until she finished, then you pop it in. If you can squeeze in a little mouth love for your penis, do it after her first orgasm.

 

After it didn't work, you just gave up immediately and got dressed? You're the most baffling human ever.

 

 

But hey, you know what this means, napa is at the bottom of the sexual totem pole. I think Strat has banged since napa last did

 

everything was fine until it wasn't. then i realized it wasn't and that made it worse. she tried but nothing happened and that was that.

Link to post
Share on other sites

Just did a little Facebook stalking of the new hire. Year younger than me. His facebook wall was nothing but bible passages. We're going to get along famously, I'm sure.

 

I like him already.

Link to post
Share on other sites

Bush will go down as a Top 5 worst president, Hussein will be at least Top 10 best.

 

Are you taking bets on this? We can't wait a hundred years for me to collect my winnings, but maybe we could wait 50. Of course I don't know how old you are, but I'm guessing 42.

Link to post
Share on other sites

I actually think we should elect only black presidents from this point forward.

Sonuvabitch you're right.

 

RAP MUSIC CORRUPTING OUR YOUTH

  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites

Are you taking bets on this? We can't wait a hundred years for me to collect my winnings, but maybe we could wait 50. Of course I don't know how old you are, but I'm guessing 42.

 

There's no way to work out a bet that long but yes.

If you're surrounded by like-minded people, go to church and only watch Fox News, your perspective on this is going to be skewed towards the THANKS, OBAMA narrative. Once the epitaph on this age is written, the actions of Obama will go down as wise from start to finish. Wall to wall success. Success from 08-12 heading off a depression, success getting us out of the middle east and here shortly, success against the shitbags that expectedly rose up to fill the vacuum created by the absence of our presence which shouldn't have been there to begin with. Inflation isn't going to hit us hard for at least another decade and by that time, the pendulum will have swung back to conservatives who will wind up taking the blame.

 

You conservatives got fed your hat by a black idealist academic from the ghettoes of Chicago.

How can anyone trust you to succeed at anything ever again, after this? America elected a Muslim Negro before a Republican.

Think about that.

  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

Announcements


×
×
  • Create New...