Man Vs Beast

[screech 0]

We rule the planet, but it's only because we're nerds as far as the animal kingdom is concerned. Assuming no weapons, what would be the closest death match for humans vs animal in:1) An open field2) A steel cage (we can climb!)3) WaterEdit: Name the strongest animal we would beat, and the weakest we would lose to.

[NortonFan 0]

Depends on the animal.... but I would chose open field.

[screech 0]

Depends on the animal.... but I would chose open field.

My original post was a bit retarded in the wording.What I meant was, what animals would we give/give us the best fight in the following 3 arenas

[NortonFan 0]

Oh, in that case it's always the cage baby!

[Shimmering Wang 1]

Haha, Screech is using drugs, for sure.....How about this one.... It's the year 1300. Cut the human population of Europe in half. Except- oh man!- all of a sudden every elephant on the planet absolutely hates all human beings, and has an intense and unquenchable desire to see us wiped from the planet. Completely. Also, there are exactly as many humans as elephants, and both populations breed at the same rate per capita. For the sake of argument, we'll say that all elephants get along, and are capable of some measure of teamwork in order to further the cause of human annihilation.Who would win the war for the European continent?Oh yeah? But what if the killer elephants were twice as large? Food for thought,Wang

[NortonFan 0]

Humans could hide, Elephants can't. Plus we would be able to make weapons, so in short we would dominate.

[Shimmering Wang 1]

Humans could hide, Elephants can't. Plus we would be able to make weapons, so in short we would dominate.

Not even. Humans would get PWNED. If you doubt it, consider the following: elephants are huge, but double it.Wang

[NortonFan 0]

Yea, but we could just attack then hide because as you said there huge. We could go out at night and jump some then hide in the rocks. Rinse/repeat.

[screech 0]

Haha, Screech is using drugs, for sure.....How about this one.... It's the year 1300. Cut the human population of Europe in half. Except- oh man!- all of a sudden every elephant on the planet absolutely hates all human beings, and has an intense and unquenchable desire to see us wiped from the planet. Completely. Also, there are exactly as many humans as elephants, and both populations breed at the same rate per capita. For the sake of argument, we'll say that all elephants get along, and are capable of some measure of teamwork in order to further the cause of human annihilation.Who would win the war for the European continent?Oh yeah? But what if the killer elephants were twice as large? Food for thought,Wang

Wang,While intiguing, your question does nothing in the way of answering my question. Anyway, I think the humans would take it down. Around 1300 was when we had brains, but were still vicious ****s. We had canapults an all kinds of other crazy midevil weapons of mass destruction. We would probably erect huge towers that the elephants couldn't know down, and then bash them in the skulls with spring loaded contraptions.We would also dig deep holes with petruding stakes at the bottom, cover them with leaves or something, and sprinkle peanuts on the leaves.Another elephant killing strategy would be to breed hordes of mice and teach them to heard the elephants wherever we want.Bottom line, their tusks and size are no match for our brains.Edit: I forgot the elephants are double in size. This makes it closer, but humans would still win. Bigger towers, larger holes, and rats.

Not even. Humans would get PWNED. If you doubt it, consider the following: elephants are huge, but double it.Wang

Make it humans vs 2xgorillas, and you've got a match!

[Shimmering Wang 1]

Bottom line, their tusks and size are no match for our brains.

Yeah, but did you think about how numerous, viscious, and utterly GINORMOUS these elephants are? Because I think you might have answered too quickly. I'll stop being a moron (<----- haha, fat chance) and give some thought to your question.Wang

[Filesharer 0]

In an open field, off the top of my head, we'd beat a cheetah but lose to a stag. Cheetahs are tiny, and a stag is better designed for killing us with those horns than it is for killing it's predators, like say a cheetah.In a cage we'd beat an eagle but lose to a baboon. The eagle can't swoop on us, and the baboon would be able to strike and then climb away.In water we'd beat a gorilla and lose to a python. I don't think gorillas can swim too well, and obviously the python would be more agile in the water than we are.

[screech 0]

We rule the planet, but it's only because we're nerds as far as the animal kingdom is concerned. Assuming no weapons, what would be the closest death match for humans vs animal in:1) An open field2) A steel cage (we can climb!)3) WaterEdit: Name the strongest animal we would beat, and the weakest we would lose to.

1) Toughest animal we beat here I think would be a coyote. The cat animals just have too much room to outmanuever us.Toughest one we lose to that would be close would be probably be an alligator. I think some of the time, we would take it down in open terrain, but he would get the better of us in the long run.2) I don't think any bird beats us ever (maybe an ostrich). And I think it has nothing to do with swooping ability. I think the cheetah would be a close match, and we would probably take it more than it would get us.I don't think we would take veyr many of the bigger primates in any arena. The climbing thing gives us an edge against the ground based animals. I think certain humans would be a pretty close match vs wolves in this environment, while others wouldn't be able to do ****. So I go with wolves as the closest contender that destroys us here.3) For this one, I meant that it has to be a water creature or something that can swim. Interesting side note, polar bears kill belugas.I think we are completely out of our element here, and theres not many predators we can take. I give up on this category for now.

In an open field, off the top of my head, we'd beat a cheetah but lose to a stag. Cheetahs are tiny, and a stag is better designed for killing us with those horns than it is for killing it's predators, like say a cheetah.In a cage we'd beat an eagle but lose to a baboon. The eagle can't swoop on us, and the baboon would be able to strike and then climb away.In water we'd beat a gorilla and lose to a python. I don't think gorillas can swim too well, and obviously the python would be more agile in the water than we are.

RE water:Even if gorillas cant swim to well, how can we even get near it. It would simply tear us apart if we tried to dunk its head under water.I think your on the right track though with mammals that cant swim as well as us.

[ricker 0]

This is my favorite thread of the year and it's all because of this response....

Haha, Screech is using drugs, for sure.....How about this one.... It's the year 1300. Cut the human population of Europe in half. Except- oh man!- all of a sudden every elephant on the planet absolutely hates all human beings, and has an intense and unquenchable desire to see us wiped from the planet. Completely. Also, there are exactly as many humans as elephants, and both populations breed at the same rate per capita. For the sake of argument, we'll say that all elephants get along, and are capable of some measure of teamwork in order to further the cause of human annihilation.Who would win the war for the European continent?Oh yeah? But what if the killer elephants were twice as large? Food for thought,Wang

[Yoda 1]

No way in hell a human beats a cheetah - don't you watch animal planet?

[screech 0]

No way in hell a human beats a cheetah - don't you watch animal planet?

Yes. And I've seen a cheetah in real life. Ive even seen a cheetah attack a human (on TV of course). But it was a chick. I'm talking about your average 5'11", 175lb male.Cheetahs are tiny. They dont have retractable claws, which for some reason I think means that they aren't as strong (feel free to correct me). Also, they arent designed for killing things the size of humans. I do think it would be close, since the speed, quickness, claws, etc would be hard for a human to combat. however, in a closed cage (think octago), I think a human would be able to grab hold of the cheetah and rip its jaws apart, gouge its eyes, or break its neck befrore the cheetah got in a good enought position to get a neck bite in. Its close in a cage, and thats what these matches are supposed to be. I could be way off here too. And I think the cheetah would win hands down on an open plain.

[XX44466XX 0]

Shark wins water round, hands down.Gorilla wins cage match.Can I use a gun?Otherwise we're in trouble.EDIT: Oops.

[screech 0]

Shark wins water round, hands down.Gorilla wins cage match.Can I use a gun?Otherwise we're in trouble.

You misinterpreted this post.It wasn't, what animal would destroy us the most. it was, what animal would give us the best fight/we give it the best fight.

[DMBroller 0]

We would also dig deep holes with petruding stakes at the bottom, cover them with leaves or something, and sprinkle peanuts on the leaves.

I lol'd.

[Yoda 1]

If this one doesn't make you laugh...http://youtube.com/watch?v=tdNpPdd6Ywg&search=leopardsAnd that one will show you why a cheetah would ruin a human I think - even in a closed area

[DMBroller 0]

I think the cheetah pwns us in an open field. No human I know of can sprint at 60 mph. I think the closest here for us man v. alligator. We could easily sneak up on it while it's basking and take it down. One slip though and we're toast. Close match. Flipside - I think we give an orangutan a good run before it wears us down.In the cage man v. mandrill would be a good fight. I think the mandrill takes it because the red and blue face is too intimidating. A lynx, bobcat, or wolverine - or something along those lines - would make it interesting in a cage. They're small, but crafty. I still think we'd get that one though.Water's a little tougher. Humans don't move too well down there. Honestly, I think most water creatures that could come close to beating us would. That said we'd win vs. an seal but lose to a sea lion.

[screech 0]

If this one doesn't make you laugh...http://youtube.com/watch?v=tdNpPdd6Ywg&search=leopardsAnd that one will show you why a cheetah would ruin a human I think - even in a closed area

The first one keeps freezing after like 5 seconds and I can't ge tthe second one up either. ****. Animals attacking humans is so entertaining.One thing I did notice, is that in video 1, the cheetah has a lot of yards to build up its speed. In this arena, man is no contest. However, in a closed octagon, a cheetah can only get in like one stride. A strong man should be able to catch it in mid flight and snap its neck before the cheetahs teeth get to his neck. Also, in this position, the cheetahs claws will do minimal damage. At 100mph though, the cheetah would just bulldoze anyone over.

[Yoda 1]

The first one keeps freezing after like 5 seconds and I can't ge tthe second one up either. ****. Animals attacking humans is so entertaining.One thing I did notice, is that in video 1, the cheetah has a lot of yards to build up its speed. In this arena, man is no contest. However, in a closed octagon, a cheetah can only get in like one stride. A strong man should be able to catch it in mid flight and snap its neck before the cheetahs teeth get to his neck. Also, in this position, the cheetahs claws will do minimal damage. At 100mph though, the cheetah would just bulldoze anyone over.

Hit play then hit pause and see if the grey bar moved across - it might just be freezing because it's buffering/not downloaded yet. The first one is a comedy fake if you get to the rest ;)And if you could see the ferociousness of the cheetah in the 2nd one...I just don't think an enclosed area changes much of anything.

[screech 0]

I think the cheetah pwns us in an open field. No human I know of can sprint at 60 mph. I think the closest here for us man v. alligator. We could easily sneak up on it while it's basking and take it down. One slip though and we're toast. Close match. Flipside - I think we give an orangutan a good run before it wears us down.In the cage man v. mandrill would be a good fight. I think the mandrill takes it because the red and blue face is too intimidating. A lynx, bobcat, or wolverine - or something along those lines - would make it interesting in a cage. They're small, but crafty. I still think we'd get that one though.Water's a little tougher. Humans don't move too well down there. Honestly, I think most water creatures that could come close to beating us would. That said we'd win vs. an seal but lose to a sea lion.

dbm,good choices. However, I think an orangtun or any other decent size member of the ape family would tear us limb to limb. These guys do like 1000 chin ups/day since birth and their muscle/joint connections are structured in a way that gives them like 100 times more leverage than we have.I like your choices for the cage match, especially the linx. He's small, but quick, and is more adapted for such an environment than a cheetah. Plus he can climb very well.Bobcats I think we take becasue of they are basically just mini linxes. Wolverines I don't know much about, but something tells me they cant climb and that we will somehow use this advantantage to destroy them.Water: I don't think we can take a seal. They are huge. 600-1000lbs. **** that. I dont think there are many water based predators that we could beat. We would have to get something like an elk in the water, and try to drown it before it can kick us to death.

[DMBroller 0]

dbm,good choices. However, I think an orangtun or any other decent size member of the ape family would tear us limb to limb. These guys do like 1000 chin ups/day since birth and their muscle/joint connections are structured in a way that gives them like 100 times more leverage than we have.I like your choices for the cage match, especially the linx. He's small, but quick, and is more adapted for such an environment than a cheetah. Plus he can climb very well.Bobcats I think we take becasue of they are basically just mini linxes. Wolverines I don't know much about, but something tells me they cant climb and that we will somehow use this advantantage to destroy them.Water: I don't think we can take a seal. They are huge. 600-1000lbs. **** that. I dont think there are many water based predators that we could beat. We would have to get something like an elk in the water, and try to drown it before it can kick us to death.

The water arena is definitely hard to figure out. The primates though, while stronger for sure, don't have as much advantage in an open field. We can stick and move and have total use of our arms. To be quick the apes are going to have to use their arms for mobility during which time we can kick them in the gut - real hard. In a cage we have no chance. Out in the open I think we can use our mobility to even out what we lack in strength.

[screech 0]

Hit play then hit pause and see if the grey bar moved across - it might just be freezing because it's buffering/not downloaded yet. The first one is a comedy fake if you get to the rest ;)And if you could see the ferociousness of the cheetah in the 2nd one...I just don't think an enclosed area changes much of anything.

Ok, I just saw video 2, and that's crazy. But that's a leopard, not a cheetah. Leopards woudl **** people up in no time. They are 100x more viciuos and powerful than cheetahs even though they are both roughly the same size.Side note: At the Toronto zoo, they have a leopard and a black panther living in the same cage. I thought that was pretty strange, but I guess they get along. They are both about the same physically.

The water arena is definitely hard to figure out. The primates though, while stronger for sure, don't have as much advantage in an open field. We can stick and move and have total use of our arms. To be quick the apes are going to have to use their arms for mobility during which time we can kick them in the gut - real hard. In a cage we have no chance. Out in the open I think we can use our mobility to even out what we lack in strength.

I remember seeing a video of two chimp clans going to war on some nature channel. They are vicious and swift and would tear us from limb to limb.Also, I saw a video where one does a karate spin kick and another smokes. We are no match.