Bearded in Absentia

Yes. This was funny. I was just embarrassed that it was so easy.So I just got back from the bar. I was at the bar with Maggie. Maggie and me. I let her beat me at pool. [deleted]

I am clean-shaven and sad about it.

Here is his card for the last two nights:SNF:Giants-3.5 @ Bears (-110) 500Giants/Bears OVER 44 (-115) 500Parlay: Giants, OVER (+255) 500Teaser: Giants+2.5, OVER 38 (-110) 500MNF:Patriots @ Dolphins-1 (-105) 500Patriots/Dolphins OVER 48 (-110) 500Parlay: Dolphins/OVER (+260) 500Teaser: Dolphins+5, Over 41 (-110) 500

The biggest reason? If you play online or with a casino, you have to pay for everything up front. My clients don't have to keep a positive balance, which allows them to keep significantly more money freed up as opposed to hanging out at Bodog or The Greek. A) Yes. Many of my players would have no idea how to go about getting posted up online.B) Older players, sure.C) Also yes.D) Playing with a local has to be waaaaay less convenient, excepting the points I've already made.E) No. Answer: More than 105,000. Yeah...

Higher So far this year, my NFL/NCAAF combined margins are 7.15%. I'm running above expectation, but probably not more than .5% or so.

Yeah, I confirmed it this weekend with Big. Last year, I gave Big a handful of different pricing schemes. Basically, I had him divy his clients up into a few basic groups, a kind of player profiling, if you will. Different clients get different lines, based on their profiles. The Kid, given his unpredictable selection of sides, was in the Game Theoretically Unbeatable Lines group. "Take the Pinnacle line, add 6 cents to the price, and go." In theory, only a legitimate sharp would be able to beat the lines Big was dealing to his unexploitable clients. The Pinny prices are almost always p

Now I'm depressed.

When his internship was over, he got a job offer, but on advice from his consigliere, who found out they were lowballing him, he turned them down and told them to call back when they wish to get competitive. They... will probably not be calling back, which makes me the worst consigliere ever. And, yeah, he spent about 5 hours a week at the Macadoodles. He sent me a picture last week of himself frowning in front of the liquor store near his place in East Lansing titled: "I Miss One Thing About Arkansas."

Honestly, I've always just assumed that some day -- probably around 2015, when my first marriage falls apart -- that I would take a year of personal time, move to Arkansas, and spend my days doing odd jobs for you -- maybe some bookkeeping, helping out around the office, answering phones, or more likely working as a chauffeur and picking people up from jail -- in order to finance twice-weekly nights on the town so I can finally live the Hunter S. Thompson Gonzo Dream.

Earlier today, right after the Ravens covered, I was kicked out of Hooters and asked never to return. While paying my tab, I discovered I was, to everyone's recollection, the first person to be perma-banned without drinking or harassing a waitress. At one point, there was this exchange:Wang: "Inappropriate language? This is a bar."Manager: "It's a Sunday afternoon. There are children here."Wang: "You're kicking me out because this guy" [points to a nearby white-trash dad with two kids under the age of 13 at his table] "wants to ogle girls half his age?"Manager: "Sir, I'm just asking you-"Wa

I... cannot believe I missed this. I am going to spend the rest of the day trying to get my employees to call me "Skulltown." I think I can get that to catch on if I really try. "Yo what up Skulltown?"

I hate everything about you.

Please give us a list of other names you do not wish to be called. It should be comprehensive, and sorted in descending order of: likelihood of pissing you off.In a totally different vein, what happens when you get pissed off? Do you say mean things? Like really mean stuff about people that is even meaner than the stuff they said about you? I'm just wondering what follows the implied "or else..." in your warning/threat. I am Bearded in Absentia. My real name is Erik, but I prefer to be called Bia.

Are these "in addition to" or "instead of?" Perhaps, if I buy new curtains, I can leave out Simpsons DVDs? Maybe just Season 6?